Any funny Religion stories to share?
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04-02-2014, 09:24 PM
Any funny Religion stories to share?
Just thought I'd make a relaxing kick-back thread for anyone who wants to share stories about funny things that have happened to them regarding their atheism.

So yeah, let me be more specific;

Please share any funny/awkward stories that you've witnessed happen to other people or that personally happened to you!

We can all get together and laugh at the stupidity of religion better this way! Please contribute, I'd be surprised if nobody around these neck of the woods was ''fortunate'' enough not to be subjected to admonishment for their infidelity!

I'll start off.

This new years (Dec 31, 2013 -Jan 1,2014), I was around with my cousins and their parents watching the countdown on TV, when all of a sudden......


John Lennon - Imagine starts playing! The infamous lyrics, "Imagine there's no heaven..." start playing when all of a sudden my uncle fumbles for the remote like the worst football player I've ever seen, and with a face quite red and flustered, squeals, "YEAH GET YOUR OWN SONG BUDDY!"

I found it quite odd that they'd get so offended by that song as many devoutly religious friends I have love that song and say they themselves wish religion didn't exist even when ironically participating in one.

Anyway folks, any funny or awkward moments you remember? I'm sure some of you may have some... er... quite eventful times you'd like to share!

Everyday is judgement day. Use your judgement, use reason.
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04-02-2014, 09:35 PM
RE: Any funny Religion stories to share?
So one day I asked my fellow classmate why he did not have his homework.
"I had to go to church." He replied.
"You went to church for the whole 8 hours you were awake that day?" (Which there are 16 hours in between the end and start of a school day.) I asked unconvinced.
"Yeah..." He dishonestly said. "I have to go to church on wednesdays.
"So church is more important than school?" I questioned.
"Yeah, I don't want to burn in hell." He replied.
Many of my classmates who overheard this agreed.
A few months later I left that school and never looked back, walking off into the sunset that was virtual school.

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04-02-2014, 09:50 PM
RE: Any funny Religion stories to share?
Christmas eve 2013, I went to church with mi madre.

I was not sure if they had wifi or not (the joke about churches not having wifi because they didn't want to compete with an invisible power that works came to mind) so I pulled out my tablet and checked. I said to my mom they didn't have wifi so I pulled out my phone instead.

She asked how was I on my phone's internet without wifi. I told her I wasn't using wifi but since we are using an unlimited data plan, I was just using the satillites.

She told me it was GOD that was letting me use the internet on my phone.

I asked her why GOD would let me browse atheist/antitheist websites.

The look on her face and the tone in her voice changing to anxiety and asking me to turn off the phone was priceless.
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