Ask a Former Mormon
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
29-10-2012, 08:28 AM
Ask a Former Mormon
Greetings All,

I just registered for this site not less than 24 hours ago, and after my "I used to be a Mormon" introduction, Dark Light suggested I start an "Ask a Former Mormon" thread, so here I am.

When I say "former Mormon", I must attempt to convey the gravity behind that statement. My Mormon heritage goes back generations to not long after the church was founded in 1830, and it goes back on both sides, mother and father. I have a slew of living relatives who are still faithful, believing Mormons. My parents, four brothers, and one sister are all very devout. All of us children, including my sister, served missions for the church. An ancestor on my father's side was converted specifically to help build a temple, and my great-grandmother on my mother's side was supposedly healed by her 14-year old brother and visited by an angel who commanded the family to meet every year on that day forevermore to commemorate the healing. So all of my childhood and into adulthood, my extended family on my mother's side met (and still meet) every year for that purpose. I don't relate this snidely or with derision. I still respect that this event is very special to my family and has kept them close over the years, regardless of its truth.

When I was 19, I went on a Mormon mission to Texas. It was a horrible experience that I tried for years to rationalize into a great one. I like to refer to it as a monumental exercise into futility. I was married in the temple to my first wife, and then after we divorced, married in the temple to my second wife.

I'm currently 36 years old with that second wife and four kids. Both my wife and I have recently left the Mormon church, though the drifting started a few years ago. My kids are no longer being taught anything other than the choice is theirs to believe what they want to believe, a chance my wife and I were never given. They will also have access to any books they seek out, including scripture. As an English instructor I believe, and have taught for years, that censorship is a very bad thing, and I hold to that position. I will not censor what my children read.

I don't claim any special knowledge or superiority, but I was a very devout member of the church for three decades, and that's three decades of experience(s) I can share.

There are many misconceptions about Mormons, but there are also many truths. Hopefully I can clarify both.

So with that said, feel free to ask away, and I'll answer as best I can. I must warn though, I've lost all my powers since the Underoos came off.

Best Regards,

wrenekape
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 11 users Like wrenekape's post
29-10-2012, 08:44 AM
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
(29-10-2012 08:28 AM)wrenekape Wrote:  Greetings All,

I just registered for this site not less than 24 hours ago, and after my "I used to be a Mormon" introduction, Dark Light suggested I start an "Ask a Former Mormon" thread, so here I am.

When I say "former Mormon", I must attempt to convey the gravity behind that statement. My Mormon heritage goes back generations to not long after the church was founded in 1830, and it goes back on both sides, mother and father. I have a slew of living relatives who are still faithful, believing Mormons. My parents, four brothers, and one sister are all very devout. All of us children, including my sister, served missions for the church. An ancestor on my father's side was converted specifically to help build a temple, and my great-grandmother on my mother's side was supposedly healed by her 14-year old brother and visited by an angel who commanded the family to meet every year on that day forevermore to commemorate the healing. So all of my childhood and into adulthood, my extended family on my mother's side met (and still meet) every year for that purpose. I don't relate this snidely or with derision. I still respect that this event is very special to my family and has kept them close over the years, regardless of its truth.

When I was 19, I went on a Mormon mission to Texas. It was a horrible experience that I tried for years to rationalize into a great one. I like to refer to it as a monumental exercise into futility. I was married in the temple to my first wife, and then after we divorced, married in the temple to my second wife.

I'm currently 36 years old with that second wife and four kids. Both my wife and I have recently left the Mormon church, though the drifting started a few years ago. My kids are no longer being taught anything other than the choice is theirs to believe what they want to believe, a chance my wife and I were never given. They will also have access to any books they seek out, including scripture. As an English instructor I believe, and have taught for years, that censorship is a very bad thing, and I hold to that position. I will not censor what my children read.

I don't claim any special knowledge or superiority, but I was a very devout member of the church for three decades, and that's three decades of experience(s) I can share.

There are many misconceptions about Mormons, but there are also many truths. Hopefully I can clarify both.

So with that said, feel free to ask away, and I'll answer as best I can. I must warn though, I've lost all my powers since the Underoos came off.

Best Regards,

wrenekape

What I don't understand is how anyone can take this silly, obviously invented, religion seriously.

How is that possible?

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Chas's post
29-10-2012, 08:49 AM
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
(29-10-2012 08:28 AM)wrenekape Wrote:  I was married in the temple to my first wife, and then after we divorced, married in the temple to my second wife.

Wait ... what ... divorced ... Blink ... I thought Mormons got married forever, none of that pussy 'til death us part bullshit.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-10-2012, 09:03 AM
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
(29-10-2012 08:44 AM)Chas Wrote:  What I don't understand is how anyone can take this silly, obviously invented, religion seriously.

How is that possible?

Hi Chas,

What Mormons do extremely well, in my opinion, is capitalize on the human experience, or rather, take advantage of how a person feels and claim it as God's influence. This was done to me unerringly. When I was a junior in high school, my seminary teacher told the class that the Spirit of God was the chills you feel on the back of your next when sitting in sacrament meeting listening to a speaker. That sounded fine and dandy, but I never could square that with the exact same feeling in the midst of Alice Cooper's "Poison", or certain R-rated movies, or "less-than-wholesome" books. It was this discord that eventually was the straw for me.

