Atheist funeral instructions
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29-08-2016, 12:48 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
I've said it before and I'll say it again that I think the misguided convention in many of the major religions, that an "afterlife" exists is a dangerously juvenile concept that actually prevents people from truly confronting their own mortality and appreciating the time they have. If this "earthly" life is just a beginning phase to a perpetual existence, then we never really face and make peace with death. It's so childish as to be laughable, not to mention vain.

I can't remember which of the atheist thinkers it was, maybe Hitchens who said something like, "How conceited must we be to behold the beauty of this life and the universe and contend not only that these are not enough, but to expect another of each of them after we die?" And another to the effect of, "The concept of Heaven persists because we are too selfish to imagine the possibility of a universe without us in it."
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29-08-2016, 01:33 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
This is why I demand no service.

Why the hell would anyone throw me a party when they know I can't go?

Fuck em.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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29-08-2016, 01:43 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
(29-08-2016 12:48 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  I've said it before and I'll say it again that I think the misguided convention in many of the major religions, that an "afterlife" exists is a dangerously juvenile concept that actually prevents people from truly confronting their own mortality and appreciating the time they have. If this "earthly" life is just a beginning phase to a perpetual existence, then we never really face and make peace with death. It's so childish as to be laughable, not to mention vain.

I can't remember which of the atheist thinkers it was, maybe Hitchens who said something like, "How conceited must we be to behold the beauty of this life and the universe and contend not only that these are not enough, but to expect another of each of them after we die?" And another to the effect of, "The concept of Heaven persists because we are too selfish to imagine the possibility of a universe without us in it."



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29-08-2016, 05:13 PM (This post was last modified: 30-08-2016 06:06 AM by CleverUsername.)
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
I don't know. Not all "At least..." phrases are religious stuff. "At least they went peacefully." "At least they lived a long life." "At least they were happy." "At least they aren't suffering anymore."

Maybe the person just doesn't like those phrases for reasons not related to religion. It just seems kind of weird since the other things it's included with clearly have a religious angle.

(29-08-2016 12:10 PM)stevec Wrote:  After my uncles funeral earlier this year one of my cousins said to me:

"I much preferred your Mums funeral, it was about how wonderful she was, not about how wonderful god is. I want my funeral to be like hers."

My grandmother's funeral was actually just five days ago, and I pretty much had the same problem with it as they apparently had with your uncle's. It spent much more time going on about how awesome being religious and getting heaven is than actually talking about her.

At one point, the priest turned to my grandfather, and joked that he'd given him enough material for two hours and he'd need to cut it down. I thought "Oh, grandpa must have given him some information on grandma for him to talk about, how nice". Nope. He just meant he could go on about the Bible passages used as readings. Because, you know, our loved one will die every Sunday, but those passages will only be in the Bible this once. Dodgy

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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29-08-2016, 05:18 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
(29-08-2016 05:13 PM)CleverUsername Wrote:  I don't know. Not all "At least..." phrases are religious stuff. "At least they went peacefully." "At least they lived a long life." "At least they were happy." "At least they aren't suffering anymore."

Maybe the person just doesn't like those phrases for reasons not related to religion. It just seems kind of weird since the other things it's included with clearly have a religious angle.

(29-08-2016 12:10 PM)stevec Wrote:  After my uncles funeral earlier this year one of my cousins said to me:

"I much preferred your Mums funeral, it was about how wonderful she was, not about how wonderful god is. I want my funeral to be like hers."

My grandmother's funeral was actually just five days ago, and I pretty much had the same problem with it as they apparently had with your uncle's. It much more time going on about how awesome being religious and getting heaven is than actually talking about her.

At one point, the priest turned to my grandfather, and joked that he'd given him enough material for two hours and he'd need to cut it down. I thought "Oh, grandpa must have given him some information on grandma for him to talk about, how nice". Nope. He just meant he could go on about the Bible passages used as readings. Because, you know, our loved one will die every Sunday, but those passages will only be in the Bible this once. Dodgy

I am sorry for your loss. Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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29-08-2016, 05:55 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
(29-08-2016 05:13 PM)CleverUsername Wrote:  I don't know. Not all "At least..." phrases are religious stuff. "At least they went peacefully." "At least they lived a long life." "At least they were happy." "At least they aren't suffering anymore."

Maybe the person just doesn't like those phrases for reasons not related to religion. It just seems kind of weird since the other things it's included with clearly have a religious angle.

