Apostasy: to do or not to do?
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06-01-2012, 05:38 PM
Apostasy: to do or not to do?
I live in my parents house and I have told them that I am a hardcore atheist. I had lot's of conversations with them about religion, science and one time I mentioned that I want to become an official apostate: I'm planning on getting my name removed from the baptism book, which would probably be the first time that someone has ever attempted this in my city.
My father's reaction was cool and calm, as he is a non-believer himself. But he's a traditionalist, so whatever my mom - the somewhat devout catholic believer - said against my apostasy, my father backed her up.
Now, although I've told them that I've already became an apostate, I actually plan on becoming one in the near future, before I move out, as a present to myself.
Once, I've heard my mom talking to a relative, saying that if I truly become an apostate, thus violating the hard traditions of my family, I'm a "half-son" to her. I became so mad at her and the stupidity that surrounds me in the catholic environment that I've even thought about breaking all ties with my mother as soon as I move out - If I'm a half son to her because of religion, then I don't really have a response to her stupidity - I don't need a half-ass love from my religious mother.

Now, I'm convinced that I must become an official apostate and will use the Identity Theft law in order to erase myself from the baptism book, if needed.

The question is: what do you think? Are my thoughts and actions justified? Will I be able to pull it off? Any predictions? Or anything? Do you have personal experience regarding apostasy? How should I approach the church, which hosts the religion, which made my mom call me a half-son?

I find this very interesting and hope that it will be a popular topic.
Looking forward to your posts.
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06-01-2012, 07:21 PM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
(06-01-2012 05:38 PM)deadhari5 Wrote:  Now, I'm convinced that I must become an official apostate and will use the Identity Theft law in order to erase myself from the baptism book, if needed.

The question is: what do you think? Are my thoughts and actions justified? Will I be able to pull it off? Any predictions? Or anything? Do you have personal experience regarding apostasy? How should I approach the church, which hosts the religion, which made my mom call me a half-son?

My first reaction is "Why bother?". My second reaction was "How does the identity theft law apply?".

Then I thought "Do you really need to hurt your mother?". It sounds like you want to.

But, really, why bother?

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06-01-2012, 08:15 PM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
Take the high road and don't be petty.
Try and love your parents regardless of what they believe. There's no reason to burn bridges if you don't really have to. Religion is an emotional subject and parents who really believe can and will react emotionally when their children go against the things they themselves hold dear. They're only human. Give her a break and give her time. She may eventually come around, or you can at least have a civil relationship with religion off the table. You only have one life and one mother - appreciate what you have and don't throw away relationships if you can mend them.

As for getting yourself officially ex-communicated. It's not easy, and won't really accomplish anything. We don't need some paper from the church to prove that we are apostates.

I'm a proud ex-Catholic apostate myself. If you're interested check out my blog and facebook page (link in my signature). Gonna start doing youtube vids soon, too.

Best of luck.

Apostate Chi Ro (XP)
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Adventures in Apostasy. A former devout Catholic and amateur apologist turned atheist shares his thoughts.

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06-01-2012, 08:38 PM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
(06-01-2012 05:38 PM)deadhari5 Wrote:  I live in my parents house and I have told them that I am a hardcore atheist. I had lot's of conversations with them about religion, science and one time I mentioned that I want to become an official apostate: I'm planning on getting my name removed from the baptism book, which would probably be the first time that someone has ever attempted this in my city.
My father's reaction was cool and calm, as he is a non-believer himself. But he's a traditionalist, so whatever my mom - the somewhat devout catholic believer - said against my apostasy, my father backed her up.
Now, although I've told them that I've already became an apostate, I actually plan on becoming one in the near future, before I move out, as a present to myself.
Once, I've heard my mom talking to a relative, saying that if I truly become an apostate, thus violating the hard traditions of my family, I'm a "half-son" to her. I became so mad at her and the stupidity that surrounds me in the catholic environment that I've even thought about breaking all ties with my mother as soon as I move out - If I'm a half son to her because of religion, then I don't really have a response to her stupidity - I don't need a half-ass love from my religious mother.

Now, I'm convinced that I must become an official apostate and will use the Identity Theft law in order to erase myself from the baptism book, if needed.

The question is: what do you think? Are my thoughts and actions justified? Will I be able to pull it off? Any predictions? Or anything? Do you have personal experience regarding apostasy? How should I approach the church, which hosts the religion, which made my mom call me a half-son?

I find this very interesting and hope that it will be a popular topic.
Looking forward to your posts.

I think you may be starting a bit of a storm in a tea cup, though of course I don't know the religious vibes you are up against.

I would suggest you simply indicate your atheistic position and try and avoid all discussions on religion. To hold ill will against religious people, unless they are a real threat, is counterproductive and you will only keep on upsetting yourself. Wink
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06-01-2012, 11:39 PM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
The war of identity ends at the threshold of eternity. I am a warrior for the identity: atheist, that is my faith. Family is a matter of faith in identity; I am is a matter of faith in integrity. Do not let the words decieve you into taking an unfavorable strategic position. Wink

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08-01-2012, 12:30 AM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
Such trivial matters should not consume your time. Do something useful.

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20-02-2012, 10:23 PM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
Part of my reason for being atheist was the silly little ceremonies they go through to justify their fairy tales. Trying to get my name off the baptisim list seems a backhand acknowledgement to their fantasy. That I wont do. Maybe some church historian will come accross my name 200 or more years from now by which time I wont give a rats ass. Maybe doing nothing more then ignoring the church will help your relationship with your mother or maybe not. ONLY you know the dynamics between you and your mother.
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21-02-2012, 06:08 AM (This post was last modified: 21-02-2012 06:12 AM by Smooshmonster.)
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
I don't have any personal experience here because, despite being born catholic (that's how it works here Tongue), I wasn't baptised or confirmed.

I really think that if you want to do this, you should. It is a personal decision and how your parents feel about it shouldn't affect it. However, if you know it will upset them why tell them about it? I don't know how close you are to your parents, but I feel that I owe my mother too much to destroy our relationship because of silly beliefs (although she has now come to terms with her all-atheist family).

Approach the church on your own. I don't think you need to do more than ask for them to remove it. It's not like you can tear up your membership card in front of a priest to make it official.

Do it for yourself, not to piss anyone off. Do it because it's one less "lapsed catholic" and one more "non-religious" person.
Don't do it just to make a statement to your mother.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

"But the point is, find somebody to love. Everything else is overrated." - HouseofCantor
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21-02-2012, 02:06 PM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
You could just go for full-on excommunication. Show up at mass in a devil costume and speak in satanic tongues or something. Much more dramatic Smile

In all seriousness, I probably wouldn't worry about it too much. Don't get yourself into a pattern of going around trying to stir up trouble for no other reason than principle. Save it for more pressing matters.
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21-02-2012, 08:36 PM
RE: Apostasy: to do or not to do?
Wow..sounds like you are on a warpath and the first casualties are your parents.
I see nothing wrong with wanting your name removed from the baptism book but as for the rest, why would you want to go out to deliberately stir a hornets nest?

You want to sever all ties with your mom simply because of religious beliefs? Sorry kiddo but that is not cool at all.
I don't like the religious hypocrisy my dad has taken to and sure, I resent his harping on me but I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to hurt him or his wife because I choose my own beliefs.

I think there might be other issues here and you might be using the religion thing as a rationale for venting your anger, especially at your mom.

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To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange.
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