Atheist guilt??
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03-07-2013, 09:16 PM
Atheist guilt??
I'm very new to the board and have only posted an introduction. A lot of the background of my story is there.

I've recently reconnected with a lot of my old friends on Facebook. Some of which I haven't talked to in 15-20 years. They are all from Kentucky. I've come out to a few of them with my Atheism. The reactions have been genuine curiosity and shoulder shrugging, but mostly deep offense. I'm not a very confrontational person, which doesn't help. But I very much want to be myself. It's funny, I know I have the logical arguments on my side, I'm very comfortable with my worldview, but I feel so bad about offending my old friends.

I feel like I'm on the fence of just putting it out there and seeing what happens or just keeping my mouth shut. I don't want to just deactivate my Facebook account because I have a few friends that I like keeping up with that way.

Any suggestions about how to proceed?

BBB
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03-07-2013, 09:53 PM
RE: Atheist guilt??
(03-07-2013 09:16 PM)bedbugbrain Wrote:  I'm very new to the board and have only posted an introduction. A lot of the background of my story is there.

I've recently reconnected with a lot of my old friends on Facebook. Some of which I haven't talked to in 15-20 years. They are all from Kentucky. I've come out to a few of them with my Atheism. The reactions have been genuine curiosity and shoulder shrugging, but mostly deep offense. I'm not a very confrontational person, which doesn't help. But I very much want to be myself. It's funny, I know I have the logical arguments on my side, I'm very comfortable with my worldview, but I feel so bad about offending my old friends.

I feel like I'm on the fence of just putting it out there and seeing what happens or just keeping my mouth shut. I don't want to just deactivate my Facebook account because I have a few friends that I like keeping up with that way.

Any suggestions about how to proceed?

BBB

Well, ultimately you got to weigh the options and go with your gut on how bad the risks are and how good the rewards are. That's subjective, and we can't answer it for you.

Bear in mind there's more options than just "in the closet" or "out of the closet". You can be open without advertising. You can be honest if anyone asks but not feel a need to bring it up if they don't.

For those who are offended (and don't immediately put you on ignore or inspire you to put them on ignore), try to get to the root of the problem. Which isn't why they believe or why you don't or which of you is right or wrong, but why your own beliefs (or absence thereof) should trigger offense in them.

"If I ignore the alternatives, the only option is God; I ignore them; therefore God." -- The Syllogism of Fail
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03-07-2013, 11:23 PM
RE: Atheist guilt??
(03-07-2013 09:16 PM)bedbugbrain Wrote:  I'm very new to the board and have only posted an introduction. A lot of the background of my story is there.

I've recently reconnected with a lot of my old friends on Facebook. Some of which I haven't talked to in 15-20 years. They are all from Kentucky. I've come out to a few of them with my Atheism. The reactions have been genuine curiosity and shoulder shrugging, but mostly deep offense. I'm not a very confrontational person, which doesn't help. But I very much want to be myself. It's funny, I know I have the logical arguments on my side, I'm very comfortable with my worldview, but I feel so bad about offending my old friends.

I feel like I'm on the fence of just putting it out there and seeing what happens or just keeping my mouth shut. I don't want to just deactivate my Facebook account because I have a few friends that I like keeping up with that way.

Any suggestions about how to proceed?

BBB

I would proceed like this. Make a new account for atheism with a nick name. Many atheists in my area have one profile for friends, family and their jobs. While having a separate account to be an atheist with.

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The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
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04-07-2013, 05:35 AM
RE: Atheist guilt??
(03-07-2013 11:23 PM)fstratzero Wrote:  
(03-07-2013 09:16 PM)bedbugbrain Wrote:  I'm very new to the board and have only posted an introduction. A lot of the background of my story is there.

I've recently reconnected with a lot of my old friends on Facebook. Some of which I haven't talked to in 15-20 years. They are all from Kentucky. I've come out to a few of them with my Atheism. The reactions have been genuine curiosity and shoulder shrugging, but mostly deep offense. I'm not a very confrontational person, which doesn't help. But I very much want to be myself. It's funny, I know I have the logical arguments on my side, I'm very comfortable with my worldview, but I feel so bad about offending my old friends.

I feel like I'm on the fence of just putting it out there and seeing what happens or just keeping my mouth shut. I don't want to just deactivate my Facebook account because I have a few friends that I like keeping up with that way.

Any suggestions about how to proceed?

BBB

I would proceed like this. Make a new account for atheism with a nick name. Many atheists in my area have one profile for friends, family and their jobs. While having a separate account to be an atheist with.

Hmm. I didn't even know you could do that. I'll check that option out.
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04-07-2013, 05:39 AM
RE: Atheist guilt??
(03-07-2013 09:53 PM)Reltzik Wrote:  
(03-07-2013 09:16 PM)bedbugbrain Wrote:  I'm very new to the board and have only posted an introduction. A lot of the background of my story is there.

