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10-12-2011, 02:48 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
(10-12-2011 01:58 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(10-12-2011 12:54 PM)robotworld Wrote:  Oh hey! Interesting thread you have here Smile Here are my questions...

1) Other religions have their own Gods as well. On what basis can you discount their Gods such that your God is the only God?

2) From past debates, I get the impression that God does things the overcomplicated way. The common argument I hear that explains this is usually along the lines of "he works in mysterious ways". So... what is bounding God from simplifying things? Or can you provide a strong argument to explain this?

3) Which parts of the Bible do we take literally/figuratively?

4) On what basis are you certain that God exists? The whole foundation of religion is extremely faith based. Why believe in something for the sake of believing?

5) If God is indeed perfect, and the Bible is the word of God... explain biblical contradictions/inaccuracies.

6) Is there any physical evidence that God exists? Some say there aren't, but God has to be found through introspection, within ourselves. How does this make any sense at all? Can't God just reveal himself to us like how he did in the Bible?

7) Do you believe in miracles? Why aren't miracles scrutinised by the scientific community as a whole? What is there to lose if such events are indeed miracles?

8) Is there any point to all such religious procedures just to enjoy an afterlife? Why would you believe an afterlife exists? Even so, they are a thousand and one afterlifes, so how sure are you that the Christian heaven is the correct afterlife?

9) What if religion was a test by God, to see how we use the gift of knowledge and wisdom to differentiate the real from the illusory, and not blindly worshipping him?

Thanks for your time Smile

1) Faith. Faith alone. I'm not going to give some babbling answer. The only other answer would be personal feelings or experiences.

2) I've alluded to this several time with my other answers. His plan, whatever it is, required Him to do it the way He chose to do it. If He didn't do it a certain way, minutia would have eventually altered His plan. And since altering His plan is impossible, the way God enacts His plan is perfect.

3) It depends on the book. The context and audience has to be considered before we can decide what is taken literally and figuratively.

4) It's based on my personal experiences in my life.

5) Which? Many "contradictions" have been reconciled. The others may be subject to translation flaws (as is the case with many modern translations). This conclusions starts a slippery slope, though. And then, it comes down to a matter of faith again.

6) I'm physical evidence that God exists. But, I know that's not an acceptable answer. So no... there is no physical evidence for God. And, I don't know why He doesn't reveal Himself physically like He used to. I can't answer for God : /

7) Yes. And, I don't know. And, scientific reliance, maybe?

8) I believe because of my Christian beliefs and what is taught in my holy book.

9) Interesting concept, but I don't think God would use a religion that is based on Him as a guise to not believe in Him. That's a bit of contradictory logic.
(10-12-2011 12:54 PM)ddrew Wrote:  Okay now for a serious question...

From my understanding of Jesus and what his role was is this.... He was God incarnated as a man. Who's purpose was to be that perfect sacrifice and atonement for the sins of all mankind of past, present, and future. Believe that he is the truth, the saviour and repent your sins and you will be saved. Your name gets written into the book of life. Everlasting life in heaven for all eternity. This is the only way into heaven according to what I've read and heard them preach at that Chirstian ministry.

This is Arminian based Christian theology. I believe there is no choice in salvation.

Quote:Now my question is, what happens to all of those that the word of Jesus never reaches before they die? The Bible is not clear on what happens. For example the millions of people that follow other Gods. They follow other Gods because they were born into that culture and it was indoctrined into their education and upbringing. They live their lives following the laws of their God that they believe in. They never heard of Jesus. They having lived a good life as their society deems acceptable dies of old age.

Arminians reconcile this by citing Melchizedek (he knew of God - seemingly without explanation), Romans 1:20, and Psalms 19. They argue that no one has an excuse to not choose God because He is evident in creation.

Calvinists use these verses as supplementation. Calvinists believe if someone is elect, then they cannot deny the will of God. God will reveal Himself some way to them such as He did with Melchizedek or start their regeneration through the observation of the surrounding world.

