Be careful in whom you confide
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03-12-2013, 08:24 PM
Be careful in whom you confide
Even if you think you can trust someone... you think they're cool, maybe a liberal Christian or perhaps a closet agnostic. Don't assume that your coming out to them won't affect your relationship.

I'm fairly certain I destroyed a perfectly good working relationship tonight by sharing my nonbelief. On one hand, I want to shout it from the hilltops in the hopes that I can help end this stigma that nonbelievers are the devil. Selfishly, I most often keep it to myself. The events of tonight confirm that the latter is definitely the easier route.
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03-12-2013, 08:34 PM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
I keep it quiet for the most part too. Especially at work. I've evaded some questions too. Only by simply answering no when asked if I was catholic (it was a casual conversation, no pressure). I have to say I probably wouldn't lie if asked directly if I was an atheist, but I'm probably not going to come out and share it.

my family and friends do know. So you could say I only share this with people I'm really close with. So far, no issues, even from those that are pretty religious.

Basically I feel your pain, I'm not a person that really enjoys conflict of debating. Especially when it comes to religion.
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04-12-2013, 08:12 AM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
A Rule I live by: If they are not willing to accept you for you, regardless of your belief, they were never your friend in the first place.

I'm very open about my non-belief, I've had family members call CPS on my family, I've had death threats, I've had threats against my children...

But my friends who know me, accept me. Most of them at least, those who didn't I quickly cut out of my life because they were not worth it.

Don't let them bring you down, don't let them dictate how you live your life. If you are happy with your non-belief then that is what matters and you should not be ashamed to tell people what you believe.

Shock And Awe Tactics-- The "application of massive or overwhelming force" to "disarm, incapacitate, or render the enemy impotent with as few casualties to ourselves and to noncombatants as possible"
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04-12-2013, 08:16 AM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
Yes. People can sometimes surprise you and not always in a good way.

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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04-12-2013, 06:52 PM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
Thanks all. In the light of day, and after chatting with my business associate again this morning, I think the relationship (the business side of it, anyway) is still salvageable. The hard part is that I considered him a friend and a confidante, and that part of our relationship appears to be over.
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04-12-2013, 07:00 PM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
That is sad to hear mitch.
I was training this guy at work the other day, and he asked me straight up: what religion are you?
I said "atheist". It was the first time I've said it out loud.
He was floored that I said I was an atheist. I thought he was gay, but it turns out he has a wife and is quite religious (my gaydar is horrible) He spent a bunch of time trying to convert me and threw all the subjective stuff for me to try, and I would "know God is real". Turns out he got fired the same day within a few hours. It was funny/sad that his deity couldnt help him keep his job.
I live in a very liberal city where its ok to say it. I feel for you comrades in the south/midwest.

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
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04-12-2013, 07:07 PM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
You need to let your theist friends think your ripe for reconversion.
The arguments they use to bring you to christ will ultimately expose them to the hypocracy.

This is how Matt Dillahunty became an atheist, by trying to convert his atheist room mate.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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04-12-2013, 09:19 PM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
I did the same for quite some time. Eventually, it get's be too much, or at least it did for me. I finally built the courage up to post it on facebook, and after you get it out in public, it isn't so bad. I was in the closet for 2 years. Surprisingly, I haven't lost many friends. What I did was just not talk about it with friends unless they brought religion up. If you do come out, try not to be too paranoid. Almost anything believers say it's easy to see as religious and anti-atheist, but usually it's not intentional. Hope you'll come out, but if you can't that's totally understandable!

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. -Laurence J. Peter
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04-12-2013, 10:44 PM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
I know how you feel. I am actually still very much in the closet. I came out to my closest friends, all 5 of them (they might b my only friends) and my new friend who I'm still not sure about. Anyways. 2 of them are atheist/agnostic so it went well with them. We laughed and acted like it almost never happened. But my best friend is highly religious and has been constantly trying to get me to do things. And he has slowed down in taking to me and our relationship is falling apart. Coming out is a pain and doesn't have really any good side effects. But it does relieve a load of ur chest and make u feel better about yourself. It just does. I say come out. I'm slowing doing it. It's worked well to my favor. Little arguments. If any it's funny arguments. You just make sure it's on your own terms and you don't back down. All I can say. Do not take any pressure. This is just my personal experience. Yours is very different. Have fun and take care my friend.
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05-12-2013, 03:47 AM
RE: Be careful in whom you confide
mitch,

I'm glad you've been able to resolve this to some degree, so that the business side of your relationship is still alright. I hope it gets better in time.
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