Attending funerals as an atheist
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16-12-2012, 03:35 AM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
(15-12-2012 04:57 PM)Janus Wrote:  
(14-12-2012 07:03 PM)Thinkerbelle Wrote:  I'm supposed to attend a "1 - 2 hour" mass tomorrow for a distant by-marriage relative, an RC who was cremated. As tempting as it might be to watch a priest go nutso over an urn, I can't stomach that level of inanity for that long. I think I'm busy tomorrow.



An RC mass for someone who was cremated? Wow! That's a dissident parish! Don't let the Vatican find out!


I think at this point they would let anything slide to gain attendance.
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16-12-2012, 03:51 AM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
I'm gonna say the same thing I said in a funeral thread much like this ages ago.

It's a fucking funeral, hold your tongue and suck it up. There is a time and a place, funeral is not one of them.

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16-12-2012, 02:18 PM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
(16-12-2012 03:51 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  I'm gonna say the same thing I said in a funeral thread much like this ages ago.

It's a fucking funeral, hold your tongue and suck it up. There is a time and a place, funeral is not one of them.
This was not a funeral, it was a regularly-scheduled mass with a bonus memorial side show or whatever they call it. It was for a man I had met only once, briefly, although we are distantly related by marriage. While I would never cause a scene in any formal ceremony out of respect for the participants, they do tend to make my ears ring as my blood pressure rises. I generally come home, unload on my hubby, kick the dog, and regain my composure over an adult beverage. Or three.

I didn't go. It would have been very inconvenient (although not insurmountable) to make the selected time, and plain out I didn't want to go. They probably didn't miss me, and they're aware I'm not RC so I expect they will understand.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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16-12-2012, 08:29 PM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
(14-12-2012 07:33 PM)Ghost Wrote:  Hey, fst.

Quote:So much god talk you hardly have the time to actually feel like being sad and letting go.

I have a natural aversion to institutions so I'm not saying that I enjoy sermons, but I think the important thing to remember is that for many of these people, who they were in life is inextricable from their relationship with God. To deny their relationship with God in death is to deny their life.

It makes me think of someone who doesn't condone homosexuality with a gay relative. If in death, they deny that part of their life because it makes them uncomfortable... well, that just doesn't sit right with me.

I have a devout friend. Nicest guy in the universe. For real. There is no such thing as someone who dislikes this man. And I can't imagine a funeral (he's got decades left, knock wood) that didn't celebrate his relationship with God. That would be a total denial of who he was as a person.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
Feeling the need to explain further my position.

I know too many theists and have attended their funerals. It's uncomfortable, annoying, and leaves me with a feeling of ostracization.

If anybody talks to me, I simply talk about my memories of that person. I am polite and let them have their delusions.

I'm not in total denial of a person when my memory recounts our experience together. Whether or not they believe is not a major concern to me since it's not their religion that defines them as I have had experienced them as a person. No matter how devout I've had a lot of fun with christians doing many other things, other than talking about religion. So I don't deny what I didn't experience with them.

Additionally if they were religious and the family wants a religious funeral, who cares? The funeral is for the living anyways. The dead don't seem to mind. Big Grin And I'll go if a friend needs me or if I feel like I have to pay my respects.

If I need an atheist to talk to, I find one who will endure my cry fest. Usually after a funeral or away from the theists so I don't offend them.

This is what I do. Any one could copy my method or reject it. Not a big deal, but merely sharing this as it might be helpful to somebody.

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The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
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17-12-2012, 08:15 AM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
I feel like my thread has been taken in the wrong spirit. I certainly didn't speak up or complain about anything, I just noticed these things to myself. As it was my first funeral since becoming an atheist, it was all new to me. I wasn't sure how I'd react, and honestly, I hadn't thought about the religious connotations beforehand. I just wanted to pay my respects to a quiet and reserved man who had touched me during the short time that I worked with him.

I apologize if I stepped on any toes. I just was caught off guard by my reaction to the event and didn't know if similar things went through y'alls heads during these kind of ceremonies. It was kind of an, "Am I alone in this feeling?" type of thread.

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17-12-2012, 08:20 AM
Attending funerals as an atheist
(17-12-2012 08:15 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I feel like my thread has been taken in the wrong spirit. I certainly didn't speak up or complain about anything, I just noticed these things to myself. As it was my first funeral since becoming an atheist, it was all new to me. I wasn't sure how I'd react, and honestly, I hadn't thought about the religious connotations beforehand. I just wanted to pay my respects to a quiet and reserved man who had touched me during the short time that I worked with him.

I apologize if I stepped on any toes. I just was caught off guard by my reaction to the event and didn't know if similar things went through y'alls heads during these kind of ceremonies. It was kind of an, "Am I alone in this feeling?" type of thread.

You don't need to apologize for what other people say. You'll quickly learn that opinions are like assholes around here: everybody's got one and some people can't help spreading their stink around.

There was nothing wrong with your observations or your post. Some people just don't read well *coughghostcough* and others just can't help but say stupid stuff to derail a thread *cougherxomaicough*.

So try not to be offended for very long.

Carry on. Drinking Beverage

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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17-12-2012, 10:54 AM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
HEY!

I red perfect. It's purple I have trouble with. Hi-Yo!

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
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17-12-2012, 11:29 AM
Attending funerals as an atheist
(17-12-2012 10:54 AM)Ghost Wrote:  HEY!

I red perfect. It's purple I have trouble with. Hi-Yo!

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt

That's what you get when your flag only has 2 colors. Drinking Beverage

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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17-12-2012, 12:40 PM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
(17-12-2012 08:20 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 08:15 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I feel like my thread has been taken in the wrong spirit. I certainly didn't speak up or complain about anything, I just noticed these things to myself. As it was my first funeral since becoming an atheist, it was all new to me. I wasn't sure how I'd react, and honestly, I hadn't thought about the religious connotations beforehand. I just wanted to pay my respects to a quiet and reserved man who had touched me during the short time that I worked with him.

I apologize if I stepped on any toes. I just was caught off guard by my reaction to the event and didn't know if similar things went through y'alls heads during these kind of ceremonies. It was kind of an, "Am I alone in this feeling?" type of thread.

You don't need to apologize for what other people say. You'll quickly learn that opinions are like assholes around here: everybody's got one and some people can't help spreading their stink around.

There was nothing wrong with your observations or your post. Some people just don't read well *coughghostcough* and others just can't help but say stupid stuff to derail a thread *cougherxomaicough*.

So try not to be offended for very long.

Carry on. Drinking Beverage
Okay. Cool. Thumbsup

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17-12-2012, 01:12 PM
RE: Attending funerals as an atheist
Last year one of my best friends died in a car accident. I attended both the memorial and funeral service. His father had the gull to insult unbelievers at the funeral, saying he thought it was insane for anyone to believe that his son was not in a better place. I understand he was a grieving father, but it definitely soured me that, in the sad time, this trivial animosity towards infidels persists during a tragic moment.

I ignored it though, and continue to try to.

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