Quote:Now according to the Bible... these people never came to accept Jesus as their lord and saviour. The Bible clearly states that if you do not accept Jesus as your lord and saviour you will be condemned and cast into the lake of fire for all eternity. What about these people that I described in the paragraph above? They never got the opportunity to know who Jesus was. They are going to stand at the pearl gates and be told their name is not written in the book life and be very confused.

Again, this is yet another flaw in the Arminian theology. If you put on your Calvin glasses, you will see how this is reconciled.
(10-12-2011 01:20 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(10-12-2011 10:45 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
Chas Wrote:How does God communicate with His chosen?

The Holy Spirit is our medium to the Father.

Not very helpful. How do you receive the data?

Hard to explain.

A feeling. A knowing. A comfort. An assurance. A sudden revelation.

If I don't have the messages, feelings, intuitions which I am certain are an expression of God's will, then according to your beliefs I'm simply not of the elect?

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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10-12-2011, 02:52 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
@Chas
Yes.

(didn't want to chain quote for that)

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10-12-2011, 03:37 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
(10-12-2011 10:45 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
morondog Wrote:Alright. Now. *How* are you to serve Him? What are the rules? Follow the commandments of Jesus? Be nice to people even though they're going to Hell?

What I mean is, what is it that God asks you to do, that you wouldn't do if you didn't serve Him?

Prayer I can think of as not an activity that I would willingly engage in. What else does God ask you to do?
Also, what does God tell you not to do, that you would otherwise do?
Masturbation comes to mind Tongue

I serve Him by listening to the Holy Spirit. How I serve Him is circumstantial. It can be almost anything and isn't something specific.

If I didn't serve God and wasn't guided by the Holy Spirit, I would most certainly be addicted to drugs. I would probably be in jail for assault as well. And more than likely, I would not be married right now and would be chasing tail to this day. That's just for me, personally. I would selfishly delve headfirst into my most carnal desires.

Hmmm. But I'm an atheist and I don't get nearly as much of my carnal desires as I'd like. You seem to say God put your life on track. Was it going down the tubes when you were agnostic?

I think you're failing to give yourself credit for achieving these things *yourself*.

More questions:
1. Do you actively spread the Word of God, do you believe that God commands this?
2. What do you think of gay people? I realise this is an emotive question, so please just say what the position is.
3. I guess you might have posted in the thread, but is masturbation a sin?
(Sorry for all the sex related questions, but you can blame your odd God for making us with the equipment and then telling us not to use it).
4. Do you feel that God wants you to be nice to me even though I'm damned (definitely not hypothetically, I deliberately did the insulting the holy spirit thing a while back just to be sure Tongue)?
5. How's about women? Where do they fit in? Subservient to men?
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10-12-2011, 03:37 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
(10-12-2011 01:58 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(10-12-2011 12:54 PM)ddrew Wrote:  Okay now for a serious question...

From my understanding of Jesus and what his role was is this.... He was God incarnated as a man. Who's purpose was to be that perfect sacrifice and atonement for the sins of all mankind of past, present, and future. Believe that he is the truth, the saviour and repent your sins and you will be saved. Your name gets written into the book of life. Everlasting life in heaven for all eternity. This is the only way into heaven according to what I've read and heard them preach at that Chirstian ministry.

This is Arminian based Christian theology. I believe there is no choice in salvation.

Quote:Now my question is, what happens to all of those that the word of Jesus never reaches before they die? The Bible is not clear on what happens. For example the millions of people that follow other Gods. They follow other Gods because they were born into that culture and it was indoctrined into their education and upbringing. They live their lives following the laws of their God that they believe in. They never heard of Jesus. They having lived a good life as their society deems acceptable dies of old age.

Arminians reconcile this by citing Melchizedek (he knew of God - seemingly without explanation), Romans 1:20, and Psalms 19. They argue that no one has an excuse to not choose God because He is evident in creation.

