Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
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26-04-2017, 04:01 AM
RE: Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
(25-04-2017 11:05 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Yip, the worst part about children (apart from the "ohhh you'll change your mind and have children later" bullshit people preach) is the parents. Or should I say, the lack of parenting.

My sister's husband is now deceased and she is retired. And their two undisciplined sons are now in their late twenties and are both still living with her after barely making it through high school years ago. While I have heard that isn't so unusual these days, my sister and her husband didn't do their sons any favors.
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26-04-2017, 04:46 AM
RE: Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
(26-04-2017 04:01 AM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  
(25-04-2017 11:05 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Yip, the worst part about children (apart from the "ohhh you'll change your mind and have children later" bullshit people preach) is the parents. Or should I say, the lack of parenting.

My sister's husband is now deceased and she is retired. And their two undisciplined sons are now in their late twenties and are both still living with her after barely making it through high school years ago. While I have heard that isn't so unusual these days, my sister and her husband didn't do their sons any favors.

I do not get people that never left home. It's so cringy. I couldn't wait to get the fuck out and do my own thing. And I don't get parents that let their kids stay at home till they're like 30. Like you say, they're doing them zero favors by allowing it. They're only gonna have a harder time of it when they do eventually have to live out on their own.

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26-04-2017, 04:52 AM
RE: Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
I was actively brought up to believe that you get a job to earn money, and you get out ASAP lol. As soon as I hit 18 I was out the door and living on my own, I even left my home town for a while as well.

It's also the reason I didn't go to university, as my dad bluntly put it: "when you finish Uni, you'll be in debt and still living with your mum at 25...and that's not cool is it?" lol. I went straight out into the work force and worked my way up the ranks the hard way.

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26-04-2017, 05:44 AM
RE: Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
(29-03-2017 08:18 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  
(23-03-2017 05:53 PM)SYZ Wrote:  I'm not and never have been kid-friendly either, and I hate them touching me with their moist, grubby little hands too.

I'm curious why you think this is? Negative childhood experiences? A general germ-phobia...

Nope. I had a very conservative and supportive childhood, along with one younger male sibling who I played well with. No childhood trauma or parental abuse, and a great relationship with my father, who was a professional engineer.

I'd guess I'm no more phobic about cleanliness than the average bloke, but my kitchen and bathrooms and toilets I always keep spotless and disinfect regularly.

But little kids invariably have dirty, sticky hands that they wanna paw you with whenever they're within touching distance. Plus the fact that they're generally grubby, overly noisy, disobedient, thoughtless, self-entitled, inarticulate, impolite... etc. In other words, all the things young adults are constantly criticised for lacking. But somehow—for some unknown reason—we as adults are expected to tolerate/ignore/accept this plethora of social shortcomings with young children, as though the entire planet revolves around them.

And me and my (then) wife decided very early in our marriage that we didn't want kids. We preferred to spend our money on ourselves and buy houses and cars, and travel the world.

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26-04-2017, 05:57 AM
RE: Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
(22-03-2017 09:19 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  I have a daughter, who's 7, and I'll tell you something that I believe most parents will agree with...

...kids are both the best thing ever, and annoying as hell. The only parents I ever see who overprotect their kids, are the ones who are vocal about it. The amount of times my own daughter has driven me to the edge of insanity, lets just say it's a lot. That being said, I tell my daughter she can do anything/be anything she wants, as long as she puts the work in.

I think those that say otherwise, and effectively worship their kids are idiots of the highest order.

Humans are born by the millions worldwide every year. While kids can be raised to be good their birth as individuals should not be viewed as that birth being the center of the planet. Yes parents love their children, evolution drives most parents to care for their children, if evolution didn't do that, life would not continue, we have primate cousins that behave in the same manor. But even alligators and lionesses protect their young.

That does not mean because you like kids and want kids everyone should have them or want them. I have had friends and co workers ask me why I am single and I tell them flat out, I don't want kids. There is no right or wrong. But I do hate how religion sells marriage and kids as a cure for everything, the problem with most of the time it does not teach the kid life planning or knowing their own comfort levels, then kids, both boys and girls get raised with bullshit utopias of "forever" which sets the relationship up for failure because that marriage isn't teaching them problem solving and good communication skills or life planning.

You don't just simply have a kid. You can love your kid sure, but you don't have one just because. I don't want one and I hate being looked at like I committed a crime for thinking for myself and knowing my comfort level.

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26-04-2017, 05:58 AM
Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
(26-04-2017 05:44 AM)SYZ Wrote:  
(29-03-2017 08:18 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  I'm curious why you think this is? Negative childhood experiences? A general germ-phobia...

Nope. I had a very conservative and supportive childhood, along with one younger male sibling who I played well with. No childhood trauma or parental abuse, and a great relationship with my father, who was a professional engineer.

I'd guess I'm no more phobic about cleanliness than the average bloke, but my kitchen and bathrooms and toilets I always keep spotless and disinfect regularly.

But little kids invariably have dirty, sticky hands that they wanna paw you with whenever they're within touching distance. Plus the fact that they're generally grubby, overly noisy, disobedient, thoughtless, self-entitled, inarticulate, impolite... etc. In other words, all the things young adults are constantly criticised for lacking. But somehow—for some unknown reason—we as adults are expected to tolerate/ignore/accept this plethora of social shortcomings with young children, as though the entire planet revolves around them.

And me and my (then) wife decided very early in our marriage that we didn't want kids. We preferred to spend our money on ourselves and buy houses and cars, and travel the world.


You wouldn't tie this aversion to any particular environmental factors? Parental upbringing, even if not abusive. Perhaps a mother who was averse to children, like yourself, but had them anyways?Or even non-parental environmental factors, perhaps in early devolvement?

Or would you consider it a genetic disposition you were born with? Or perhaps primarily environmental factors that you have a hard time narrowing it down too?

I apologize if I'm prying, I've always been curious about these subjects, and the role of our upbringings in shaping us.





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26-04-2017, 07:25 AM
RE: Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
I don't dislike kids, but I do find them intrusive. Probably because they are not mine. People feel differently about their own kids.

I never wanted kids, I wanted to travel and have a career. I never heard a ticking clock, it wasn't even on my radar. Add in that I don't think this world needs more people. I did have the "nesting" instinct and built a nice small house. I "mother" some elderly folks and I always have dogs.

Kids cost a fortune in money and time. I know older people who are heartbroken because they spent all their time, energy and money to raise kids who now ignore them.

I just don't get what the magic about kids is. I suppose for most it's a base instinct. I don't have it.

It's funny, people pity me because I was "barren". I feel sorry for them sitting by the phone waiting for calls that never come.

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26-04-2017, 09:57 AM
RE: Are Children Overprotected or Over Idolized?
(26-04-2017 07:25 AM)Dom Wrote:  I just don't get what the magic about kids is. I suppose for most it's a base instinct. I don't have it.

It's funny, people pity me because I was "barren". I feel sorry for them sitting by the phone waiting for calls that never come.

I think this is yet another case where people's instincts haven't kept up with changing times. The kids have to move around a lot to stay employed these days, which almost always results in diminished family ties. Sad but true.
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