Are You Ordained?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
21-03-2016, 06:37 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
(19-03-2016 02:45 PM)jabeady Wrote:  In what "church"? If so, have you read your holy book?

Like, I'm ordained in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but I haven't read all of the book. I know I'm supposed to say "Arrrgghh!" a lot, and I *might* be able to perform marriages, but that's about it.

I am thrice ordained. SO what I carry two passports too legally. I was born in Panama and both parents were American citizens. I was first ordained in college and paid five bucks to become so ordained and signed a paper saying I believed what I believed and I would try to live up to it, then I became ordained as a Universal Life Minister and actually registered that with the county in Indiana and hung out a shingle for a short while to do counselling. Didn't make much money at it, but it was fun. And just this week I became a Dudist Minister, gotta start an offshoot and be a Nudist Dudist.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-03-2016, 06:51 PM (This post was last modified: 21-03-2016 06:54 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Are You Ordained?
Have you ever been ordained?




#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes GirlyMan's post
21-03-2016, 07:35 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
Ordained in the Church of the FSM and as a Dudeist priest.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Chas's post
21-03-2016, 07:42 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
(21-03-2016 07:35 PM)Chas Wrote:  Ordained in the Church of the FSM and as a Dudeist priest.
I swore you were going to be the high priest. What happened?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-03-2016, 07:53 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
(21-03-2016 07:42 PM)jason_delisle Wrote:  
(21-03-2016 07:35 PM)Chas Wrote:  Ordained in the Church of the FSM and as a Dudeist priest.
I swore you were going to be the high priest. What happened?

I didn't like the hours. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Chas's post
21-03-2016, 09:50 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
(21-03-2016 07:53 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(21-03-2016 07:42 PM)jason_delisle Wrote:  I swore you were going to be the high priest. What happened?

I didn't like the hours. Drinking Beverage

I though it was the funny hat.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-03-2016, 11:24 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
(20-03-2016 08:24 PM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  
(19-03-2016 02:45 PM)jabeady Wrote:  In what "church"? If so, have you read your holy book?

Like, I'm ordained in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but I haven't read all of the book. I know I'm supposed to say "Arrrgghh!" a lot, and I *might* be able to perform marriages, but that's about it.

Southern baptist.

Southern baptist are big on god speaking through children. I was ordained at a young age (14yo) and participated in teachings, sunday school lessons, and even gave witness at revivals. Nothing rallies those infected with faith like a child talking to them from the pulpit about their relationship with christ. Disgusts me now looking back at it. I even told outright lies about feeling jesus in my soul, and hearing god whisper to me...they ate it up like candy. it was an empowering experience, the more they were enthralled, the wilder my experiences became....I see now how it is easy to suckle at the tit of mankinds utter gullibility to basic persuasion techniques for personal financial gain. Every time I see Joel Osteen's creepy fucking smile I shudder, and wonder how they can look at his face, listen to his words and not have an instant gag reflex...and realize he is milking them for every penny he can...


[Image: es6oib.jpg]


Laugh out load That Joel Osteen quote reminds me of................

[Image: jesus-use-me.jpg]


Rolleyes

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like dancefortwo's post
22-03-2016, 10:00 AM
RE: Are You Ordained?
(21-03-2016 11:24 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(20-03-2016 08:24 PM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  Southern baptist.

Southern baptist are big on god speaking through children. I was ordained at a young age (14yo) and participated in teachings, sunday school lessons, and even gave witness at revivals. Nothing rallies those infected with faith like a child talking to them from the pulpit about their relationship with christ. Disgusts me now looking back at it. I even told outright lies about feeling jesus in my soul, and hearing god whisper to me...they ate it up like candy. it was an empowering experience, the more they were enthralled, the wilder my experiences became....I see now how it is easy to suckle at the tit of mankinds utter gullibility to basic persuasion techniques for personal financial gain. Every time I see Joel Osteen's creepy fucking smile I shudder, and wonder how they can look at his face, listen to his words and not have an instant gag reflex...and realize he is milking them for every penny he can...


[Image: es6oib.jpg]


Laugh out load That Joel Osteen quote reminds me of................

[Image: jesus-use-me.jpg]


Rolleyes

oh my...walking birth control in triplicate

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-03-2016, 12:13 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
(21-03-2016 09:50 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(21-03-2016 07:53 PM)Chas Wrote:  I didn't like the hours. Drinking Beverage

I though it was the funny hat.

Well, yeah, but I didn't want to be thought of as a fashionista. No

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-03-2016, 09:49 PM
RE: Are You Ordained?
Almost got a quickie internet ordination from, I believe, it was the Universal Life Church, which claimed valid ordinations backed by legal cases. The reason was, that I wasn't sure my cousin's Baptist minister was going to show to her wedding after the whole, "Hey I can't make the rehearsal, this high school football game is an important pre-existing obligation."

(21-03-2016 11:24 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  *snip*
That hair will haunt my sleep tonight.

Need to think of a witty signature.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Shai Hulud's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: