"As long as you don't become an atheist"
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15-03-2014, 08:35 AM
"As long as you don't become an atheist"
I'm pretty sure my dad knows I don't believe, but this was just hilarious. And sad, simultaneously. He wanted to talk to us about reading the bible more and went into why we need to be reading the bible and asking questions. but then he caught himself and said "but the answer will always be faith" and then continued to say how much we need to ask questions. "as long as you don't become an atheist" he said in the end, looking directly at me. I wanted to laugh. Laugh and pack my bags, walking out the door. But I can't do that so yeah, kinda stuck being at home for another year and a half.

Anyone else ever hear those words, "as long as you don't become an atheist?"

It's only a debate if both parties are willing to let each other's opinions change their own.
If you aren't willing to change in light of learning more about what you fight for, what the hell are you doing expecting the other party to want to change?
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15-03-2014, 08:44 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
Hath patience, sayeth the lord.

In the meantime, you have my sympathy.

But asking you to ask questions is a positive thing. Take him up on that offer.

No need to be aggressive just e.g. "what does the bible mean when it says... " etc.

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15-03-2014, 09:16 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
(15-03-2014 08:44 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Hath patience, sayeth the lord.

In the meantime, you have my sympathy.

But asking you to ask questions is a positive thing. Take him up on that offer.

No need to be aggressive just e.g. "what does the bible mean when it says... " etc.

Thumbsup

I will, one of these days. My relationship with my parents hasn't been terrible but I've always been a docile first born, so having them take me seriously is going to be the challenge. Besides, I don't care about the bible.(I mean, I read it to stay knowledgeable but it's not even necessary to evoke to get my point across) What I want to talk about is this idea of faith, and I already know their answers about it.

I mean, they have this idea that their faith rests on evidence, but what evidence is there? Then cometh the moral arguments, the design arguments, etc. It won't end well unless I don't bring up any counter points, and I seriously doubt that I could hold any back. The moment the time comes that I do muster the courage to bring up the faith question I feel like my position will be pretty much out there for my family.

It's only a debate if both parties are willing to let each other's opinions change their own.
If you aren't willing to change in light of learning more about what you fight for, what the hell are you doing expecting the other party to want to change?
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15-03-2014, 09:34 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
It sounds like an opportunity to hone your life skills. But yes, for a peaceful life, best just to reply with nods and knowing smiles.

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15-03-2014, 09:41 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
(15-03-2014 08:44 AM)DLJ Wrote:  But asking you to ask questions is a positive thing. Take him up on that offer.

No need to be aggressive just e.g. "what does the bible mean when it says... " etc.

You mean play the long game by asking increasingly difficult questions that can't be answered so when the OP does come out as an atheist the dad thinks that it is his fault? Wink

Seriously though, if you are dependent on the parents you just have to suck it up and keep your head down. It sucks I know. When you leave home you can tell them that you are an atheist.
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15-03-2014, 11:27 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
What I would have done is simply ask "Or what?"

Would your dad disown you, or throw you out? Its worth probing to discover what kind of response you'll get if you ever do openly declare that you're an atheist.

Also, it depends on how involved you are likely to be with that person.

My parents both know I'm an atheist... My dad is one too, and my mum is probably agnostic. My grandmother is a full on fundamentalist... She's the only one who doesn't know (although she probably suspects it), but I hardly ever see her so it doesn't matter.

The point is, if the people who find out are just relatives you only see at Christmas, then its entirely your call... If they are close family who you live with 24/7 it might be worth keeping it to yourself.

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15-03-2014, 11:38 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
Yeah, I've heard it before. It makes me laugh on the inside a little.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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15-03-2014, 11:52 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
(15-03-2014 11:27 AM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  What I would have done is simply ask "Or what?"

Would your dad disown you, or throw you out? Its worth probing to discover what kind of response you'll get if you ever do openly declare that you're an atheist.

Also, it depends on how involved you are likely to be with that person.

My parents both know I'm an atheist... My dad is one too, and my mum is probably agnostic. My grandmother is a full on fundamentalist... She's the only one who doesn't know (although she probably suspects it), but I hardly ever see her so it doesn't matter.

The point is, if the people who find out are just relatives you only see at Christmas, then its entirely your call... If they are close family who you live with 24/7 it might be worth keeping it to yourself.

I honestly don't know. My family is hugely religious but try to be understanding and loving. my dad's brother is a deist at best and we haven't seen him in a year or two, for that very reason most likely.

I've been extremely close with my family, and I have a huge one at that. As well as being the oldest son, I'm also the first grandson on my moms side (the side of the family i'm closest with) so if I come out as an atheist I'll get reactions from literally everyone.

Even hinting at being an atheist isn't wise, so for now I'm going to keep quiet.
Quote:You mean play the long game by asking increasingly difficult questions that can't be answered so when the OP does come out as an atheist the dad thinks that it is his fault? Wink

Seriously though, if you are dependent on the parents you just have to suck it up and keep your head down. It sucks I know. When you leave home you can tell them that you are an atheist.

Playing the long game sounds like a goodish plan but my dad's bread and butter is the morality argument, so I doubt anything else would really get him thinking. He's willing to swallow the bullshit if it means having the morals he's learned. Any other question I have issue with in the bible would get swept under the rug while he champions the morals bs. But yeah I'm holding my own, I was pretty inconspicuous until I realized he was fucking snooping on my yahoo comments and facebook account. I changed them once he questioned why i was defending homosexuality and we had this conversation that about duck dynasty that really went nowhere (except for him to tell me he's praying that I'm not gay. I had to walk upstairs and not laugh hysterically at the situation I was in, having a father thinking I'm gay when I'm clearly not)

I'm confident enough to defend myself at this point unless he tries to pull some sye ten bruggencate bs in desperation, it's the emotional response of everyone else that'd kill me. Maybe I won't come out but I have scripts and a whole bunch of other content ready for a youtube channel when I'm on my own so we'll see what happens. Appreciate the support from you guys, though Big Grin Being black makes finding atheist friends even tougher, i think. Everyone in college curses like sailors and talks about sex but the moment you bring up god they're suddenly christians or deists and are *shocked* that the guy that doesn't like to be rowdy is an atheist.

It's only a debate if both parties are willing to let each other's opinions change their own.
If you aren't willing to change in light of learning more about what you fight for, what the hell are you doing expecting the other party to want to change?
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15-03-2014, 11:58 AM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
I honestly never heard those words from anyone in my family while I was growing up.
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15-03-2014, 12:09 PM
RE: "As long as you don't become an atheist"
(15-03-2014 11:58 AM)Foxen Wrote:  I honestly never heard those words from anyone in my family while I was growing up.


You. Me. Switch lives. Now Tongue

It's only a debate if both parties are willing to let each other's opinions change their own.
If you aren't willing to change in light of learning more about what you fight for, what the hell are you doing expecting the other party to want to change?
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