Atheist and dating
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03-08-2010, 03:16 AM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
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03-08-2010, 08:25 AM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
I guess I should count myself as one of the lucky few. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 5 years now. I'm an Atheist, and she leans more towards Agnostic. She has a 10 year old son that she is teaching to question everything. She doesn't care if he becomes an Atheist, a Christian, or a Buddist..... as long as it's an educated choice that HE makes. She does (as do I) have an issue with his grandmother making him say prayers before bed, or taking him to church. If he wants to learn, then educate him, but don't push your beliefs on an impressionable mind. If I told a 5 year old that the black lines on the bottom of a pool smelled just like pizza, you would call me cruel, right?
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03-08-2010, 08:52 AM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
(31-07-2010 01:28 PM)thegirl Wrote:  i've never had a problem finding like minded people with in the dating pool. most guys don't label themselves and either loath or have parted their way from the religion they were brought up in.
When I read some of the posts above I cannot help wondering from what part of the world you guys are. My experience is that most European countries are fairly open-minded and tolerant of non-belief, where the same can unfortunately not be said for the USA, not to mention my own country, South Africa. Believe me guys, if you are a non-believer in this part of the world, it is definitely best to keep it "in the closet" so to speak. If not, you run the risk of not only being sidelined by the community (excluding potential partners/friends/girlfriends), but also in the workplace. Let me explain the extent at which religion is engrained in society here at the southern point of Africa. At the workplace it is not an unfamiliar phenomenon for the workday to be started with a prayer. Nobody of course forced to attend, but you can imagine the subtle discrimination bred through this little "club". Not to mention the insult at hearing from your colleagues how your piers (and bosses) are praying for your salvation during these sessions. The same applies to religion and dating. Consider the fact that 92% of the Afrikaner community (people of Dutch descent, of which I am one.) are regular church goers. When I say regular, this implies at least once a week on Sunday mornings, and often also attending the evening service (or "show", as I like to refer to it). I am not exaggerating when I mention that most of my friends met their spouses through church. The most frustrating part is that my people (Afrikaners) have seemingly learned absolutely nothing from the lessons of the past. A past where religous dogma played a central role in the racist political policies of the day. Personally I have have spent two years of (forced) conscription in the South African Defence force during the eighties. One of them on the border, fighting the "terrorists" that today forms the government of this country. I have seen young boys of 18 losing limbs, being maimed or paralysed for life, or killed - all for defending the way of life and ...wait for it...religion. This was the propaganda fed to us. "Sorry sir, I regret to inform you that your son was killed in Angola, but I'm glad to report he died a hero. Fighting for a good cause in order for us to carry on with our way of life...bla, bla, bla". You can imagine the turmoil these parents must experience when considering the fact that the very people that their son fought against - these very people are today in power. The scary part however is that these people take the pain and ask no questions. The fact that apartheid was justified from "holy" biblical scripture also does not seem to shake their religous foundations.
Apologies for my slightly off-topic ramblings, but this to explain the backdrop of trying to live life as an atheist in a coutry where you are just about confronted with religion around every corner. During my dating days, I was usually brutally honest when prompted on my convictions and while the girl was often willing to overlook my religous "shortcomings" during the in-love phase of the relationship, the parents certainly did not and on more than one occasion the latter was the reason for a break-up. Today I am happily married to a (you guessed it) religous woman that fortunately tolerates her "otherwise" husband. Her farther is a complete religous nutcase that basically ruined two of his three childrens' lives. (Ironically, my wife, who lived with her aunt for most of her teenage youth is the only religous one of the three children.) While my wife accepts me for who I am and agreed in principle not to indoctrinate our three children with religous dogma, it is sometimes extremely frustrating to keep my mouth shut in everyday life, e.g. when we visit friends. However, the alternative is hurt feelings and accusations of disrespect and insensitivity. Keeping my mouth shut is the price I have to pay for "keeping the peace". However, I am one of the lucky few. One or two of my friends that leans towards non-belief, keeps it very quiet and would never mention or admit it to their spouses. Here in RSA the route of less resistance is unfortunately the order of the day. Sometimes it feels like I was born in the wrong country.
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03-08-2010, 12:22 PM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
I've dated guys that were religious and from very religious families. I never really ran into them having problems with me being an atheist. I've always been very open about it so they knew what they were getting into. However, my current boyfriend is an atheist and I find it is much nicer dating a fellow atheist. This way I don't have to worry about offending his beliefs and he doesn't have to worry about offending mine. Also, we live in a VERY Christian city to the point where it controls almost everything so it's nice to have someone that I can rant about religion to without him getting offended.
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04-08-2010, 12:10 PM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
i do live in the us, Malherbe. in the burbs of chicago. i meet lots of people who claim to be one religion or another, but once i tell them i'm an atheist, they seem to feel the need to come clean and tell me all about how they only say they are christian or whatever. i really do think a lot more people pretend to be religious than really are.
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05-08-2010, 03:57 PM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
I had my fair share of issues when it comes to this problem. Up until recently.. and I am 33, I was dating women, who looked great on the outside but lacked allot on the inside. Word of advise for you kids(man I feel old stating that. ) Beauty is nice, but fads over time.. Fine someone you are attracted to, but have a ton in common with. With that said.

Almost 3 years ago I was dating someone who was brought up in a Catholic household, went to grade School, High school even College and Master programs. We went to a friend of mines house, we have a very dark sick sense of humor, him and I. We made a joke in that it isn't rape after the first time a priest molesters you, it is Gods will. She ran off to go cry and made a comment, how she never heard anyone talk that way about her religion so badly in person.

I was also told that I shouldn't talk about my views in her parents house, to not cause a argument. We didn't last very long!

Another one, could not understand how I can't believe there is no God..

The current GF, is Agnostic, and we don't really see eye to eye on everything about this, but she and I are intelligent and smart enough to know, the minor details really don't matter.

Overall, if you are a non-believer in fairy tales, you should try and find someone that is like that.. IMO.
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08-08-2010, 09:07 AM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
I recently dated a Christian (Creationalist) and there wern't many religious disputes or arguments until after we broke up and they were mostly debates and not heated. He was quite tollerant about my own beliefs so dating a theist would be fine. Although some of his beliefs did contradict to my own concerning relationships, which did ruin it for me. I think it depends on the tollerance of either party to religion. But I, personally, would go for an atheist to match my own views on relationships. Big Grin
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10-08-2010, 12:18 AM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
i am new user
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11-08-2010, 12:06 AM
 
RE: Atheist and dating
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
hello
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11-08-2010, 05:07 AM
RE: Atheist and dating
does this board have moderators? If so, can you start banning the IP addresses of the idiots who keep posting "hiiiiiiiiiiiii" all over the place? The handle keeps changing but I'd bet it's just 1 or 2 people and you should be able to just ban them by their IP.

Anyone with admin rights to the board should be able to do it.

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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