Calvinists use these verses as supplementation. Calvinists believe if someone is elect, then they cannot deny the will of God. God will reveal Himself some way to them such as He did with Melchizedek or start their regeneration through the observation of the surrounding world.

Quote:Now according to the Bible... these people never came to accept Jesus as their lord and saviour. The Bible clearly states that if you do not accept Jesus as your lord and saviour you will be condemned and cast into the lake of fire for all eternity. What about these people that I described in the paragraph above? They never got the opportunity to know who Jesus was. They are going to stand at the pearl gates and be told their name is not written in the book life and be very confused.

Again, this is yet another flaw in the Arminian theology. If you put on your Calvin glasses, you will see how this is reconciled.

To me that means absolutely nothing. I don't own nore care to have a pair of Calvin glasses. I'm basing my question from what the Holy Bible says ... NKJV, KJV, NIV, NASV.. pick one.. where the heck did Arminian theology and Calvinism come into answering that question? The answers you gave did not answer anything.


Erxomai... you understand what it is that I'm asking him right? I think Kings got confused.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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10-12-2011, 03:48 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
morondog, I'll have to answer your questions tonight, I'm about to leave.

Drew, I addressed the Arminian and Calvinistic views because the bulk of your questions weren't applicable or compatible with what I believe. I gave you the Arminian point of view because it related to your questions and gave the Calvinistic point of view because it's what I believe. The point of view of Arminian and Calvinism affects the outcome of the questions you asked. That is why I answered that way.

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10-12-2011, 03:50 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
(10-12-2011 03:48 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  morondog, I'll have to answer your questions tonight, I'm about to leave.

Take it easy dude, no rush. I'd be going nuts with the amount of questions you're answering. More power to your elbow Smile
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10-12-2011, 04:04 PM (This post was last modified: 10-12-2011 04:50 PM by Erxomai.)
RE: Ask a Theist!
(10-12-2011 03:37 PM)ddrew Wrote:  Erxomai... you understand what it is that I'm asking him right? I think Kings got confused.

Technically, KC is deluded, but that's a discussion to have when the class gets to Dawkins' book before the end of the semester.

I see what you're both talking about. (Although really I wasn't paying attention until you asked. Smile

DD, your questions come out of an assumption, for lack of a better word on the fly, "orthodox" Christianity. Your questions assume a background in that system of thinking, and they are good questions.

Problem is, KC is coming from a different bent with worshiping the wrong JC<<<see what I did there, KC? Your questions presuppose an understanding of "Arminian" theology which simply put says we have free-will to decide or not to decide to accept Jesus. Calvinism simply put states that we do not have ANY choice in the matter.

So, I think the wires are getting crossed because he's trying to answer your questions as written, but he doesn't agree with the theology in the question, if that makes any sense. So he's trying to give the theological answer to your question, but it's not what he believes, so he's trying to distinguish his Calvinism from what "typical" Christianity would say about your questions.

KC, am I representing you correctly? Especially the part about being delusional? Big Grin

DD, Give me a moment for a couple hits at the bong and I shall try to channel Pastor Erxomai to answer your questions the way he would have as a theist. Stay tuned...

(10-12-2011 02:38 PM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  It's funnier when you see it:

I am much agreement with you, GE. I was looking for just the speech on basing ones knowledge on information that came from some watery-tart throwing swords from the lake, but I couldn't find a trimmed down version so resorted to the transcript. Between the two of us, I think we have given the forum what they came for. Smile

WARNING

The following drivel that you are about to read is NOT real. Do not be alarmed. You do not need fear going to hell because it does not exist. Small children should not be exposed to these ideas. Reader Discretion is advised.

