Awkward Moments Children's Bible
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19-05-2015, 10:25 AM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(18-05-2015 12:43 PM)Tonechaser77 Wrote:  I will definitely be adding this to my children's collection of kids bibles.

Next problem to solve: Avoiding divorce. Big Grin

To avoid divorce:

1. Be a virgin.

2. Marry one.

3. Serve Christ.

4. If you're not a virgin, stay chaste now, wait for your spouse.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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19-05-2015, 10:30 AM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(19-05-2015 10:25 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(18-05-2015 12:43 PM)Tonechaser77 Wrote:  I will definitely be adding this to my children's collection of kids bibles.

Next problem to solve: Avoiding divorce. Big Grin

To avoid divorce:

1. Be a virgin.

2. Marry one.

3. Serve Christ.

4. If you're not a virgin, stay chaste now, wait for your spouse.

5. Follow the advice of some miserable internet troll Dodgy Pass. Fucking dickhead.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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19-05-2015, 04:05 PM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I am being honest here, but a few days ago, I thought about what length of discussion would be required to explain God making Adam, not only while explaining atoms, DNA, RNA, cell division, genetics, etc. but the super cool "freakin' laser beam" equipment (a little Austin Powers humor there if you please) or whatever He used to make Adam rapidly, without any gestation--which makes Jesus truly the "second Adam"...

[Image: nl3fcp.jpg]

I'm glad you thought about it Q; I really am. The length of to "proof" shouldn't matter. You could put this dog to bed once and for all. Show everyone up on here. All doubters and Nay Sayers. Hell if you came up with irrefutable proof i'm sure people would even help you get it previewed your name could change the direction of science. But instead of supplying this concrete evidence that you clam to have. You spout off bible verses.

So this leads me to conclude that either you thought of it, and came to realization you have nothing to back this up. Or your a crazy person.

So i would appreciate it. Since you've taken time to think about this. If you please elaborate on how you feel that atoms, DNA, RNA, "lasers" etc. have any relevance to a story about a clay man, and it's connection to another story about a god-man getting nailed to a cross.

And how Clay DNA is an answer to "How do you judge the difference between a story (like Pinocchio) that has a lot of the same elements as the bible?"

(08-05-2015 01:29 PM)Commonsensei Wrote:  In the story Pinocchio, an inanimate wooden puppet becomes "animate", and later a real boy. Pinocchio gets his life threw a magical fairy. Now I'm pretty sure you are familiar with this story, being a farther. And it also being a Disney classic. (If not; a must see.) Now we both (I assume) look at this story and see this is a work of fiction. But why? What if someone REALLY believed Pinocchio was real?
Both the bible and Pinocchio have.
Talking animals: Check
Something of the Earth Coming to life: Check
Magical being: Check
Moral distinctions: Check
People getting eaten by whales: Check
In the end get a grand reward for being good.: Check

Do you see where i'm going? What if instead of the blue faerie we said God was the one that gave life to Pinocchio? Dose that make this Pinocchio story true now? What if we never knew the author of Pinocchio and said god wrote them. Dose it make these events more realistic?


This could be the moment I convert back! You could save a soul. So please tell me in great detail. Show me clay that is capable of making a complex life form.

There is a catch thou. You can't sight the bible. It has to be testable, and falsifiable.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  ...as Paul wrote, because they are both miracle creations, and Eve unique also with Jesus (a woman from a man and then THE man from a virgin woman) - (see Romans 5 et al)...

Why should i care what Paul wrote?

As far as i'm conserend your just spouting gibberish.

If you want to just sight holy passages we can do that all across the board.

I could sight chapters from the Bhagavad Gītā. And say the universe came from Brahma's belly button flower. Then raddle off how flowers bear fruit much like the human female uterus. Or Man came from the Great BumBA as he vomited up everything on earth.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  ...and I felt that would make the Bible a) very long indeed before the third chapter could be completed but as importantly b) would be smoking gun evidence that the Bible was the Word of God, without question, having to be utterly accepted MORE as science evolved rather than LESS as man progressed (as was prophesied by Paul et al) and:

What?

please rewrite.

Smoking gun evidence would be Jesus Christ sitting next to me right now. Not a passage from a 2000 year old book full of nonsense.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I'm sorry, but God will always leave you JUST enough doubt/rope. IF there is a God, IF there is a Heaven, do you want them in your life now?


He left me enough rope to hang him with.

If there is a God. I need to know what it is, what it's capable of. If there is a Heaven I need to see that I would want to go there. An eternty of cloud hopping dosn't sound fun to me. Nor dose a eternity of constant praise. I have no reason to want it in my life. I'll settle for the things I do have.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I guess I'm saying that if the dust is enough for me (I see dust eventually when specimens die unless they experience fossilization) but not enough for you, we are right where God wants us for NOW. I hope one of us will be different LATER, of course. But don't put off until tomorrow what you ought to do today, please!

People see boats, and bunnies in clouds. It doesn't boats and bunnies come from clouds. Your probably using the same mindset that the ancient people where using however. This looks like this. There for it must be that!

