Atheist Daughter/Xtian Mother - HELP
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28-12-2015, 12:40 AM
RE: Atheist Daughter/Xtian Mother - HELP
First let me say, welcome, and glad you've found reason in your life, looks like you'll need it.

As a person who's used the services of a very good professional counselor I would advise you find your own counselor and see them for a while so they can help you deal with your mother and work towards see the counselor together.

I will say that the therapeutic value of counseling rest in trust, you obviously have no trust in religion (for good reasons) nor in your mother so I would not agree to a counselor she recommends. Find your own. (You might not find the right one the first time either, be prepared to consider the first visit a vetting process) BUT they need not be secular to be a good match for you. Do not mistake a persons personal beliefs with that of what they may do professionally. (though we know this may not always be true it is true of a really good professional)

My counselor that I see from time to time is not secular. When I called her to make an appointment I told her frankly I was not looking for spiritual therapy, she said good because she did not offer it. When I went in I said up front I was atheist and that I wanted help in deal with the grief and anger in my divorce and that I just wanted to be sure the I wasn't going to have to worry about hearing any, "take it to jesus" stuff you hear about in Oklahoma. She explain she was a professional, certified and licensed therapists, that was what I am paying for and that's what I would get. She was good to her word. (I did not ask her about her religion, it was not my business)

I've since found out over the years that she's actually a devout catholic but she has never once fed me anything religious or the least bit hinky. She has been wonderful to and for me. It's been a good match.

Take care of yourself first, once you do that, you will be prepared for dealing with the obstacles that your mother will throw at you. The best way to show her you are on your own true path is to be the best and strongest person you can be. Smile

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28-12-2015, 08:54 AM
RE: Atheist Daughter/Xtian Mother - HELP
I am sorry to hear about that. It sounds like you are in a very frustrating situation and I agree with what everyone said about secular counseling. My only advice to you is not to focus on what your mother is saying or doing but try to understand why she is saying and doing the things that are upsetting you so much. I don't know the whole situation but I assume that she loves you and cares about you deeply. In her mind she is really worried about your soul and is afraid for you. Yes, you are an adult and you are free to make your own decisions so be firm. However, I recommend to approach your mother with love and respect.

Explain to her that you understand her concern is out of love and you are very thankful to have such a loving mother. But tell her that this is your decision. Politely tell your mother that if she truly believes in the scripture then she should believe that God can bring you back, not her. So if she wants to pray for you, she should be free to do so. Just make sure to set the hard boundaries early. I hope this helps.
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28-12-2015, 10:41 AM
RE: Atheist Daughter/Xtian Mother - HELP
(27-12-2015 10:53 PM)Astreja Wrote:  Yes, there are therapists who deal specifically with this. One name that sprang to mind is Dr. Marlene Winell, who has a book, an online support group and other resources (Her website: Journey Free).

You could also contact a local Psychological Association and inquire if any of their members have experience with religious/spiritual abuse.

I looked through that Journey Free website. It's seems to have some really nice stuff going on. A good starting point for those suffering from religious trauma. Great link.Thumbsup

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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