Are you too horny for God?
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10-12-2014, 08:31 PM (This post was last modified: 10-12-2014 08:35 PM by TheGulegon.)
RE: Are you too horny for God?
This thread could have been SO much more awesome! Dodgy
Tongue
I've known some christians to completely disregard the "purity" thing! Laugh out load
I coulda been knee ____ DEEP in preacher's daughters if I hadn't been such a "good" boy! Weeping

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10-12-2014, 08:59 PM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
"Thanks for being open and transluscent with the word." Laughat
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11-12-2014, 01:40 AM (This post was last modified: 11-12-2014 01:43 AM by Nurse.)
RE: Are you too horny for God?
Quote:Sexual abstinence is good, but your purity is NOT defined by your abstinence. It goes all the way back to the heart of the matter. Before you were kissing, before you were holding hands, before you were flirting – What were your intentions? What were you thinking about? What was your flesh saying? What were your desires?

WTF do you think?! So a person is supposed to not think about sex, have no intentions for sex, get married from some higher calling "oh that's the one" and then suddenly once that ring is on the left finger and you say "I do" that god will suddenly gift the two of you to have boners for each other? Give me a fucking break.

You think he's cute and charming, you hope he finds you pretty and could be thinking of you outside of the friend zone, you spray on your Coco Chanel hoping he likes it as much as you like his Polo, you wear clothes that flatter your curves but don't give away the goodies to keep him intrigued...... And you hope it ends with an exchange of digits and ultimately swapping body fluids and somewhere in there fuzzy bunnies, love, and a happily ever after.


Ok, Christian girlies. To maintain your purity, find someone that is so fugly that you throw up a little in your mouth A Clockwork Orange style when you envision merely holding their hand. That will ensure you maintain your purity until you marry the poor bastard. Then, it will be your duty as his wife to give yourself unto him sexually as often as he desires, because that's your role as a respectful wife. Enjoy your fugly babies. Hopefully you will breed yourselves out of the gene pool.

[Image: tumblr_mtlo97umGC1rf3wd1o1_500.gif]

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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11-12-2014, 06:55 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 07:08 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Lol I first read "Are you horny for God?" Laugh out load

Holy Spirit, cum come in me.
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11-12-2014, 07:20 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 05:10 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  When I read the thread title I thought that "Are too you horny for God" meant, are you too sexually turned on by god.

Oh Jesus, oh God, you're sooo hot!

Ick. Why did my brain even go there. Blink Dodgy

That's one of my lines - if ya can't whack off to god, yer worshiping the wrong god.

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11-12-2014, 07:31 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 03:52 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(10-12-2014 10:17 AM)Impulse Wrote:  Who comes up with these rules for proper purity? I really don't get how people can be so stupid. If "god" didn't want us to enjoy sex, then why would "god" have made it pleasurable? "God" could have made an attraction trait to facilitate procreation without making the sex itself pleasurable. So none of this makes sense even from a religious perspective.

Pretty soon these nutjobs are going to be saying:
God wants you to think only of his greatness. Doing anything else at any time is sinful. Rolleyes

Exactly. He could have made us like the Praying Mantis, the horny couple has sex and then she rips his head off and eats him. That would give me pause for having "the sex".

Sounds like my ex-wife. Shocking
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11-12-2014, 12:48 PM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
(10-12-2014 05:45 PM)TheInquisition Wrote:  I saw this very argument thirty years ago in the church singles group, this dude figured that god only wanted our thoughts on god 100% of the time.

Facepalm

If that was truly what god wanted, there would probably only be a handful of people making it to heaven... and they would all be delusional schizophrenics who couldn't help, but think of god constantly. Tongue

@DonaldTrump, Patriotism is not honoring your flag no matter what your country/leader does. It's doing whatever it takes to make your country the best it can be as long as its not violent.
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11-12-2014, 02:03 PM (This post was last modified: 11-12-2014 02:14 PM by The Organic Chemist.)
RE: Are you too horny for God?
This wasn't mentioned in the article but I am curious whether anyone else had a conversation like this one before (the topic is sex after all and I don't think a new thread is appropriate).

We all know that passage in Leviticus that says that man shall not lie with man, blah blah. I asked a question one time to a person who was saying that buttsex between men and women was bibically wrong (which I am not aware of anywhere where it says specifically that). I asked that if a man is not to do it to a woman, than if a man does that to another man, that is not as he lies with a woman so therefore how can that be wrong by his logic? If that IS wrong if 2 men do it because he is lying with her as he would with a woman, then how can it be wrong if a man and a woman do it? His answer was that it did not allow for babies so that made it wrong (i.e. the multiply part). I then asked him then having sex outside of ovulation was wrong or if your wife blows you or something else since that did not result in the multiply either. His response was that (I shit you not) "anything other than the vagina is the devil's work and it is really death lurking in the shadows". Facepalm

That planted a silly thought in my mind of Jon Lovitz's SNL devil lurking in the bushes wearing a trench coat and a fedora watching a girl flick the bean through her window. I have no idea where that came from but I am a bit of a weirdo like that.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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11-12-2014, 06:13 PM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
This is why I like Catholicism. We are supposed to find sex pleasurable. It's one of man's two basic desires for God's sake. Although I should point out that many pastors don't seem to get that memo.

I'm homophobic in the same way that I'm arachnophobic. I'm not scared of gay people but I'm going to scream if I find one in my bath.

I'm. Also homophobic in the same way I'm arachnophobic. I'm scared of spiders but I'd still fuck'em.
- my friend Marc
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12-12-2014, 01:12 AM
RE: Are you too horny for God?
I encourage Christians to read that blog. Heck, if we could get them to just stop having sex altogether the world would improve really quickly.
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