Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
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31-05-2013, 03:45 PM
Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
I'm rather insecure and have trouble making friends, it's led to a habit of fishing for compliments and I'm starting to become a bit of a misanthrope which I detest about myself because I know it's just an immature defense mechanism, any advice? I'm asking here because I think you people are a little smarter than the yahoo answers people.

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31-05-2013, 04:31 PM (This post was last modified: 31-05-2013 05:19 PM by Atheist_pilgrim.)
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
(31-05-2013 03:45 PM)tear151 Wrote:  I'm rather insecure and have trouble making friends, it's led to a habit of fishing for compliments and I'm starting to become a bit of a misanthrope which I detest about myself because I know it's just an immature defense mechanism, any advice? I'm asking here because I think you people are a little smarter than the yahoo answers people.

Damn, did my younger self manage to time travel here? Shocking

Dunno about the "smarter" part, but I've always struggled with making a good first impression and I'm a sensitive introvert at heart. As I've gotten older, I admit to becoming more of a misanthrope because the majority of people have disappointed me, turned on me, or abandoned me, especially since I left Xianity at the age of 40 after being one for almost 24 years.

At this stage of my life, I'm more into what my dog thinks of me than caring about any human's opinion. I'm OK with being on my own because I've always had to amuse/fend for myself since childhood (solitude is important to me - interacting with people tends to drain me after awhile, especially when crowds are involved, like at parties). I also focus more on the well-being of my immediate family vs. cultivating new friendships. Becoming an atheist in middle-age has been a whole new world, kind of like ending a long-term marriage and jumping back into the dating game.

All I can offer is this: the quality of your friendships are more important than the quantity. Relish, nurture, and treasure the few good friends you have, as it may not be in your nature to be a social butterfly. Some of the best times I've ever had were talking with a close friend over a good meal. I also take Prozac to help with my so-called "social anxiety disorder" and it seems to help me not sweat the relational load as much as I did without it.

However, if you want more friends, then you'll have to get out there, take risks, and endure some pain in order to find what you are looking for. And don't beat yourself up or agonize over the inevitable rejections - lots of people put on a tough act, but are more messed up inside than you'll ever be. I don't know how old of a teen you are, but the younger you start this process, the easier it will be. Even so, there are no guarantees - but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good luck!
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31-05-2013, 04:44 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
Stop beating yourself up. You're fine the way you are. Repeat that to yourself 50 times a day. Tongue
I never really had that problem, but I tend to seek out the quiet, shy ones. They're always the smartest and most interesting.
Just don't turn into an "axe murderer", like someone I could name. Dodgy.

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31-05-2013, 04:51 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
be comfortable in your own skin.
confidence in yourself is an attractive quality to others.
don't worry so much about what OTHER PEOPLE think of you- concentrate on what YOU think of YOURSELF.

if you can't look yourself in the mirror because its all a lie- it doesn't really matter what "they" think of you.

to get thru this awkward phase, stick to talking about topics that aren't you. Surely you have an opinion on the weather, on the activity, the location, what is happening in the world....etc There are many things to ask people other than whether or not they like you....or your new shirt.


Be excellent to each other and party on, Dudes!
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31-05-2013, 05:09 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
How old are you? Have you always felt awkward or did it start with teendom? I ask cause hormones can screw a person up for a while.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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31-05-2013, 05:21 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
[/size][size=xx-small]always and 16

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31-05-2013, 05:25 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
(31-05-2013 03:45 PM)tear151 Wrote:  I'm rather insecure and have trouble making friends, it's led to a habit of fishing for compliments and I'm starting to become a bit of a misanthrope which I detest about myself because I know it's just an immature defense mechanism, any advice? I'm asking here because I think you people are a little smarter than the yahoo answers people.
Do some online test for Asperger syndrome. Nowadays authorities say something like that occurs in 1 in 50 children (and teenagers I suppose) and so there's probably lots of them at your school, town, anywhere. This is the first thing you have to check. I wish I did. It's a common cause of increased awkwardness and gets worse at teenage years when social interactions get the more complex.

If the result is negative, your problems should be much easier to solve. It means the advice you get from other people may actually help you. If you have a different brain then obviously you'd need a different kind of advice.

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31-05-2013, 05:26 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
Fishing for compliments tends not to work because in your heart of hearts you know you asked for it and it wasn't freely given. And you need to learn to be comfortable in your own skin...not comfortable in acting the way someone else thinks you should.

As for being a misanthrope...I assure you I would rather spend time with my dogs than with most people I encounter.

Start working on figuring out who you are, what really feels right to you.

Being a teenager can really, really suck when you don't fit into the mainstream...the good thing is that the teen years usually aren't terminal.

So, you have a different drummer...so do I and I am good with that. You can be too.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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31-05-2013, 05:58 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
There is a very active teen section here, you may have noticed. They Skype a lot and have a lot of fun, (I hear). They have their own section in the forum. I'm sure they would like to meet you. There are quite a few people your age here.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist and Levitating Yogi, CAAT-LY.
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31-05-2013, 05:59 PM
RE: Any advice for socially awkward teenagers?
Good point Bucky...since I am way past teen forum age, I didn't even think of it.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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