Apologies
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10-07-2017, 05:01 PM
Apologies
I am confused

So recently people started to apologize to me. A lot of people and within a short time frame. Say the last two days or so.
I have told them all "it's fine" and I meant it. Just what I wonder is, what makes a person decide to apologize, and why is some timing really weird?
I am absolutely shit on social interactions and so on, so while this question might seem silly, I really don't understand.

Here is how I do apologies.
If I break something or I hurt somebody physically, I apologize. Just automatically.
If I hurt somebody's feelings, I might not apologize simply because I cannot read emotions well. So unless that person tells me that I hurt them, it is unlikely that I will apologize simply because I don't know that I hurt somebody. But because I do want to make amends, I have no problem to apologize once I know I made a mistake.
The one thing that is a constant in my case, my apology comes instantly.

But this is the weird thing. The past two days, people just started apologizing for all kinds of things to me. And yes, those things did hurt or made me mad. But I don't linger on this kind of stuff. I take a deep breath and move on. So that's just weird. I didn't make them apologize, I didn't behave differently from any other two days, etc. But those things they apologize for are either things that were in the past or things that are ongoing.

If anybody has an idea, please explain. I am just puzzled

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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10-07-2017, 05:05 PM
RE: Apologies
Sometimes I think that in looking back people realize they said or did something that could have been hurtful or unkind. A sort of self reflection. If it's something that didn't really bother you...acknowledge the apology and move on.

I would rather someone apologize and mean it than do something hurtful or hateful and just act like it didn't happen.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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10-07-2017, 06:13 PM
RE: Apologies
(10-07-2017 05:01 PM)Leerob Wrote:  I am confused
...

Sorry to hear that.

(10-07-2017 05:01 PM)Leerob Wrote:  ...
If anybody has an idea, please explain. I am just puzzled

No ideas.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Sorry.

Drinking Beverage

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10-07-2017, 06:27 PM
RE: Apologies
In my own life, I apologize right away if I screw up. That said, I have also apologized again to people, if I happened to be thinking about whatever it was that happened between us and I felt really bad about something in particular.
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11-07-2017, 11:19 AM
RE: Apologies
I apologise when I think I've been in the wrong (and sometimes when I don't think I have, but I've been misunderstood or someone has been hurt for some reason). I also don't hold grudges and find it petty and immature. I dislike people who do and especially people who insist that one apologise repeatedly; people who want to be begged for forgiveness, time and time again (matter of fact, I dislike the word forgiveness; I think it's too strong in the majority of cases we encounter in our daily lives. You forgive someone for deep trauma, not for a silly quarrel. But that's just me).


"I hold no grudge
There's no resentment und'neath
I'll extend the laurel wreath and we'll be friends
But right there is where it ends"




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11-07-2017, 11:37 AM
RE: Apologies
I apologize when I've wronged someone.
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11-07-2017, 11:42 AM
RE: Apologies
One day I was coming out of the grocery store with a full cart. I was deep in thought and not paying any attention to things. A guy touched my shoulder and handed me some toilet paper that apparently had fallen off my cart. Still deep in thought I mumbled "thank you, sorry" and moved on.

He walked in front of me and looked me in the eye and asked what I was sorry about. That totally brought me back to reality.

What was I sorry about? "Nothing, really, it's just a figure of speech" and I thanked him again and moved on. I could feel him staring at my back for a bit.

Somehow that whole encounter was disturbing and I don't know why. I do get absorbed in thought sometimes, but not usually when I am out and about. Normally I would have totally forgotten about it a few minutes later, but his stepping in front of me made the incident stick.

Wasn't it weird of him to react to "sorry" like he did? Or was I the weird one? Probably both.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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11-07-2017, 11:46 AM
RE: Apologies
(11-07-2017 11:42 AM)Dom Wrote:  Wasn't it weird of him to react to "sorry" like he did? Or was I the weird one? Probably both.
Maybe in the back of your mind you felt you had wasted his time? I'm not saying you did, but sometimes I feel that way.
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11-07-2017, 11:47 AM
RE: Apologies
(11-07-2017 11:46 AM)Clockwork Wrote:  
(11-07-2017 11:42 AM)Dom Wrote:  Wasn't it weird of him to react to "sorry" like he did? Or was I the weird one? Probably both.
Maybe in the back of your mind you felt you had wasted his time? I'm not saying you did, but sometimes I feel that way.

I felt like I had been rude because my mind was miles away....

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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11-07-2017, 11:55 AM
RE: Apologies
(11-07-2017 11:42 AM)Dom Wrote:  Wasn't it weird of him to react to "sorry" like he did? Or was I the weird one? Probably both.

I wouldn't find "sorry" weird in this situation; might have even said it myself, as in - sorry I'm dropping my stuff left and right and sorry I didn't hear you try to draw my attention to it.

Someone told me once (abroad, during a trip of three months) that they'd start charging me every time I said "sorry". They were planning on getting rich this way Rolleyes I do say sorry way, way too much. Don't even realise I'm doing it most of the time...

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