The crux of the Mormon church is that you know you've done the right thing by the feelings you have, e.g., peace, love, happiness, kindness, etc., and you know you've sinned by the bad feelings you have. The colossal error there, and the one that
got me out, was that this construct does nothing to address--and actually completely jacks up--anybody with any sort of mental illness for whom "feeling" is the absolute worst way on which to base any sort of objective judgment of good and bad. As long as Mormons can attribute the good feelings they have to being a direct connection of their faith, they will continue to believe in and rationalize all the other crap. Once removed from this paradigm, the insidiousness of the entire thing just explodes.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like wrenekape's post
29-10-2012, 09:06 AM
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
BAH! Gimme a second - *Fumbles frantically through his desk for his 200-page notebook*

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-10-2012, 09:20 AM
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
(29-10-2012 08:49 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Wait ... what ... divorced ... Blink ... I thought Mormons got married forever, none of that pussy 'til death us part bullshit.

Ha. Isn't that a funny story. AHEM.

When Mormons get married in the temple, yes, they are "sealed for time and all eternity." I was sealed to my first wife in this manner. When we got divorced, we were still sealed, so while legally we were no longer married, we were still sealed together in the church.

This didn't become an issue until I wanted to get married again. Since I was still an ardent believer, I couldn't get sealed again without permission. I had to write a letter to Salt Lake City and explain the circumstances of my divorce and my side of the story. After about three months, I was given the go ahead to get sealed again. Yes, this meant that I would have been sealed to two women. Because I am a man, this is called a "sealing clearance", meaning that I could be cleared to be sealed to more than one woman. My first sealing would have stayed in tact. When a woman wants to remarry, she has to apply for a "sealing cancellation" where the sealing becomes void.

The kicker came when I found out that my ex-wife received the sealing cancellation after a phone call with Salt Lake City. I had gone through the appropriate channels and procedures, and it took me three months. Just one of the many discrepancies that sprang leaks.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like wrenekape's post
29-10-2012, 10:02 AM
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
(29-10-2012 09:20 AM)wrenekape Wrote:  
(29-10-2012 08:49 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Wait ... what ... divorced ... Blink ... I thought Mormons got married forever, none of that pussy 'til death us part bullshit.

Ha. Isn't that a funny story. AHEM.

When Mormons get married in the temple, yes, they are "sealed for time and all eternity." I was sealed to my first wife in this manner. When we got divorced, we were still sealed, so while legally we were no longer married, we were still sealed together in the church.

This didn't become an issue until I wanted to get married again. Since I was still an ardent believer, I couldn't get sealed again without permission. I had to write a letter to Salt Lake City and explain the circumstances of my divorce and my side of the story. After about three months, I was given the go ahead to get sealed again. Yes, this meant that I would have been sealed to two women. Because I am a man, this is called a "sealing clearance", meaning that I could be cleared to be sealed to more than one woman. My first sealing would have stayed in tact. When a woman wants to remarry, she has to apply for a "sealing cancellation" where the sealing becomes void.

The kicker came when I found out that my ex-wife received the sealing cancellation after a phone call with Salt Lake City. I had gone through the appropriate channels and procedures, and it took me three months. Just one of the many discrepancies that sprang leaks.

Well at least you would've dodged a bullet there had you stayed in the Church, I imagine that being with an ex-wife and a wife for time and all eternity would pretty much qualify as Hell.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like GirlyMan's post
29-10-2012, 10:11 AM (This post was last modified: 29-10-2012 10:25 AM by Chas.)
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
(29-10-2012 09:03 AM)wrenekape Wrote:  
(29-10-2012 08:44 AM)Chas Wrote:  What I don't understand is how anyone can take this silly, obviously invented, religion seriously.

How is that possible?

Hi Chas,

What Mormons do extremely well, in my opinion, is capitalize on the human experience, or rather, take advantage of how a person feels and claim it as God's influence. This was done to me unerringly. When I was a junior in high school, my seminary teacher told the class that the Spirit of God was the chills you feel on the back of your next when sitting in sacrament meeting listening to a speaker. That sounded fine and dandy, but I never could square that with the exact same feeling in the midst of Alice Cooper's "Poison", or certain R-rated movies, or "less-than-wholesome" books. It was this discord that eventually was the straw for me.

The crux of the Mormon church is that you know you've done the right thing by the feelings you have, e.g., peace, love, happiness, kindness, etc., and you know you've sinned by the bad feelings you have. The colossal error there, and the one that
got me out, was that this construct does nothing to address--and actually completely jacks up--anybody with any sort of mental illness for whom "feeling" is the absolute worst way on which to base any sort of objective judgment of good and bad. As long as Mormons can attribute the good feelings they have to being a direct connection of their faith, they will continue to believe in and rationalize all the other crap. Once removed from this paradigm, the insidiousness of the entire thing just explodes.

[Image: bom.jpg]

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Chas's post
29-10-2012, 10:29 AM
Ask a Former Mormon
Wrenekape- right now I just want to say how very cool that you started this thread! I'm interested in reading it and may ask you some questions myself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes vanilla's post
29-10-2012, 10:48 AM
RE: Ask a Former Mormon
I enjoyed reading your responses to the posed questions. I detect an attitude lately that Mormonism is somehow crazier than other religions and I do not know what to make of that. I mean, if one believes in a supernatural being who created everything, had a son born of a virgin, who walked on water, raised the dead, and was resurrected from death to live eternally, and all was done to give everlasting life to those who believe, and everlasting torture to those who do not; then why is it such a stretch to believe that said God sent an angel to talk to a 19th Century American?

I think there is some bigotry towards Mormons that comes mostly from other Christians, but I also see it from atheists who think Mormonism is somehow wackier than other religions.

Do you think Mormons get more ridicule than other religions? Personally, I think all religions are totally off the wall, none more than any other.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like JDS's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: