Baby Jesus
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08-12-2014, 03:30 PM
Baby Jesus
A question that hasn't been answered by my christian friends:

There's a Baby Jesus and there is an adult Jesus but where is Teenage Jesus?
AFAIK there are no churches for Teenage Jesus, are there? Why is that Huh?

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08-12-2014, 03:40 PM
RE: Baby Jesus
Jesus was going through a bit of a rebellious phase during his teenage years.
Hormones and an increased sense of self importance.
Nobody worships teenage Jesus because he spent his teenage years in his bedroom with the door closed and the music up so we don't know what he did. I mean we have a fair enough idea of what he was up too but that's not really something you worship ya know... Better to stick with innocent baby Jesus or water turning to wine Jesus.
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08-12-2014, 03:46 PM
RE: Baby Jesus
(08-12-2014 03:30 PM)KVron Wrote:  A question that hasn't been answered by my christian friends:

There's a Baby Jesus and there is an adult Jesus but where is Teenage Jesus?
AFAIK there are no churches for Teenage Jesus, are there? Why is that Huh?

In some of the apocryphal literature Jesus is claimed to have been practising some of his miracles..............actually he wasn't too pleasant, as the story goes, bumping off another youngster who bumped into him.
Some of this stuff is to be found in St Thomas's writings/
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08-12-2014, 04:45 PM
RE: Baby Jesus
You mean you don't know?????

With the gold he got for his birthday from the Three Wise Guys, Mary and Joe Christ sent him off to boarding school in Nepal where as a teenager he learned to make kites, string beads and play the lute.

He did quite well on the lute but kites befuddled him. At the age of 16 while running with a kite in an effort to get the damn thing in the air he tripped over a goat and gored himself in the ass.

While in recovery a Napali girl gave him his first blow job along with a long lingering kiss. This wowed him but word got back to his parents that he was diddling the girl, a non jew, and they brought him back to learn the carpentry trade. He wasn't any good at that either so he took to doing magic tricks on the street corner and babbling about god........

........the rest is non history.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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08-12-2014, 06:26 PM
RE: Baby Jesus
Adult Jesus is already immature, confused, and entitled, Teen Jesus would be redundant.

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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09-12-2014, 08:08 AM
RE: Baby Jesus
I could only imagine what teenage Jesus would be up to, he could turn water into wine, could you imagine the parties he could have had when his parents were out of town?

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Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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09-12-2014, 08:13 AM
RE: Baby Jesus
Because childhood and teenage Jesus was too busy killing his best friends and bringing them back to life.. or arguing with scholars on the best ways to construct whips.

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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09-12-2014, 08:48 AM
RE: Baby Jesus
(08-12-2014 03:30 PM)KVron Wrote:  A question that hasn't been answered by my christian friends:

There's a Baby Jesus and there is an adult Jesus but where is Teenage Jesus?
AFAIK there are no churches for Teenage Jesus, are there? Why is that Huh?

That is because he was always beating off in his dad's tool shed. Which could of course be taken "out of context" and we wouldn't want that now would we?

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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