Apparently, I'm evil no matter what!
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06-12-2014, 10:03 PM
RE: Apparently, I'm evil no matter what!
(06-12-2014 09:50 PM)pablo Wrote:  I try to resist being a dick when possible.
That being said, after reading your previous posts, I can't help wondering why people take an almost immediate disliking to you.
You seem to be the common denominator in all your bad interactions with other humans.
Perhaps an introspective look is in order.

Lienda has a lot to deal with. I think that she comes here to vent, which is great. Though she says she has communication issues, I think she often does very well here and is often quite enjoyable.

Sounds like she is having a rough time lately. I look forward to hearing from her and I miss and worry about her when she is absent.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. -JF
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07-12-2014, 12:38 AM
RE: Apparently, I'm evil no matter what!
Lienda, after an introspective look at myself, I owe you an apology for being so quick to judge you.
I sincerely hope things start looking better for you in the very near future.

I've just recently grown rudimentary legs and made the move from water to land.
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07-12-2014, 03:55 AM
RE: Apparently, I'm evil no matter what!
It strikes me that you may have a problem asserting yourself Lienda.

How people treat you is also partially determined by how you treat yourself. It can make for a vicious cycle because if you have low self esteem then people can treat you like dirt. Some of the biggest bullies get the most respect sometimes. People won't respect you if you don't respect yourself.

People realise when they can get away with things and when they can't. For example when you went to Houston 15 minutes early. You could have kicked up a real fuss over it rather than accept it. If you had initially been far more assertive then they would not have treated you that way.

As an example, one of the IT guys at a Computer Science department I worked at used to use whatever methods he could that he was better than everyone else. It seems a common characteristic of some IT staff to judge others on how well they understand computers even though it's not their job. It was worse for this guy who was surrounded by computer scientists far more qualified than he was. And this IT guy would often moan, make many objections about the system and get carried away. He would be extremely condescending about any question that was poorly framed. I just put up with it because I enjoyed my time in the department and didn't want to ruin my time there for an occasional unpleasant few minutes once ain a blue moon. That was a mistake.

But then one day I needed to do a presentation. I forgot my laptop but had the presentation on a USB stick so I had to borrow the department laptop. When I told this to the IT guy he started criticising me for forgetting my laptop even though there was no expectation that I would have one. He told me he just couldn't believe that someone could forget my own laptop and used extremely condescending terms. The problem was that at the time I was completely mentally exhausted. I had been working every hour of every day for the last month and was barely functioning as a human being so I didn't argue back. But afterwards it really annoyed me. The more I thought about it the more angry I was at how he had talked to me.

I decided that he had crossed the line and that I was not going to give him any more chances to be a condescending bully again. So every time I spoke to him I was mentally prepared to slap him down. But unfortunately he picked up on that and never gave me trouble again. I think because I would go into his department and assertively tell him what I needed rather while looking at him straight in the eye. I could see him eyeing me up wondering what he could get away and realising that he had better just do as I say without any sarcastic comments.

That pissed me off even more as I wanted to have a go at him. I haven't forgotten though if I ever return to that department.
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