Disclaimer
The ideas expressed by Reverend Erxomai are offered while under the influence, but not of the Holy Spirit. It's been about 6 or 7 years since digging into any of this meant anything to me. Also, if we were having a face to face conversation, I'm sure I would add a lot more detail, oh, and I would have pulled out a buttload of Bible verses to consider (before you scoff, that is one of the ground rules of this thread. KC stated he believes in the validity of the Bible so he was going to give Bible answers, but I bore of typing too much about theology, so here's what you get:

Ask An Atheist Who Used To Be A Theist Answer Questions As If He Were Still A Theist:

(10-12-2011 12:54 PM)ddrew Wrote:  Dear Atheist Who Used To Be A Theist Answering Questions As If He Were Still A Theist. Can you please help me with my dilemma?

Now my question is, what happens to all of those that the word of Jesus never reaches before they die? The Bible is not clear on what happens. For example the millions of people that follow other Gods. They follow other Gods because they were born into that culture and it was indoctrined into their education and upbringing. They live their lives following the laws of their God that they believe in. They never heard of Jesus. They having lived a good life as their society deems acceptable dies of old age.

Now according to the Bible... these people never came to accept Jesus as their lord and saviour. The Bible clearly states that if you do not accept Jesus as your lord and saviour you will be condemned and cast into the lake of fire for all eternity. What about these people that I described in the paragraph above? They never got the opportunity to know who Jesus was. They are going to stand at the pearl gates and be told their name is not written in the book life and be very confused.

This is one of those difficult questions, son. (<<<See what I just did there?
By calling you son, I've raised my own authority. By calling it difficult, I've warned you that there may not be a satisfactory answer. By saying it is "one of those" I've dismissed any inherent problem you may be trying to raise, by discounting it as one of many questions I've heard and dealt with because I have God on my side. Cue the condescending tone in my head: Poor sweet DD, wants to understand a hard question). And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

The bottom-line answer without giving any fluff, is: Yes, the people you have asked about will stand before the Great Judge and be told their names have not been found in the Lamb's Book of Life and will therefore be cast forever into the lake of fire which was prepared for Satan and his fallen angels.

Jesus himself said to his disciples that he was the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through him. Jesus didn't say he was one way. He didn't say he was A Way. He said he is THE WAY. NO ONE can come to the Father without him.

The obvious response is, "But that's not fair." And if we knew God to be fair, then this would be true. But God isn't fair, he is Just. He must stick to what he has commanded because to do otherwise is to go against his own nature. What is his nature? Holiness. What is Holiness? Purity, without even a mote of impurity. Even the smallest lie..."No, those pants don't make you look fat"...will send you to eternal damnation, so please fellas, always add, "You make those pants look fat."

Ah, but the naive atheist answers, "But I thought God is also Love. How can it be love to smote all those folks who never even heard of him?"
"Well, son, you see, this is how God demonstrated his love, that he sent his only begotten son to die for us. See? He does love us! Who else do you know who is willing to slaughter their son for us???"

Ah, but the naive atheist tries one more time..."But how is that loving to the people who never heard the name of Jesus or God or have seen a Bible?"

Pastor Erxomai now pulls out the trump card he has been holding since the beginning of the question being asked:

"You see, son, The Bible actually does address the "fairness" of this topic. Let's see what the Word of God has to say, shall we? Ah, looky here in Romans 1 starting with verse 18:

18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles."
(From the NASB, random italics and big, bold letters for emphasis, or just because I thought it looked cool).

Next I would offer to loan you my dog-eared copy of Don Richardson's, "ETERNITY IN THEIR HEARTS" and that will give you detailed accounts of the 100s of cultures who have quaint little stories about missionaries finding jungle folk and before they could tell them about Jesus, the quaint natives would tell them about the Son of God who had come to them in a vision and told them the way to salvation, but over the centuries they had forgotten his name. The missionaries were amazed and went on to tell them all about Jesus with Flannelgraph Boards and figures they snagged from the Sunday School Supply Closet.

BAM! Booyah! Whuh?

