Attending my mother's Christian funeral
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
13-11-2013, 05:46 PM
RE: Attending my mother's Christian funeral
Just remember, you are honoring your mother's life. None of the rest matters right now.

And again, I am very sorry for your loss.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
13-11-2013, 07:54 PM
RE: Attending my mother's Christian funeral
(10-11-2013 07:56 PM)theirhouse Wrote:  This memorial service isn't about me. It's about my mother and I think that challenging or questioning any of the delusional rhetoric will cause hurt feelings and resentment. I particularly don't want to bring any more pain to my father at this time. At the same time, it is painful for me to remain silent at times like this. I suppose I'm looking for some advice and maybe some reassurance that my head is on straight.

I lost my brother earlier this year. Dude just dropped dead at 47 yo. I know he was an atheist and we had discussed many times that cremation was the only economically and even ecologically rational course. My mother knows I'm an atheist and she knew he was too. She gave him a proper Christian burial anyway. I kept my mouth shut, never even considered bringing it up. It wasn't about him anymore, he was past caring. It was about her. Be well and take care of your Dad.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like GirlyMan's post
13-11-2013, 11:18 PM
RE: Attending my mother's Christian funeral
My condolences to you and your family.

Many times, at funerals, the difference between a very sad, and consequently, very religious, service and one full of positive remembrances all starts with one family member. First and foremost, look out for your father. Try also to redirect the grief in a more positive and constructive way. In addition to shifting the focus off of where her soul is or isn't now, it will leave everyone with more positive feelings in the aftermath of her loss. When someone tries to console you with comments like "shesyin a better place now" you could either agree by saying that she had suffered long enough, or change the topic altogether by bringing up more positive memories. Funny stories always break the tension a little. Try to think of one that honors the best memories you have of your mother before her illness and share it when there is time to do so during the service. Now is not the time to argue semantics.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-11-2013, 12:26 AM
RE: Attending my mother's Christian funeral
Quote:This memorial service isn't about me. It's about my mother and I think that challenging or questioning any of the delusional rhetoric will cause hurt feelings and resentment.

There is a time and a place for everything and your instincts are sound, here. That would not be the time or the place.

My condolences. Both of my parents had dementia to one degree or another and all I can say is that they are indeed in a better place...and it sure as shit isn't "heaven."

[Image: reality.jpg?imgmax=800]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-11-2013, 04:07 AM
RE: Attending my mother's Christian funeral
First off, and most importantly, sorry for your loss.

This is a common theme for atheists. It's been discussed here several times. My personal stance on it it just to say 'thank you'. It recognizes their attempts at consolation without confirming that it does anything for you. Of course in situations like yours emotions are normally more important than logical approaches. Just do whatever you feel suits you best. Good luck in dealing with the death of your mother, please come back if you need to talk, or just feel like it.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: