Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
07-04-2017, 08:59 AM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
Ever since I started keeping Halloween decorations up year-round, religious solicitors have dropped to zero.

They may not keep evil spirits away, but they work on annoying fleshbots.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Old Man Marsh's post
07-04-2017, 09:23 AM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
Ever tried answering the door dressed as a BDSM leather bear?

Uh, me neither.

But I hear it works.

Especially if you skip the jock strap.

Just sayin'.

Drinking Beverage
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Gawdzilla's post
07-05-2017, 11:23 PM
Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
After the third weekend in a row of Jehovas coming to my door bothering me (passing right by the SIGN saying to go away,) I answered it wearing my slung AR15 rifle across my chest. I told them if they ever drove up my long lonely forested driveway again they may not leave. I have never seen them since. I live in the woods for a reason folks.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes treefireguy's post
08-05-2017, 09:01 AM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
(07-04-2017 09:23 AM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  Ever tried answering the door dressed as a BDSM leather bear?

Uh, me neither.

But I hear it works.

Especially if you skip the jock strap.

Just sayin'.

Drinking Beverage

I have a neighbor who claims that in his younger days, some jovies showed up at his door while he was having sex with his girl friend. He stopped and went and answered the door with a raging hard on, asking, "What do you want?!". They never came back, either! Laugh out load
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Fireball's post
08-05-2017, 10:20 AM
Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
(08-05-2017 09:01 AM)Fireball Wrote:  
(07-04-2017 09:23 AM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  Ever tried answering the door dressed as a BDSM leather bear?

Uh, me neither.

But I hear it works.

Especially if you skip the jock strap.

Just sayin'.

Drinking Beverage

I have a neighbor who claims that in his younger days, some jovies showed up at his door while he was having sex with his girl friend. He stopped and went and answered the door with a raging hard on, asking, "What do you want?!". They never came back, either! Laugh out load


Well I didn't see that one "Coming" ! LOL, god I crack myself up sometimes


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes treefireguy's post
08-05-2017, 12:38 PM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
I own a ranch in Texas, where we live. In my experience, JW's are not comfortable with animals. At least, the one time they showed up and began climbing over my front gate, I released our ten German Shepherds to go greet them, and they did not seem interested in establishing a dialogue. You could try this approach, if they continue to be bothersome. Bulls, Emu's, and Donkeys work well, too, if you aren't a dog person.

You would think a bible thumper would love all of God's creatures. Odd.


[Image: 2570uja.jpg]

[Image: 2a62qg8.jpg]




My dogs are atheists, too.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like The Dark One's post
08-05-2017, 01:13 PM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
(08-05-2017 12:38 PM)The Dark One Wrote:  I own a ranch in Texas, where we live. In my experience, JW's are not comfortable with animals. At least, the one time they showed up and began climbing over my front gate, I released our ten German Shepherds to go greet them, and they did not seem interested in establishing a dialogue. You could try this approach, if they continue to be bothersome. Bulls, Emu's, and Donkeys work well, too, if you aren't a dog person.

You would think a bible thumper would love all of God's creatures. Odd.


[Image: 2570uja.jpg]

[Image: 2a62qg8.jpg]


My dogs are atheists, too.

Long time no see! How have you been?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
08-05-2017, 02:00 PM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
I make sure I keep the garden manicured around the claws of the 25-foot blue dragon on my front lawn. I get surprisingly few religious visitors, and haven't seen the JW crew for quite some time -- Possibly because I asked them to put my house on their blacklist.

There is one trick I'm considering trying if ever they should darken my doorstep again:

(starts babbling in a mixture of real and mock Old Norse) "Brother Thor! Send Mjolnir to the top of the Watchtower headquarters building in Brooklyn and hit that sucker with a thousand lightning bolts. Bonus points if you do it when the President is there. Oh, and I owe you a drink, Bro."

I'm sorry, but your beliefs are much too silly to take seriously. Got anything else we can discuss?
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Astreja's post
08-05-2017, 03:03 PM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
We don't even answer the front door unless we know who's coming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
08-05-2017, 03:36 PM
RE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses at your door lately?
I very recently - and purely coincidentally - learnt about *that* meaning of the word bear. Wish I hadn't.

Or should I be glad that the LGBT community isn't missing out on the mind-bogglingly, unfathomably idiotic fascination with all things Neanderthal and primitive that apparently a lot of straight women harbour?

Also, why on earth would we need even *more* labels, like panda bear for a "bear" of Asian descent.

I've asked before - how do I go about getting a species change operation? Facepalm

I've never met a Jehovah's witness in my life Blush

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: