Atheist marriage and wedding vows
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09-09-2013, 07:31 AM
Atheist marriage and wedding vows
I'm sure this has been talked about on here already, but I want to hear opinions on atheist marriages and wedding vows.

Me and my husband got married as Christians last December and now we're baby atheists lol. We're trying to figure out what our vows that we made before god mean to us now that we don't believe in god.

I've been pretty insecure about all the change that comes with not believing. Me and my husband really love each other and want to be a family. We need to figure out what marriage is without god!

So what are your opinions? What vows can married people make to each other when they no longer believe they're union is "holy"?

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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09-09-2013, 07:43 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
well, I think marriage is far more valuable when there isn't some higher power forcing you two to stay together, that way the vows are renewed every single day.

Now your marriage is "holy" not because you said some nice words in front of some priest some time ago, it's "holy" because you join forces to make your lives, and by connection other people's lives, better and happier.


ugggh... I need to go buy some sour candy now

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09-09-2013, 07:46 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
I'm not sure it has been talked about before, at least not in those terms.

Check out the early concept of marriage and you'll see that the idea came about long before the church (catholic only in those days) decided there was money in it by making it all kinda holy and such.

Read up on the vows people made to each other pre-medieval era.

In the end, what is marriage?

It's a commitment / contract / Service Level Agreement (SLA) for a Strategic Partnership.

There's the legal bit and the relationship bit.

It's therefore, whatever you both want it to be.

When writing SLAs, there are usually clauses covering:
Availability
Capacity
Security
Continuity
... amongst other things like pricing but let's not go there.

So ...
For how long, how often, how much and how well are you going to love each other in good times and when it gets tough?



Disclaimer:
Any and all marital consulting advice and guidance is expressed as 'opinion' only and not specific 'recommendations' that might be used later in a court of law.

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09-09-2013, 07:50 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
awww DLJ, you're a sweety pie aren't you? trying to hide your empathy with reason and stuff Tongue

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09-09-2013, 07:54 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
(09-09-2013 07:50 AM)nach_in Wrote:  awww DLJ, you're a sweety pie aren't you? trying to hide your empathy with reason and stuff Tongue

Hehehe.

Do you see a purple background?
Thought not.

Tongue

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09-09-2013, 07:57 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
Your vows are more important now than they were as Christians. They carry more meaning without god, not less.

That's because now the vows you made are to each other, not some outside entity like god. Congratulations. Your marriage now has REAL meaning that goes beyond myth and fantasy.

I can't remember my vows word for word, but their meaning is easy to remember because I live them every day.

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09-09-2013, 08:40 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
Wow, a lot to think about! I'm very encouraged though. Can't wait to read these to my husband tonight! Smile It's so hard to get what you've been taught your whole entire life about marriage out of your head!!

Marriage really doesn't even matter at the end of the day; what matters is that Joe (my husband) is my family and I love him. (sorry for the gush) lol Wink

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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09-09-2013, 09:24 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
(09-09-2013 08:40 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Wow, a lot to think about! I'm very encouraged though. Can't wait to read these to my husband tonight! Smile It's so hard to get what you've been taught your whole entire life about marriage out of your head!!

Marriage really doesn't even matter at the end of the day; what matters is that Joe (my husband) is my family and I love him. (sorry for the gush) lol Wink

Gush away. Thumbsup

Love is good.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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09-09-2013, 09:34 AM
RE: Atheist marriage and wedding vows
(09-09-2013 07:31 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  I'm sure this has been talked about on here already, but I want to hear opinions on atheist marriages and wedding vows.

Me and my husband got married as Christians last December and now we're baby atheists lol. We're trying to figure out what our vows that we made before god mean to us now that we don't believe in god.

I've been pretty insecure about all the change that comes with not believing. Me and my husband really love each other and want to be a family. We need to figure out what marriage is without god!

So what are your opinions? What vows can married people make to each other when they no longer believe they're union is "holy"?
I guess most vows can be converted to something secular. Just remove the religious language.
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