Depending upon the persistence of the questioner, that usually shuts them up long enough to get them out of Pastor Erxomai's office. If they do persist to say, "Yeah, but what about..." Then I'd say, "Hey look, something shiny!" And run from the room.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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10-12-2011, 05:22 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
(10-12-2011 04:04 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(10-12-2011 03:37 PM)ddrew Wrote:  Erxomai... you understand what it is that I'm asking him right? I think Kings got confused.


WARNING

The following drivel that you are about to read is NOT real. Do not be alarmed. You do not need fear going to hell because it does not exist. Small children should not be exposed to these ideas. Reader Discretion is advised.

Disclaimer
The ideas expressed by Reverend Erxomai are offered while under the influence, but not of the Holy Spirit. It's been about 6 or 7 years since digging into any of this meant anything to me. Also, if we were having a face to face conversation, I'm sure I would add a lot more detail, oh, and I would have pulled out a buttload of Bible verses to consider (before you scoff, that is one of the ground rules of this thread. KC stated he believes in the validity of the Bible so he was going to give Bible answers, but I bore of typing too much about theology, so here's what you get:

Ask An Atheist Who Used To Be A Theist Answer Questions As If He Were Still A Theist:

(10-12-2011 12:54 PM)ddrew Wrote:  Dear Atheist Who Used To Be A Theist Answering Questions As If He Were Still A Theist. Can you please help me with my dilemma?

Now my question is, what happens to all of those that the word of Jesus never reaches before they die? The Bible is not clear on what happens. For example the millions of people that follow other Gods. They follow other Gods because they were born into that culture and it was indoctrined into their education and upbringing. They live their lives following the laws of their God that they believe in. They never heard of Jesus. They having lived a good life as their society deems acceptable dies of old age.

Now according to the Bible... these people never came to accept Jesus as their lord and saviour. The Bible clearly states that if you do not accept Jesus as your lord and saviour you will be condemned and cast into the lake of fire for all eternity. What about these people that I described in the paragraph above? They never got the opportunity to know who Jesus was. They are going to stand at the pearl gates and be told their name is not written in the book life and be very confused.

This is one of those difficult questions, son. (<<<See what I just did there?
By calling you son, I've raised my own authority. By calling it difficult, I've warned you that there may not be a satisfactory answer. By saying it is "one of those" I've dismissed any inherent problem you may be trying to raise, by discounting it as one of many questions I've heard and dealt with because I have God on my side. Cue the condescending tone in my head: Poor sweet DD, wants to understand a hard question). And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

The bottom-line answer without giving any fluff, is: Yes, the people you have asked about will stand before the Great Judge and be told their names have not been found in the Lamb's Book of Life and will therefore be cast forever into the lake of fire which was prepared for Satan and his fallen angels.

Jesus himself said to his disciples that he was the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through him. Jesus didn't say he was one way. He didn't say he was A Way. He said he is THE WAY. NO ONE can come to the Father without him.

The obvious response is, "But that's not fair." And if we knew God to be fair, then this would be true. But God isn't fair, he is Just. He must stick to what he has commanded because to do otherwise is to go against his own nature. What is his nature? Holiness. What is Holiness? Purity, without even a mote of impurity. Even the smallest lie..."No, those pants don't make you look fat"...will send you to eternal damnation, so please fellas, always add, "You make those pants look fat."

Ah, but the naive atheist answers, "But I thought God is also Love. How can it be love to smote all those folks who never even heard of him?"
"Well, son, you see, this is how God demonstrated his love, that he sent his only begotten son to die for us. See? He does love us! Who else do you know who is willing to slaughter their son for us???"

Ah, but the naive atheist tries one more time..."But how is that loving to the people who never heard the name of Jesus or God or have seen a Bible?"

Pastor Erxomai now pulls out the trump card he has been holding since the beginning of the question being asked:

"You see, son, The Bible actually does address the "fairness" of this topic. Let's see what the Word of God has to say, shall we? Ah, looky here in Romans 1 starting with verse 18:

18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles."
(From the NASB, random italics and big, bold letters for emphasis, or just because I thought it looked cool).

