Any other PK's here?
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10-04-2017, 05:40 PM
RE: Any other PK's here?
I am fascinated by stuff like this. Growing up Catholic where everything follows a script it's just so weird to wrap my head around someone just deciding to start their own church in their house. Kind of like freestyle prayer...when I moved to SC and started witnessing that I was a little shocked until I realized that eventually the basis of the prayers are the same even by the best at off-the-cuff praise.

The prayers I grew up with were very specific in their wording and correct usage. And the whole sit, stand, kneel thing along with some whacky hand signals were also quite specific.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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10-04-2017, 05:52 PM
RE: Any other PK's here?
(10-04-2017 05:38 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  
(10-04-2017 05:33 PM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  I've reported that post and Julep will be suspended for staying on topic. Can't have that, now can we.

She should also be praised. That is not an easy feat.
I prefer Cholulu hot sauce myself.
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10-04-2017, 05:53 PM
RE: Any other PK's here?
(10-04-2017 05:35 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  Heyo. Yeah, another PK here. I don't have much misery to speak of though. My parents weren't that bad, yeah they were pretty strict, and dad liked to embarrass me in his sermons, but never too much.

All in all good people, guess I was lucky.

Good to meet you Grauwyler, welcome to our little slice of the internet. Cool

I've met quite a few other PK's that even stayed in the faith without being too utterly dysfunctional; I consider my folks to be relatively decent in their own way (although others still in the faith might disagree). My mother was a neat lady ...dad not so much, but even he had his virtues. Honestly, growing up, I can't remember a single time Dad ever embarrassed me in his sermons. My other siblings might have different stories.

Hey, I was caregiver for both mother and father in their last years, so I guess they did something right; my ultra-religious sister and BIL only did slightly above jack shit.

Nice to meet you too evenheathen, and I'm sincerely glad others' experiences were not so traumatic!
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10-04-2017, 06:10 PM
RE: Any other PK's here?
(10-04-2017 05:40 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I am fascinated by stuff like this. Growing up Catholic where everything follows a script it's just so weird to wrap my head around someone just deciding to start their own church in their house. Kind of like freestyle prayer...when I moved to SC and started witnessing that I was a little shocked until I realized that eventually the basis of the prayers are the same even by the best at off-the-cuff praise.

The prayers I grew up with were very specific in their wording and correct usage. And the whole sit, stand, kneel thing along with some whacky hand signals were also quite specific.

My best friend in the whole wide world is an 89 year-old Catholic (who's probably in better fucking health than I am at 50); he's mostly baffled at protestantism in general.

When his best friend died, I attended my FIRST catholic funeral, and honestly, I thought all the sit, stand, kneel thing was pretty cool; it was rather rote symbolistic gestures ...but it was so much more comforting than the stale, fake-ish lip-service offered in the protestant funerals I grew up around.

I liked the guy ...the symbolic stuff was comforting! My mom and dad's funerals were infuriating for me because they were 90% fictional accounts of the people. I can't say they were especially "Baptist" services, as the officiator had never met either parent; the same guy did both, who ironically was my sister and BIL's retired financial advisor ...which my two brothers found to be a rather hysterical choice for an officiate, but since none of us were willing to do anything different and piss off the family, we had exactly one quarter of the children comforted at all in the ceremony.

To the rest it was a joke.
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13-04-2017, 08:02 AM
RE: Any other PK's here?
I'm a PK. My parents were/are very genuine and they made it a priority not to put ministry above their family's needs, so I didn't grow up feeling resentful. They homeschooled us and had quite a few strict rules, so after growing up I had kind of a delayed adolescent period and also realized how sheltered we had been.

I did really dislike the amount of stress that the ministry put on my parents...getting called all hours of the night for emergencies, having meeting after meeting, being distraught when there were problems with people and getting gossiped about when people left the church.

I also hated that some people put me and my siblings on a pedestal and expected us to exemplify perfect behavior to a standard that nobody else was held. And I'm an introvert, and a very private person, so it really bothered me that congregants felt like they knew me and were close to me when I didn't consider them close friends at all.
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13-04-2017, 08:42 AM
RE: Any other PK's here?
I'm a preacher's kid but not in the usual sense. My parents were divorced, my mom worked for a great chunk of her professional life on various career tracks, even ran her own small business for a few years. She was in her 40s and I in my early teens when she "got the call" to ministry. By the time she was done with her theology degree and starting to preach in churches I was already almost out of high school. So yeah, I was a preacher's kid but not in my formative years. Prior to my mom becoming a minister she wasn't particularly religious and neither was our household. We went to church once a week and to the occasional fund-raising potluck suppers there, but we didn't say grace at home and weren't compelled to say prayers before bed or any of that kind of stuff. Even after becoming a minister she wasn't all that Bible-oriented and was a very live and let live kind of person. I guess she looked at her role as sharing her spiritual perspective with people who wanted it, but not judging those that didn't, including me! She was much more about the brotherhood than the dogma. I think in truth she was always just good at being a "shoulder to cry on," and at helping people think out their problems, and ministry was just the avenue that impulse took. She probably could've done just as well if she'd gone into Psychology and been a therapist instead; a profession which creates another whole litany of problems for the practitioner's kids, lol.
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13-04-2017, 09:41 AM
RE: Any other PK's here?
(13-04-2017 08:02 AM)phoenix31 Wrote:  I'm a PK. My parents were/are very genuine and they made it a priority not to put ministry above their family's needs, so I didn't grow up feeling resentful. They homeschooled us and had quite a few strict rules, so after growing up I had kind of a delayed adolescent period and also realized how sheltered we had been.

Greetings! My mother was a schoolteacher (and Dad even substituted from time to time as I recall), so I think my parents had a fairly high opinion of public schooling. My oldest brother and sister weren't allowed to listen to anything but gospel music, but they had lightened up a great deal by the time my older brother and I came around.

...was the realization of how sheltered you were a huge shock? In our 50's and 60's, probably all my siblings agree how much of a shock it was to find out it wasn't "normal" in the least.

Quote:I did really dislike the amount of stress that the ministry put on my parents...getting called all hours of the night for emergencies, having meeting after meeting, being distraught when there were problems with people and getting gossiped about when people left the church.

I'm fairly sure this was why my family moved so often ...Dad was a bit of a control freak, and "control" seemed to have about a two year expiration date; as soon as the honeymoon was over, he tended to pick up and move elsewhere rather than address internal problems.

It was a real shocker to me to find out that some parents actually care about uprooting their kids when they move. Military kids have other military kids, but moving exclusively through small towns pretty well made us all perpetual outsiders. I still have a very difficult time forming healthy connections with people.

Quote:I also hated that some people put me and my siblings on a pedestal and expected us to exemplify perfect behavior to a standard that nobody else was held. And I'm an introvert, and a very private person, so it really bothered me that congregants felt like they knew me and were close to me when I didn't consider them close friends at all.

Umm ...yeah. This is probably the ugliest part even for PK's who stay in the faith. My sister is on the "lunatic fringe" of the evangelical spectrum, and every action, every facebook post ...pretty much everything she DOES is to show everyone else what a wonderful Christian she is (she nor her hubby are particularly "nice" people either). Having to be the "perfect kids" for the sake of show was so deeply ingrained into all of us, it's a touch cycle to break. My three siblings are all extroverts ...I may have been somewhere on the autism spectrum when I was a child and am still a pretty strong introvert.

After I graduated HS ...some of the congregants apparently thought they knew me, and were closer to me than they were. Hadn't really thought about it, but yeah ...that part was pretty weird too.
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13-04-2017, 09:49 AM
RE: Any other PK's here?
Interesting! ...out of curiosity, what sort of denomination was she?

My own was definitely the "Biblical inerrancy" and "church first, family second" variety. In later years, I could actually talk to my Dad about a lot of the dogma ...it was really interesting that he had no problem with admitting the religion was more about Paul than Jesus.

He counseled people too ...I still shudder at the thought of it.

(13-04-2017 08:42 AM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  I'm a preacher's kid but not in the usual sense. My parents were divorced, my mom worked for a great chunk of her professional life on various career tracks, even ran her own small business for a few years. She was in her 40s and I in my early teens when she "got the call" to ministry. By the time she was done with her theology degree and starting to preach in churches I was already almost out of high school. So yeah, I was a preacher's kid but not in my formative years. Prior to my mom becoming a minister she wasn't particularly religious and neither was our household. We went to church once a week and to the occasional fund-raising potluck suppers there, but we didn't say grace at home and weren't compelled to say prayers before bed or any of that kind of stuff. Even after becoming a minister she wasn't all that Bible-oriented and was a very live and let live kind of person. I guess she looked at her role as sharing her spiritual perspective with people who wanted it, but not judging those that didn't, including me! She was much more about the brotherhood than the dogma. I think in truth she was always just good at being a "shoulder to cry on," and at helping people think out their problems, and ministry was just the avenue that impulse took. She probably could've done just as well if she'd gone into Psychology and been a therapist instead; a profession which creates another whole litany of problems for the practitioner's kids, lol.
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13-04-2017, 11:06 AM
RE: Any other PK's here?
(13-04-2017 09:49 AM)Grauwyler Wrote:  Interesting! ...out of curiosity, what sort of denomination was she?

My own was definitely the "Biblical inerrancy" and "church first, family second" variety. In later years, I could actually talk to my Dad about a lot of the dogma ...it was really interesting that he had no problem with admitting the religion was more about Paul than Jesus.

He counseled people too ...I still shudder at the thought of it.

My mom was a United Methodist pastor. That's the church she grew up and was confirmed in. At least up here in the Boston area they're as mainstream and plain vanilla as you can imagine. Extremism doesn't have much of a hold in this area really. No snake-handling and all that bullshit.

I think her "call" mainly arose out of her hippie days in the 60s' and her social justice and civil rights advocacy and her work in healthcare - she was a part-time chaplain in a mental hospital for awhile too. I think she genuinely just looked at ministry as a way to care for and help people. She never got into the shalt not and the hellfire and brimstone and all that shit. If anything she was something of a rabble rouser and I think she stayed with it as long as she did (about 20 years altogether) at least in part to try and drag the denomination (or at least the New England Conference) to a more progressive and accepting stance on things like including gay people and families and other social issues. The gays and the drunks and the junkies and the homeless and poor were her favorites. I'm not in any position to weigh her effectiveness as a preacher against other people's but her heart was in the right place and she never cast anybody out.
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13-04-2017, 02:13 PM
RE: Any other PK's here?
(13-04-2017 09:41 AM)Grauwyler Wrote:  ...was the realization of how sheltered you were a huge shock? In our 50's and 60's, probably all my siblings agree how much of a shock it was to find out it wasn't "normal" in the least.

Yes. I didn't have that typical "college experience" of questioning and finding myself because I was encouraged to choose ministry over college, but I remember as a young adult the first time someone challenged what I had grown up with past the point that I could spit out my programmed answers, I actually got sick to my stomach.

My parents were a lot stricter than a lot of the other Christians I grew up with, though, so in some way I knew the way I was being raised was different.
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