Are you too horny for God?
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10-12-2014, 08:26 AM
Are you too horny for God?
You probably are, you filthy heathens.

This extremely educational article wafted across my Facebook feed like the hellish aftermath of a midnight Taco Bell trip.

http://theresponsechurch.com/i-kept-my-v...-my-purity

Just so you know, merely abstaining is no longer enough for god. He wants to be sure you aren't kissing laying down, because when you make out you're basically just summoning Satan. Only kiss standing up now, lest you get too aroused and feel encouraged to do "the sex" which, by the way, god specifically made.

Seriously, what is the reasoning behind this? Can people really skim through ALL of the sex in the Bible and just conclude that "nope, god doesn't want me doing the sex."

Out of everything that's going on in the world, ebola, ISIS, you name it, is god's biggest concern making sure I don't do the hanky panky?

Bonus points if you can read it without cringing.

It's bad.
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10-12-2014, 08:33 AM (This post was last modified: 10-12-2014 08:49 AM by unfogged.)
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 08:26 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  Seriously, what is the reasoning behind this?

1. Make people believe something that is natural and pleasurable is a sin
2. People engage in the act and feel guilty about it
3. Offer forgiveness [ETA: for compensation]
4. Profit (money/power/control/whatever)

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
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10-12-2014, 08:37 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 08:33 AM)unfogged Wrote:  
(10-12-2014 08:26 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  Seriously, what is the reasoning behind this?

1. Make people believe something that is natural and pleasurable is a sin

Definitely. I remember back when I was still a religious knob, I had this thing where basically any time I was really happy, I would remember that everything that was making me happy (girlfriend, sex, video games, whatever) was probably against god's will for me, and I would just immediately drop into a horrible depressed/anxious state. It was the worst thing ever. Even now that I've been free of it for a little over a year, I still sometimes get a little pang of anxiety whenever I realize that I'm content, because I'm still subconsciously expecting that drop into being the sad.
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10-12-2014, 08:48 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
Quote:I asked her what she intended to say to him about how they will protect their purity.

I'm already cringing. Seriously? If someone asked me this now, I'd tell them to mind their own fucking business. Busybody.

Quote:Purity is not a choice. It is an instruction from God.

Oh okay. LOL Dodgy

Quote: It is natural to be stimulated or aroused by the sights, sounds, touch, or even smells of one another.

You mean the STANK of one another.



"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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10-12-2014, 08:51 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
Since god is defined locally as Gwyneth Paltrow, I sure hope not. Heart

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10-12-2014, 09:01 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 08:48 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
Quote:I asked her what she intended to say to him about how they will protect their purity.

I'm already cringing. Seriously? If someone asked me this now, I'd tell them to mind their own fucking business. Busybody.

Yes. This. If someone ever said that to me... oh man. I can't even.
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10-12-2014, 10:17 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
Who comes up with these rules for proper purity? I really don't get how people can be so stupid. If "god" didn't want us to enjoy sex, then why would "god" have made it pleasurable? "God" could have made an attraction trait to facilitate procreation without making the sex itself pleasurable. So none of this makes sense even from a religious perspective.

Pretty soon these nutjobs are going to be saying:
God wants you to think only of his greatness. Doing anything else at any time is sinful. Rolleyes

I am not accountable to any God. I am accountable to myself - and not because I think I am God as some theists would try to assert - but because, no matter what actions I take, thoughts I think, or words I utter, I have to be able to live with myself.
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10-12-2014, 02:49 PM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 08:26 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  He wants to be sure you aren't kissing laying down, because when you make out you're basically just summoning Satan. Only kiss standing up now, lest you get too aroused and feel encouraged to do "the sex" which, by the way, god specifically made.

I wonder how he feels about all the times I made out with my wife standing up and then proceeded to have sex... standing up? Did God not design standing sex, or is this just another bit of oversight from poorly thought out theology?
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10-12-2014, 03:35 PM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
Sex may well be our most addictive substance....
Pity Jesus didn't place more emphasis on war,racism,greed,fanaticism, and stupidity to name a few.....Angel
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10-12-2014, 03:52 PM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 10:17 AM)Impulse Wrote:  Who comes up with these rules for proper purity? I really don't get how people can be so stupid. If "god" didn't want us to enjoy sex, then why would "god" have made it pleasurable? "God" could have made an attraction trait to facilitate procreation without making the sex itself pleasurable. So none of this makes sense even from a religious perspective.

Pretty soon these nutjobs are going to be saying:
God wants you to think only of his greatness. Doing anything else at any time is sinful. Rolleyes

Exactly. He could have made us like the Praying Mantis, the horny couple has sex and then she rips his head off and eats him. That would give me pause for having "the sex".

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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