As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
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15-01-2012, 05:07 PM
As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?

Well you might think "I'm saved. I believe Jesus is my savior because he said he was and he tells the truth and I believe that because it's in the bible and the bible is true and god is good and I'm saved. Did I mention that I was saved ?"

We have insurance agencies that don't protect you from harm, but they will help you recover from your losses. We have environmental protections to help safeguard the air we breath, the land that can be used for industry and of course lots of personal protections at work in the form of regulations that help to keep you safer in a work environment.

And what protects you from hell ? You're faith, your belief in a guy who died a couple thousand years ago who said "I'm your savior" - "Follow me and you'll be ok"
That's it ? That's your protection from hell ? One guy saying "I'll protect you from god. Just follow me"

But wait, you need protection from god ? Why ?
Oh that's right, because he sends people to hell. And this Jesus guy - he can protect you from God ? That's a lot of faith in one guy - I mean WOW - that's like MEGA-FAITH

Ask yourself this - "Why wouldn't god send me to hell ? I've sinned right. Don't I deserve to be punished in torture for all time, for ever ? Isn't that justice ?

I say it's time to invent the divine insurance protection agency.
For just $49 a month we will help you get out of hell if an act of god should hit you. We know it can be a living nightmare in hell and our fast acting agents will be there on the spot to lift you out of it. Don't you worry. When you have a policy with DIPA (divine insurance protection agency), hell will feel like a dip in a pond instead of an eternity of torture.

Sign up today !!!

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16-01-2012, 08:32 AM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
I don't get the point of this thread.

You're asking ~2 people why they think they aren't going to hell and then satirize "hell insurance". Is that it?

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16-01-2012, 08:43 AM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
(16-01-2012 08:32 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  I don't get the point of this thread.

You're asking ~2 people why they think they aren't going to hell and then satirize "hell insurance". Is that it?

Is JOKE!!!! ROFL LOL etc.

You probably think hell insurance is a waste of money...
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16-01-2012, 08:51 AM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
(16-01-2012 08:43 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(16-01-2012 08:32 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  I don't get the point of this thread.

You're asking ~2 people why they think they aren't going to hell and then satirize "hell insurance". Is that it?

Is JOKE!!!! ROFL LOL etc.

You probably think hell insurance is a waste of money...

Ahhh ok. Sorry, I put on my "srs bzns" face in the Atheism and Theism forum since all of this is supposed to be legit discussion.

And, as you can probably tell, I'm a complete goofball in the This, That, and the Other forum.

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16-01-2012, 01:44 PM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
Not sure if you're aware of this or not but there is a legitimate business out there on the web who does provide a kind of pet insurance for people who believe that they will be raptured and want to make sure that their pets are taken care of if god should call them home. This company is comprised of atheists I believe who are also blasphemers so they are guaranteed to not be taken by god in the rapture. They are also pet owners who live near the people so they can take care of the pets if needed.

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

Besides my post being a bit of satire, it's also there to give some light at the end of the tunnel for anyone who is not completely sure if following Jesus will protect them from God's wrath Big Grin

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16-01-2012, 03:01 PM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
Legitimate business - an oxymoron of an oxymoron.

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16-01-2012, 09:50 PM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
Interesting marketing concept, but you were beaten to market by about 600 years by the Catholic Church when they “invented” purgatory. The way it worked was that they would hear of a recently diseased person. Priests would visit the family and tell them that they loved one was in purgatory, a place like hell, but with one exception, they would eventually get out. With a donation to the church the pope would pray for their release from hell. People paid up sometimes with their life savings. Who could not when their loved one was in hell having the flesh burnt off their bodies continuously with no relief. Needless to say this was a successful program and still exist today, though not openly discussed. Some became proactive leaving large sums of money or land to the church upon their death just for the pergatory prayer reguest.

The old gods are dead, let's invent some new ones before something really bad happens.
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17-01-2012, 12:13 AM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
(16-01-2012 01:44 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  Besides my post being a bit of satire, it's also there...

...in case you wanna give me money for nothing.

Keep it real. Tongue

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17-01-2012, 08:35 AM
RE: As a theist - what makes you think you're not going to hell ?
OOOOOO OOOOO OOOO PICK ME! I KNOW! I KNOW! ................................................................................​.....................................................God?

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