Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
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03-01-2016, 01:56 PM
Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
So, I have been in college years and this year is my clinical semester. Do save money I will be staying home instead of staying on campus. The problem is my mother has decided that she wants to have bible study or try and find a new church now that I am home. She used to go to a megachurch and she got tried of the way they did things. She hasn't been going but now that I am home she wants to "give good his worship" with me. I was done with religion in high school but I was still trying to find something to hold onto. the last couple of years I have stopped bsing myself and I was part of the newly made Secular Students Alliance. But now I am home mom is giving me the choice of us going to some church or having a personal bible study. I can't figure out which one would be worse. I don't know how to break it to her but I also don't know if I can keep my mouth shut if I am asked point blank questions abut that horror story.
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03-01-2016, 02:19 PM
RE: Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
Do you think telling people that you like to keep your beliefs to yourself could keep them from asking any further questions?

If you go with your mom to church, I mean. To keep from causing an argument with the person whose roof you plan to save money by living under! And if you're IN the church with mom, who'd think to question any further than you wanting to keep your "faith" inside... you're in a church for christ's sake.

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03-01-2016, 02:43 PM
RE: Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
Can't you tell her to let you finish studying at Uni first? Before you study something else? Maybe buy you time to think.

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03-01-2016, 04:20 PM
RE: Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
It's your choice, of course, but maybe consider "when is the right time to live the life of your true self" and go from there.

I have no time or energy to give to dishonesty or masquerade. I live my own true life now and always. It's easier and the personal honesty is very satisfying. However, I have lived my secularity for all my life and have had little to lose because of it, so I might not have the appropriate understanding of what you might face.

Only you can evaluate your risks but you may want to ask yourself: Will you be happy with the subterfuge? Are you using or abusing your relationship to meet your own needs? Do you feel satisfied that what you choose will be a moral choice or just a beneficial one?

You don't need religion to make moral choices but you do need some reflection.

Congrats on getting through school. Hope it works out for you. Peace Smile

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03-01-2016, 07:08 PM
RE: Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
(03-01-2016 01:56 PM)Beteljuice01 Wrote:  So, I have been in college years and this year is my clinical semester. Do save money I will be staying home instead of staying on campus. The problem is my mother has decided that she wants to have bible study or try and find a new church now that I am home. She used to go to a megachurch and she got tried of the way they did things. She hasn't been going but now that I am home she wants to "give good his worship" with me. I was done with religion in high school but I was still trying to find something to hold onto. the last couple of years I have stopped bsing myself and I was part of the newly made Secular Students Alliance. But now I am home mom is giving me the choice of us going to some church or having a personal bible study. I can't figure out which one would be worse. I don't know how to break it to her but I also don't know if I can keep my mouth shut if I am asked point blank questions abut that horror story.

Say, "Yes Mom I will study the Bible with you"and the do so. Read it for what it says instead of asking some pastor to explain what it is trying to say. Start with Genesis and ask her if she believes that shit? And go on to Exodus and go over the stories there and ask her if she finds them believable etc.. You'll come to the lis of meats that you can and cannot, ask her if she is into that, no bacon because God said so, and on and on.
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03-01-2016, 07:24 PM
RE: Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
"Hey, Mom - neither, I'm an atheist."

That should do nicely. Thumbsup

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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04-01-2016, 09:09 AM
RE: Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
Given the choices, I'd choose to go to church. At least then, I'd have the chance to possibly meet like-minded people. If you stay home and do bible study, then you'll be stuck listening to your mother's views for however long she decides to carry this on.

Then again, if you choose bible study, you can start subtly challenging her views and ask her to justify some of her biblical interpretations. When she starts to process some of your objections, it might make it easier for her to understand why you've chosen not to believe in her faith.

-As you raise objections to your mother, she may fire back with some decent sounding arguments. There are plenty of people on this forum from varied religious and educational backgrounds who can help you construct counter arguments to solidify your position.

Best of luck in whatever you choose.
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04-01-2016, 09:56 AM
RE: Back home from college and I don't know what to do.
Seriously, dude, just man up and tell her. She has no right to force this on you.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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