I've recently reconnected with a lot of my old friends on Facebook. Some of which I haven't talked to in 15-20 years. They are all from Kentucky. I've come out to a few of them with my Atheism. The reactions have been genuine curiosity and shoulder shrugging, but mostly deep offense. I'm not a very confrontational person, which doesn't help. But I very much want to be myself. It's funny, I know I have the logical arguments on my side, I'm very comfortable with my worldview, but I feel so bad about offending my old friends.

I feel like I'm on the fence of just putting it out there and seeing what happens or just keeping my mouth shut. I don't want to just deactivate my Facebook account because I have a few friends that I like keeping up with that way.

Any suggestions about how to proceed?

BBB

Well, ultimately you got to weigh the options and go with your gut on how bad the risks are and how good the rewards are. That's subjective, and we can't answer it for you.

Bear in mind there's more options than just "in the closet" or "out of the closet". You can be open without advertising. You can be honest if anyone asks but not feel a need to bring it up if they don't.

For those who are offended (and don't immediately put you on ignore or inspire you to put them on ignore), try to get to the root of the problem. Which isn't why they believe or why you don't or which of you is right or wrong, but why your own beliefs (or absence thereof) should trigger offense in them.
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04-07-2013, 05:41 AM
RE: Atheist guilt??
I've kind of decided to tip my toe in and show my hand. I appreciate your advice Relzik but I think you are way to optimistic.
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04-07-2013, 05:49 AM
RE: Atheist guilt??
(03-07-2013 11:23 PM)fstratzero Wrote:  
(03-07-2013 09:16 PM)bedbugbrain Wrote:  I'm very new to the board and have only posted an introduction. A lot of the background of my story is there.

I've recently reconnected with a lot of my old friends on Facebook. Some of which I haven't talked to in 15-20 years. They are all from Kentucky. I've come out to a few of them with my Atheism. The reactions have been genuine curiosity and shoulder shrugging, but mostly deep offense. I'm not a very confrontational person, which doesn't help. But I very much want to be myself. It's funny, I know I have the logical arguments on my side, I'm very comfortable with my worldview, but I feel so bad about offending my old friends.

I feel like I'm on the fence of just putting it out there and seeing what happens or just keeping my mouth shut. I don't want to just deactivate my Facebook account because I have a few friends that I like keeping up with that way.

Any suggestions about how to proceed?

BBB

I would proceed like this. Make a new account for atheism with a nick name. Many atheists in my area have one profile for friends, family and their jobs. While having a separate account to be an atheist with.

Do that ^
It will save you a ton of fb misery

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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04-07-2013, 07:25 AM
RE: Atheist guilt??
Personally, I use the same account, but I have a restricted list, so that "friends only" post only appear to people NOT on my restricted list. That being said, I am pretty open anyway, and they still see when I post comments on things, etc.

The main problem is that people want to make atheists feel guilty and they haven't done a damn thing wrong, they've only been honest. Many theists take offense that other people don't think exactly the same. For me, I get pissed off that they are pissed off, and I don't mind if they never talk to me again, I consider it good riddance. But 2 FB profiles could be a solution, also. You should go to the privacy settings if you do that, and make it so you don't show up in search results, too, I think. That way people only find the profile you want them to find.
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04-07-2013, 02:04 PM
RE: Atheist guilt??
I know how you feel. Today I've been in an argument with a Facebook friend because I commented on one of his posts, correcting his misinformation (political rather than religious, though it doubt it would have gone differently if it had been religious in nature). He deleted my comments and claimed that he "wanted to avoid a shitstorm of debate", though it's clear that he just wanted to avoid embarrassment (I even cited a government website with information that discredits his evidence).

You never have to be embarrassed when you're right. If your family and/or friends don't like what you have to say, they ought to have the right to exercise their free speech and make an argument of their own. Never let anyone diminish or limit your free speech, even if it offends them. If free speech was never offensive, we wouldn't need speech to be "free".

It couldn't hurt to have an ally, either. Feel free to add me (Supernova Kasprzak) as a Facebook friend. Smile

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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04-07-2013, 05:38 PM
RE: Atheist guilt??
This may not be the advice you want to hear, but here it is anyway. When I used to be a Christian, I could never have broken a friendship because a friend told me they were an atheist. If anything, I might have tried to pray for them or something, but they would never have known it had affected me even in that way. From their perspective, they would see no change from me. So now as an atheist, whenever someone shuts the door on my friendship because they found out I'm an atheist, I say good riddance (inwardly) because they obviously were never really my friend to begin with. True friends will stay true friends regardless.

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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