Apparently men are happier with attractive women
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10-12-2013, 05:36 PM
Apparently men are happier with attractive women
I don't know if anyone has come across the HuffPo article which said that men whose wives they find attractive are generally happier than those whose wives they don't consider attractive, whereas for women, it doesn't seem to matter as much, meaning that her husband's perceived attractiveness level has less of an effect on her happiness. In other words, men are apparently happier in their marriages if their wives are attractive to them. Men care about looks more than women do. 450 newlywed couples were tracked over a period of 4 years.

When I read it, it bothered me, for several reasons.

Attraction is highly subjective, which makes the study meaningless.

The study was done over just 4 years, which I don't think is long enough, and therefore I don't feel that the results are accurate. Perhaps if they had done it over 10, maybe 15 years it could have some validity, but even so, the premise is that a woman's looks are an important factor in a man's happiness, so probably not.

It objectifies women.

It reinforces the gender stereotype that women aren't supposed to care about men's physical attractiveness, when in fact they often do. Some women may be open to a man of average looks if he has a decent personality, but does that mean that women don't care at all about a man's looks? Why shouldn't she?

It implies that women don't care about chemistry (of which physical attraction is often a key part). Chemistry is important, but the study seems to be saying that only men care about it.

It perpetuates the idea in society that men are superficial and shallow, as though the way his wife looks would make any significant difference to him.

The belief (stereotype) that women are supposed to be deeper than men is reinforced, when in fact many women are shallow, and don't live up the the stereotype of being sugar, spice and all things nice, nor should they. I think all stereotypes are damaging, whether they are lived up to or not. I know loads of women who won't date a guy unless he has a certain look, not that that's a good thing, but neither is the stereotype that they must behave according to gender norms.

Women nowadays have thankfully broken away from a lot of stereotypes, but this study seems like a step backwards since it puts pressure on women to preoccupy themselves even more on how they look to a man.

It places far too much importance on looking good for a man, or indeed staying with a man.

Lastly, it's not exactly news of the century. I mean, who doesn't like to be with someone that is subjectively attractive to themselves?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/19...99002.html
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10-12-2013, 06:06 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
Quote:I mean, who doesn't like to be with someone that is subjectively attractive to themselves?

Sooooo....you bitch about the results of the study only to agree with it at the end? Consider

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10-12-2013, 06:09 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
(10-12-2013 06:06 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  
Quote:I mean, who doesn't like to be with someone that is subjectively attractive to themselves?

Sooooo....you bitch about the results of the study only to agree with it at the end? Consider

No, it's not that. What I disagree with is the idea that men have the monopoly on being happier or more fulfilled by the other person's attractiveness. The study is saying that attractiveness matters more to men than it does to women, and that just sounds like patriarchal nonsense to me. This isn't the 1950's, we're all equal, women are just as driven by male attractiveness as men are to women's.
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10-12-2013, 06:16 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
So you are saying that the report says that us guys have hidden shallows?

Yup, guilty as charged.

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10-12-2013, 06:18 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
Sorry, but my reaction is "Well, duh." Dodgy

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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10-12-2013, 06:19 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
(10-12-2013 06:09 PM)Kavos Wrote:  
(10-12-2013 06:06 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  Sooooo....you bitch about the results of the study only to agree with it at the end? Consider

No, it's not that. What I disagree with is the idea that men have the monopoly on being happier or more fulfilled by the other person's attractiveness. The study is saying that attractiveness matters more to men than it does to women, and that just sounds like patriarchal nonsense to me. This isn't the 1950's, we're all equal, women are just as driven by male attractiveness as men are to women's.
I've been very attracted to men who aren't conventionally good looking. A good sense of humor, charm, and confidence will get me every time! Hubba hubba!
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10-12-2013, 06:33 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
(10-12-2013 06:09 PM)Kavos Wrote:  
(10-12-2013 06:06 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  Sooooo....you bitch about the results of the study only to agree with it at the end? Consider

No, it's not that. What I disagree with is the idea that men have the monopoly on being happier or more fulfilled by the other person's attractiveness. The study is saying that attractiveness matters more to men than it does to women, and that just sounds like patriarchal nonsense to me. This isn't the 1950's, we're all equal, women are just as driven by male attractiveness as men are to women's.

I'm not gonna lie to you, I was expecting patriarchy to come up. Big Grin

Listen, being equal doesn't necessarily mean that men and women have to find the same things attractive in their partners. Maybe my wife is being happier and more fulfilled by my sense of humor, rather then my looks.

Nobody has any objections to women being driven by male attractiveness ( unless you count imaginary enemies like "the patriarchy Evil_monster " ).

Unless you insist on telling people what should make them happy and fulfilled, why do you care?

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10-12-2013, 06:41 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
(10-12-2013 06:19 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  ...
I've been very attracted to men who aren't conventionally good looking. A good sense of humor, charm, and confidence will get me every time! Hubba hubba!

Form a queue please gentlemen... an orderly queue!

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10-12-2013, 06:47 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
(10-12-2013 05:36 PM)Kavos Wrote:  When I read it, it bothered me, for several reasons.

Attraction is highly subjective, which makes the study meaningless.

And how does one measure "Happy", exactly? Further meaninglessness, says I! Stuff and nonsense! Bloody evo-psych in disguise!

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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10-12-2013, 06:48 PM
RE: Apparently men are happier with attractive women
(10-12-2013 06:41 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(10-12-2013 06:19 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  ...
I've been very attracted to men who aren't conventionally good looking. A good sense of humor, charm, and confidence will get me every time! Hubba hubba!

Form a queue please gentlemen... an orderly queue!

Confused. Is this the queue for the gentlemen to court Smercury44, or DLJ?

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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