(29-08-2016 12:10 PM)stevec Wrote:  After my uncles funeral earlier this year one of my cousins said to me:

"I much preferred your Mums funeral, it was about how wonderful she was, not about how wonderful god is. I want my funeral to be like hers."

My grandmother's funeral was actually just five days ago, and I pretty much had the same problem with it as they apparently had with your uncle's. It much more time going on about how awesome being religious and getting heaven is than actually talking about her.

At one point, the priest turned to my grandfather, and joked that he'd given him enough material for two hours and he'd need to cut it down. I thought "Oh, grandpa must have given him some information on grandma for him to talk about, how nice". Nope. He just meant he could go on about the Bible passages used as readings. Because, you know, our loved one will die every Sunday, but those passages will only be in the Bible this once. Dodgy

I'm sorry to see of your loss of your grandfather, as well. Hug Same thing happened at my FIL's funeral. Dodgy
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29-08-2016, 06:04 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
When I'm close to funeral time, I plan on having the funeral before I die, so I get to see it.
Cause once I'm dead, I will have no idea if they stuck to my wishes or not.

Deep down I don't trust them Smile

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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29-08-2016, 06:26 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
(29-08-2016 05:55 PM)Fireball Wrote:  
(29-08-2016 05:13 PM)CleverUsername Wrote:  I don't know. Not all "At least..." phrases are religious stuff. "At least they went peacefully." "At least they lived a long life." "At least they were happy." "At least they aren't suffering anymore."

Maybe the person just doesn't like those phrases for reasons not related to religion. It just seems kind of weird since the other things it's included with clearly have a religious angle.


My grandmother's funeral was actually just five days ago, and I pretty much had the same problem with it as they apparently had with your uncle's. It much more time going on about how awesome being religious and getting heaven is than actually talking about her.

At one point, the priest turned to my grandfather, and joked that he'd given him enough material for two hours and he'd need to cut it down. I thought "Oh, grandpa must have given him some information on grandma for him to talk about, how nice". Nope. He just meant he could go on about the Bible passages used as readings. Because, you know, our loved one will die every Sunday, but those passages will only be in the Bible this once. Dodgy

I'm sorry to see of your loss of your grandfather, as well. Hug Same thing happened at my FIL's funeral. Dodgy

When my dad died he was cremated. There was no funeral or memorial service. We simply assembled on my brothers back deck with a case of cold beer and some sandwiches and sat around telling funny stories about his life. It went on for hours. One of my brothers got roaring drunk.... and when he's drunk he gets funnier. It was one of the most pleasant evenings I've ever spent. The next day, after some of the family members recovered from their hangovers, we took his ashes, mixed them with my mother's ashes that I'd kept from her cremation and scattered them in the Columbia river.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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29-08-2016, 06:33 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
My wife and I talked about this about a year or so ago, she wants a simple catholic funeral of course.

When she asked me what I want I said " I want to be fed to the African lions at the zoo so I can die in the manner of our ancient forefathers... uh but make sure I'm dead first."

She didn't find that funny...

Then I said "Funerals are for the benefit of the living, not the dead, so you do what you want to do... the way you need to say goodbye. Don't spend too much money and don't plan for a big turn-out. Anyone that actually knew me will hopefully be in the pub that day."

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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29-08-2016, 06:57 PM
RE: Atheist funeral instructions
(29-08-2016 09:36 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(29-08-2016 09:26 AM)Dom Wrote:  Oh, there are more.

He is sitting next to god watching out for you...

He is in a better place now...

God called one of his beloved angels back...

He is united with Tom, Dick and Harry again...


And if I cared to think about it any longer, there would be more.

This babble is what originally drove me to come here... made me crazy!


I see this on the news all the time when a child dies and families are interviewed about the tragedy. Like you said, "Oh, god wanted another angel" is usually what the sobbing family says. What a horrible god. If he's able to bring up a child into heaven then he should be able to keep the child alive.

The son of Kansas Rep. Scott Schwab, Caleb, recently died on a water slide at Schlitterbahn's Water Park, here. Heard on the radio about his mother, Michelle, talking about how she knew she'd see him again in heaven, and I wanted to puke.

No, you won't.
I feel like if there wasn't this "oh well he's with gawd now" attitude, there would be more people wanting some accountability being placed on those responsible for having taken something away forever... like a fucking life! Angry

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