Next I would offer to loan you my dog-eared copy of Don Richardson's, "ETERNITY IN THEIR HEARTS" and that will give you detailed accounts of the 100s of cultures who have quaint little stories about missionaries finding jungle folk and before they could tell them about Jesus, the quaint natives would tell them about the Son of God who had come to them in a vision and told them the way to salvation, but over the centuries they had forgotten his name. The missionaries were amazed and went on to tell them all about Jesus with Flannelgraph Boards and figures they snagged from the Sunday School Supply Closet.

BAM! Booyah! Whuh?

Depending upon the persistence of the questioner, that usually shuts them up long enough to get them out of Pastor Erxomai's office. If they do persist to say, "Yeah, but what about..." Then I'd say, "Hey look, something shiny!" And run from the room.

LOL!! Now that was entertaining ... I've many of heads roll and explode over debating that one with theists ... I be one of dem persistant fuggers that'll make ya run from the room. ... well thank you for clearing that up lol... now back to my brandy and eggnog...

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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10-12-2011, 06:18 PM
RE: Ask a Theist!
1) In heaven do we have physical form? If so what form, it would hardly seem fair for someone with arthritis who struggles to walk to have arthritis in heaven just because they died that way. Then again my nan had arthritis all the time I knew her, it would be weird if she was suddenly 30 when I got to heaven, I don't think I'd recognise her.

2) What mental level are we at in heaven? If a baby dies and goes to heaven would they be forever in the form of a baby with the mental level of a baby or would they have the form/intellect of the person they would have grown into had they not died?

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Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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10-12-2011, 07:08 PM (This post was last modified: 10-12-2011 07:11 PM by Starcrash.)
RE: Ask a Theist!
(10-12-2011 10:45 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(10-12-2011 09:10 AM)Starcrash Wrote:  1. Why don't Christians have a system in place for discovering what their "spiritual gift" is?

2. Why isn't speaking in tongues part of the regular church service as commanded by Paul? Why isn't prophecy shared during church service?

3. Why, in Matthew 19, when Jesus is asked "what must I do to be saved" does Jesus reply with "follow these commandments" and then "sell your possessions"?

1) Because Christians are people. They're lazy and like others to tell them stuff. Christians also like lists and corny crap for some reason. Only God can reveal your spiritual gift(s) to you. It's silly to think someone who has never met you or spent time with you can tell you what you're good at. Clairvoyants make a living off gullible people like this by feeding them generalizations.

2) Speaking in tongues without a interpreter is unbiblical. If there isn't an interpreter, then it's not of God and fake. Tongues without an interpreter is only acceptable during a personal prayer between you and God. If there is someone else present and able to hear your tongues, then there should be an interpreter.

3) This was a parable. It was teaching obedience.

You're making a good point of proving Christians as lazy.. I put some time and thought into these questions, but the answers were weak - especially the third one! It was clearly not a parable, which is a short allegorical story or an analogy. I even cited the bible reference with a hyperlink so you could read it yourself if you'd forgotten what I was talking about.

If Christians are too lazy to figure out their spiritual gifts, why is God so lazy about fixing this laziness?

If speaking in tongues requires an interpreter, then why don't churches have interpreters? In this day and age of digital technology, why isn't there a compilation of "heavenly language" for people to learn from if there are Christians who really do speak or interpret it?

Quote:This is one of those difficult questions, son. (<<<See what I just did there?
By calling you son, I've raised my own authority. By calling it difficult, I've warned you that there may not be a satisfactory answer. By saying it is "one of those" I've dismissed any inherent problem you may be trying to raise, by discounting it as one of many questions I've heard and dealt with because I have God on my side. Cue the condescending tone in my head: Poor sweet DD, wants to understand a hard question). And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Brilliant, Erxomai. I read and enjoyed this very much. And it was enlightening.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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