This is not a Duck.
[Image: duck.png]

I doesn't quack like a duck, it doesn't walk like a duck, it doesn't fly like a duck. But you would still say it was a duck. What is it then? It's a collection of pixels, colors and shades that combine into an image that your brain interprets as a duck. It still doesn't make it a duck.

So what I'm saying you are welcome to your interpretation. But you would also be wrong.

Don't put off procrastination, do it today. ~ Ellen Degeneres

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  As an aside re: Paul and Peter. It is remarkable to me that the ancient world accepted a deluge but the Bible prophesied that later in time, scoffers would mock the Flood and etc. - shouldn't the Bible writers instead have said, "God is always right and no one mocks the deluge"...?

And it remarkable to me you think the ancient world had enough cumulated knowledge to understand things completely.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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19-05-2015, 10:05 PM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(19-05-2015 10:25 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(18-05-2015 12:43 PM)Tonechaser77 Wrote:  I will definitely be adding this to my children's collection of kids bibles.

Next problem to solve: Avoiding divorce. Big Grin

To avoid divorce:

1. Be a virgin.

2. Marry one.

3. Serve Christ.

4. If you're not a virgin, stay chaste now, wait for your spouse.

Fuck off with that crap. Millions if uppity Christians get divorced every year.

If you have children I genuinely pity them. The world we live in is real and harsh and they are going to grow up receiving your patty cake Jesus juice horseshit.
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19-05-2015, 10:10 PM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(22-04-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I am joining your stance and will do all I can to prevent Oklahomans from indoctrinating their children to love others as themselves via the Bible's injunction.

STFU and go away...geez you are an annoying pain in the ass.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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19-05-2015, 10:50 PM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(19-05-2015 10:25 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  To avoid divorce:
...
4. If you're not a virgin, stay chaste now, wait for your spouse.
What do any of these things have to do with marriage and divorce?
I do find Christianity's constant focus on sex to be really quite freaky.

My advise regarding avoidance of divorce would be:
1. Never forget that your partner is special, remind them often
2. Have trust, respect and faith in your partner
3. Don't take each other for granted
4. Have fun
5. Be patient, life isn't always a box of roses.

However, divorce isn't the worst thing that can happen. Sometimes it is the best thing Smile
People change, situations change, there's no point continuing to live a life of misery for the ideal of "avoiding divorce". There is no reason why divorce can't be a happy and joyous occassion for both parties.
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20-05-2015, 08:23 AM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(19-05-2015 10:50 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(19-05-2015 10:25 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  To avoid divorce:
...
4. If you're not a virgin, stay chaste now, wait for your spouse.
What do any of these things have to do with marriage and divorce?
I do find Christianity's constant focus on sex to be really quite freaky.

My advise regarding avoidance of divorce would be:
1. Never forget that your partner is special, remind them often
2. Have trust, respect and faith in your partner
3. Don't take each other for granted
4. Have fun
5. Be patient, life isn't always a box of roses.

However, divorce isn't the worst thing that can happen. Sometimes it is the best thing Smile
People change, situations change, there's no point continuing to live a life of misery for the ideal of "avoiding divorce". There is no reason why divorce can't be a happy and joyous occassion for both parties.

Trust, respect and faith are enhanced by moral purity.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
20-05-2015, 08:26 AM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(19-05-2015 04:05 PM)Commonsensei Wrote:  
(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I am being honest here, but a few days ago, I thought about what length of discussion would be required to explain God making Adam, not only while explaining atoms, DNA, RNA, cell division, genetics, etc. but the super cool "freakin' laser beam" equipment (a little Austin Powers humor there if you please) or whatever He used to make Adam rapidly, without any gestation--which makes Jesus truly the "second Adam"...

[Image: nl3fcp.jpg]

I'm glad you thought about it Q; I really am. The length of to "proof" shouldn't matter. You could put this dog to bed once and for all. Show everyone up on here. All doubters and Nay Sayers. Hell if you came up with irrefutable proof i'm sure people would even help you get it previewed your name could change the direction of science. But instead of supplying this concrete evidence that you clam to have. You spout off bible verses.

So this leads me to conclude that either you thought of it, and came to realization you have nothing to back this up. Or your a crazy person.

So i would appreciate it. Since you've taken time to think about this. If you please elaborate on how you feel that atoms, DNA, RNA, "lasers" etc. have any relevance to a story about a clay man, and it's connection to another story about a god-man getting nailed to a cross.

And how Clay DNA is an answer to "How do you judge the difference between a story (like Pinocchio) that has a lot of the same elements as the bible?"

(08-05-2015 01:29 PM)Commonsensei Wrote:  In the story Pinocchio, an inanimate wooden puppet becomes "animate", and later a real boy. Pinocchio gets his life threw a magical fairy. Now I'm pretty sure you are familiar with this story, being a farther. And it also being a Disney classic. (If not; a must see.) Now we both (I assume) look at this story and see this is a work of fiction. But why? What if someone REALLY believed Pinocchio was real?
Both the bible and Pinocchio have.
Talking animals: Check
Something of the Earth Coming to life: Check
Magical being: Check
Moral distinctions: Check
People getting eaten by whales: Check
In the end get a grand reward for being good.: Check

Do you see where i'm going? What if instead of the blue faerie we said God was the one that gave life to Pinocchio? Dose that make this Pinocchio story true now? What if we never knew the author of Pinocchio and said god wrote them. Dose it make these events more realistic?


