Are you afraid of love?
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06-09-2014, 09:34 PM
RE: Are you afraid of love?
(06-09-2014 09:25 PM)Logisch Wrote:  Eeeek yeah the cringe is strong there. I think some people have a very hard time getting over people. Some people can learn from the past and move on, and I think others have a very hard time with the emotional attachment. Sounds like a rebound situation to me. Who knows, perhaps later on he'll have time to come to grips with his situation and be ready for it. Just make sure if you run that you bring some of the Japanese food with you!

"Is that for here or to go?"
"I GOTTA RUNNNNN!"

Laugh out load

Maybe it's wise to just conduct first dates over the phone. If it starts going south, just hang up. No gas. No picking out what to wear. No one is stuck with a bill.

What do u think? UnsureLaugh out load

Be true to yourself. Heart
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06-09-2014, 09:37 PM
RE: Are you afraid of love?
LOL yes, make it 20 questions. You could conduct a phone interview and then have a ratio of questions answered vs ex mentioned. If the ratio is anything less than 1, they win a second date.

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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06-09-2014, 09:40 PM
RE: Are you afraid of love?
lol @ win

wow, this thread derailed.............. Laugh out load

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06-09-2014, 11:42 PM
RE: Are you afraid of love?
Afraid? Nah, never been. I'm afraid of not being in love. I think that explains all of my failed relationships before. I would hesitate to call them failed relationships, but rather informative trial runs.

I don't know what we've done right, but so far both of us are still here together after a decade. I don't think it's any magical formula of love, but more or less the fact that we both view the world through the same lense. Over the last ten years, we've been able to change in the same way and agree on the same things.

If I had to venture a guess I'd say that communication is key. My wife and I don't discuss a whole lot, but we seem to see eye to eye on almost every situation.

Guess we got lucky??

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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07-09-2014, 12:48 AM
RE: Are you afraid of love?
(06-09-2014 09:01 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I had a guy ask me where I saw the relationship going after a first date one time. That was creepy enough Tongue

Holy cow that IS creepy as hell. Gasp

I'd have been like.....

[Image: do-not-want118.gif]

Laugh out loadLaugh out loadLaugh out load

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. ~Mark Twain
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07-09-2014, 01:20 AM
RE: Are you afraid of love?
(02-09-2014 07:48 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  14 years. OMG. My relationships with those two assholes were short in duration, but the damage they did has lasted for a long time.

I cannot imagine 14 years. I used to judge women who stayed you know? But when it happens to you, and you find yourself in this nightmare that you can't wake up from, you regret ever judging. I grew up in an abusive home. Seeing a pattern here? Lol And after those two relationships were over, I realized that my idea of love is skewed. Those two guys felt familiar to me. The recent ex bf that I broke up with a few weeks ago, he is a dream but I'm not used to dreams. I'm used to jerks, as that's what I grew up with.

You know, I have guy friends and they say...why do women choose bad guys over nice guys? It's not fair, etc... (not all women do this however)

And I often say that it's because that is all they think they deserve. Sad

Anyway, you are strong and your story is inspiring. 14 years. I just want to hug you. Thank youuu!

I'm happy that you're free!

Thank you. I am happy too!

He put up a good "loving" front for a long time, and the abuse came on gradually. I left him a couple times, but narcissists excel at charming you right back. When I left, or rather escaped him for good, it was out of pure fear. He had turned crazy on the kids and I. Rambled about demons surrounding our house, inside and out, and ick a bunch of other junk.

The other major problem was being a christian, and told time after time, by our pastor, to keep working at it. Dodgy I have since advised anyone considering talking to a pastor regarding marriage counseling to run the other way.

I am not even remotely the woman that married him many years ago. Got some amazing counseling. I have dated, but they never lead to anything. Last man I met and dated was because he moved in right-next-door. Handsome and divorced. One date and I knew he was a jackass. I was nice about it though. He liked me a lot and wanted it to go further, but I deserve better. He's still next door Rolleyes and has asked me out a couple times since, but well? he's still a jackass. Laughat

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. ~Mark Twain
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07-09-2014, 04:11 AM
RE: Are you afraid of love?
(07-09-2014 12:48 AM)CindysRain Wrote:  
(06-09-2014 09:01 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I had a guy ask me where I saw the relationship going after a first date one time. That was creepy enough Tongue

Holy cow that IS creepy as hell. Gasp

I'd have been like.....

[Image: do-not-want118.gif]

Laugh out loadLaugh out loadLaugh out load

Yep. I do believe my answer was "Nowhere now"
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