Poll: Are you out or in the closet?
I am completely in the closet
I am out to one person only.
I am out to a few people.
I am out in my private life, but not at work.
I am out at work but not to my family.
I come out when asked.
I shout it from the roof tops.
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Are you out or in the closet?
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24-04-2017, 06:58 PM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
just check my facebook page... lol...

"It says you have to be saved in order to go to heaven. The way I see it, you only have to be yourself to go to hell!" - Marilyn Manson, Copps Collesium, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. (1997)

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05-05-2017, 09:42 PM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
I give a round-about agnostic answer designed to make all the Bible-thumpers around me a little more comfortable (I'm considerate like that.)

I do fantasize about pushing my atheism on everyone and assuming everyone believes what I believe and shunning them if they express anything that varies from my very limited and biased view- but that's really just for my own internal entertainment. I am respectful of everyone's right to believe what they want to.

In a way I do envy those that can "have faith" in religious theories. It would be nice to imagine a light at the end of this dark tunnel we call life. The great nothing is much more difficult to face. To me it equates to- I am small and meaningless in the great scheme of things. I know this to be true, although not fun to think about. No, I do not have major depression, I'm not "cutting" as I type, I don't live my life as though it doesn't matter.

I work hard and am successful in my career and relationship, I am pleasant and kind, and I'm generally the best that I can be. Underneath that, I still understand that I'm insignificant. Atheism to me is accepting that but still trying to make a positive impact. Even if that impact is just me not screwing up someone else's insignificant life through bad parenting or reckless behavior.
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06-05-2017, 03:49 AM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
(05-05-2017 09:42 PM)KPulice Wrote:  I do fantasize about pushing my atheism on everyone and assuming everyone believes what I believe and shunning them if they express anything that varies from my very limited and biased view- but that's really just for my own internal entertainment. I am respectful of everyone's right to believe what they want to.

"Coming out" is not about browbeating people, but about being honest. People don't have a "right to believe" that atheists are horrible people if it just isn't true.

The "light at the end of this dark tunnel we call life", according to many religious people, is an eternity in hell. That's not quite so uplifting as nothingness. Nor is even the idea of an eternity in heaven just for believing some nonsense.

Don't sell yourself short.
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06-05-2017, 02:58 PM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
I never made any fuss about it...except on the back of my van. My kids sort of outed me in the small town we live way outside of, when they admitted that our family does not go to church and that they didn't know this Jesus fellow.

People with whom I was friends enough to have conversations about such stuff refused to believe me, but now many of them are dead and I am 20 years older.

I tell people with whom I am close because they are often very xian and some conversations get involved....and I feel they should know just where I am coming from. They generally take it well...still some denial of the actual ability of my being a non-believer.

Never sure what it was they expected...

I really don't care what people think about me, but I do have to "alter" my stance for the sake of politics because of my husband. He just fudges/lies on the whole matter, cuz people are funny-wierd about their elected officials.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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06-05-2017, 03:05 PM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
(11-07-2016 07:14 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Hmm

I am sorta out, a few people know. I'm out here. Tongue

But I don't advertise it either. Oh fb I said under "religious views" I put "secular humanist".

You will like this story, I hope.

My eldest and I were at Johns Hopkins for his allergy testing many years ago and the papers asked for our religious preference. I wrote "none."

The clerk called me up a few minutes later with a perplexed look on her face and asked me, "Do you mean Catholic?" It was my turn to look perplexed, so she said, "You know, the one with the nuns?"

I just said no that I meant that we had no religious beliefs. As I sat down, I wasn't sure if I should have been insulted that she thought I did not know my own religious faith or that I couldn't spell.

This is a true story.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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08-05-2017, 10:14 PM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
I'm out as an atheist and have been for several years. Because of the negative associations attached to atheism I initially self-identified as an agnostic. Gradually, I began to realize that all of the negative associations I held were from Church teachings and had no basis in reality. These negative associations prevented me from appreciating people like Dawkins, Dennett, and Matt Dillahunty. I still don't agree with Dawkins on every issue, but it's hard not to like him when he talks within his area of expertise.

I had an interesting moment with my mom last week. She was dismayed that I was calling myself an atheist and told me that she preferred the term agnostic. She also pleaded that I don't post anything to Facebook regarding my atheism; it might upset my fundamentalist aunt, after all. In my mom's mind, saying that I worshipped the devil would have been easier to swallow. Weirdly, she's not that devout herself (she hasn't been to a church service in 5 years). After hearing her misunderstanding, I introduced her to the agnostic/gnostic atheist/theist diagram to clear some things up and explain my agnostic-atheist position. She pointed out that she was actually an agnostic theist.

For me, that was eye opening. The negative associations are deeply entrenched in our culture. I think that one of the best ways to break these negative associations attached to atheism is to be more vocal about it. It's easier to demonize a group of people if you aren't familiar with anyone from that group.

Fortunately, I'm in the position where I don't have to bend to my mom's wishes. I'll call myself what I am and I won't curate my Facebook posts to my aunt's tastes. I love my mom, but she'll just have to get used to it.

On a lighter note, I had an embarrassing moment last week where I realized that I hadn't changed my quotes section on Facebook since before my deconversion. Most of them were from High School... Fortunately, nothing too silly was on there! I ended up deleting all of them. I no longer feel the need to parrot smart sounding quotes; If I have an opinion, I'll use my own words.
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09-05-2017, 06:18 AM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
Hi OA.

Agnostic is a bad word in certain circles. In my early years debating on American Atheist Chat, I was accused of being an agnostic and threatened with being ejected from the group. It was only through the comments of its then president, Frank Zindler, that the moderator yielded and kept me among them even though she still felt my compassion for a hypothetical dying young Christian was misplaced in an atheist and was, therefore, suspect.

I left the group a few months after this all went down and lost much respect for AA.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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10-05-2017, 12:57 AM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
(09-05-2017 06:18 AM)Jeanne Wrote:  Hi OA.

Agnostic is a bad word in certain circles. In my early years debating on American Atheist Chat, I was accused of being an agnostic and threatened with being ejected from the group. It was only through the comments of its then president, Frank Zindler, that the moderator yielded and kept me among them even though she still felt my compassion for a hypothetical dying young Christian was misplaced in an atheist and was, therefore, suspect.

I left the group a few months after this all went down and lost much respect for AA.

-Jeanne

Blink That seems really bizarre to me. On their official website, that group defines atheism as the lack of belief in Gods. That stance is completely compatible with agnosticism, so I don't know how they could eject you from the group (or even the chatroom) on the basis of being an agnostic.
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10-05-2017, 05:53 AM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
Indeed, it left a bad taste in my mouth. This was a long time ago, so maybe they are less rabid in the belief of their own perfection.

But... they may still be just as dogmatic as any other evangelical group.

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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10-05-2017, 09:00 PM
RE: Are you out or in the closet?
I'm both "out to a few people" and I "come out when asked." People ask surprisingly seldom though.

My family never addresses the issue directly but they've gotta know by now..
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