This could be the moment I convert back! You could save a soul. So please tell me in great detail. Show me clay that is capable of making a complex life form.

There is a catch thou. You can't sight the bible. It has to be testable, and falsifiable.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  ...as Paul wrote, because they are both miracle creations, and Eve unique also with Jesus (a woman from a man and then THE man from a virgin woman) - (see Romans 5 et al)...

Why should i care what Paul wrote?

As far as i'm conserend your just spouting gibberish.

If you want to just sight holy passages we can do that all across the board.

I could sight chapters from the Bhagavad Gītā. And say the universe came from Brahma's belly button flower. Then raddle off how flowers bear fruit much like the human female uterus. Or Man came from the Great BumBA as he vomited up everything on earth.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  ...and I felt that would make the Bible a) very long indeed before the third chapter could be completed but as importantly b) would be smoking gun evidence that the Bible was the Word of God, without question, having to be utterly accepted MORE as science evolved rather than LESS as man progressed (as was prophesied by Paul et al) and:

What?

please rewrite.

Smoking gun evidence would be Jesus Christ sitting next to me right now. Not a passage from a 2000 year old book full of nonsense.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I'm sorry, but God will always leave you JUST enough doubt/rope. IF there is a God, IF there is a Heaven, do you want them in your life now?


He left me enough rope to hang him with.

If there is a God. I need to know what it is, what it's capable of. If there is a Heaven I need to see that I would want to go there. An eternty of cloud hopping dosn't sound fun to me. Nor dose a eternity of constant praise. I have no reason to want it in my life. I'll settle for the things I do have.

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I guess I'm saying that if the dust is enough for me (I see dust eventually when specimens die unless they experience fossilization) but not enough for you, we are right where God wants us for NOW. I hope one of us will be different LATER, of course. But don't put off until tomorrow what you ought to do today, please!

People see boats, and bunnies in clouds. It doesn't boats and bunnies come from clouds. Your probably using the same mindset that the ancient people where using however. This looks like this. There for it must be that!

This is not a Duck.
[Image: duck.png]

I doesn't quack like a duck, it doesn't walk like a duck, it doesn't fly like a duck. But you would still say it was a duck. What is it then? It's a collection of pixels, colors and shades that combine into an image that your brain interprets as a duck. It still doesn't make it a duck.

So what I'm saying you are welcome to your interpretation. But you would also be wrong.

Don't put off procrastination, do it today. ~ Ellen Degeneres

(18-05-2015 10:52 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  As an aside re: Paul and Peter. It is remarkable to me that the ancient world accepted a deluge but the Bible prophesied that later in time, scoffers would mock the Flood and etc. - shouldn't the Bible writers instead have said, "God is always right and no one mocks the deluge"...?

And it remarkable to me you think the ancient world had enough cumulated knowledge to understand things completely.

1. Thanks for posting a link to my mini-concert for Jean-Luc. We Q know how to party hearty.

Quote:Smoking gun evidence would be Jesus Christ sitting next to me right now.

2. Not at all, no how, no way, no sir. You could sit next to Jesus on a park bench in Savannah, Georgia and offer him your box of chocolates, and then after He leaves, call your best skeptic friend and say, "Dear God, what a hallucination I've just experienced."

Your best evidence would be fulfillment of prophecy. Is it testable, falsifiable, that Jesus fulfilled prophecy not just way back when but that Bible prophecy is seen fulfilled in our modern day?

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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20-05-2015, 08:32 AM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(20-05-2015 08:23 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  Trust, respect and faith are enhanced by moral purity.

Moral purity huh? Fuck you, you judgmental dick.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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20-05-2015, 09:23 AM
RE: Awkward Moments Children's Bible
(20-05-2015 08:23 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(19-05-2015 10:50 PM)Stevil Wrote:  What do any of these things have to do with marriage and divorce?
I do find Christianity's constant focus on sex to be really quite freaky.

My advise regarding avoidance of divorce would be:
1. Never forget that your partner is special, remind them often
2. Have trust, respect and faith in your partner
3. Don't take each other for granted
4. Have fun
5. Be patient, life isn't always a box of roses.

However, divorce isn't the worst thing that can happen. Sometimes it is the best thing Smile
People change, situations change, there's no point continuing to live a life of misery for the ideal of "avoiding divorce". There is no reason why divorce can't be a happy and joyous occassion for both parties.

Trust, respect and faith are enhanced by moral purity.

Ah, here again is your self righteous prick attitude showing. So it is immoral to have sex before marriage, whether that happens at 23 or 83 years old? So virgins who marry have a lower overall divorce rate? Please stop following the rules and ideology of primitive, oppressive, and ignorant people - it is 2015 FFS!

“Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday, singing, yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I believe in my heart that what goes up, up, up, must come down, down, down. Amen! If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about it.”
— Dan Barker —
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