Being in relationship with theist
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05-08-2016, 03:14 PM
Being in relationship with theist
This post is mainly for those of you who are in relationship with believers. I need your advice, but most importantly, I need to know how the hell you make it work. I just don't think I can do this anymore, the amount of stupidity that comes from my boyfriends mouth it just baffles my mind. He was watching some stupid documentary, a propaganda crap that makes Islam look good, we started arguing about the gender equality in Islam. Mind you, he doesn't know I'm atheist, for that reason I have to be very careful what I say to him. He is very secular and doesn't know shit about religion, but he thinks he has everything figured out, which is probably even more annoying. He comes up with argument something in lines of "the word men and women are both mentioned 23 times in the Quran, which shows both genders are equal in the eyes of Allah"

Of courseeeeee, Allah also claims that men are superior to women, men have more authority then women, men are twice as trustworthy as women, not to mention women are buried deeper in Islam then men, due to in Allah's eyes women sin more then men and the list goes on and on.

My blood was boiling, I don't know how I controlled my self. We've been together for almost 4 years, and I have never been so close to throwing his shit out the window. Lucky for him, I had to leave for work, other wise, I would have hit him in the head with a shovel.

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05-08-2016, 04:05 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
hard to reconcile the shovel to the head thing Izel. You have my advice but it's not too helpful. The only upside to it is, it keeps you out of jail for farm tool crimes.
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05-08-2016, 04:10 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
What do you think will make you happier, staying with him and continue supressing your thoughts and biting your tongue regarding religion OR finding a like minded person where you don’t have to?

I guess the third option is de-converting him but somehow I don’t think that will end well.
Do not do the shovel thing!

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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05-08-2016, 04:12 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist



Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

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05-08-2016, 04:40 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
(05-08-2016 04:10 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  What do you think will make you happier, staying with him and continue supressing your thoughts and biting your tongue regarding religion OR finding a like minded person where you don’t have to?

I guess the third option is de-converting him but somehow I don’t think that will end well.
Do not do the shovel thing!

You just made shovel sound a lot more easier Laugh out load. I don't even know what would make me happier anymore. I just wish he wasn't that naive. He's pretty though, and only time he's Muslim is going to mosque 2 times a year during eid prayer, and fasting during the month of Ramadan. That though, is more of a tradition for us now days then a religion. Other than that, he is clueless in Islam and Quran Facepalm

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05-08-2016, 05:12 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
(05-08-2016 03:14 PM)izel Wrote:  This post is mainly for those of you who are in relationship with believers. I need your advice, but most importantly, I need to know how the hell you make it work. I just don't think I can do this anymore, the amount of stupidity that comes from my boyfriends mouth it just baffles my mind. He was watching some stupid documentary, a propaganda crap that makes Islam look good, we started arguing about the gender equality in Islam. Mind you, he doesn't know I'm atheist, for that reason I have to be very careful what I say to him. He is very secular and doesn't know shit about religion, but he thinks he has everything figured out, which is probably even more annoying. He comes up with argument something in lines of "the word men and women are both mentioned 23 times in the Quran, which shows both genders are equal in the eyes of Allah"

Of courseeeeee, Allah also claims that men are superior to women, men have more authority then women, men are twice as trustworthy as women, not to mention women are buried deeper in Islam then men, due to in Allah's eyes women sin more then men and the list goes on and on.

My blood was boiling, I don't know how I controlled my self. We've been together for almost 4 years, and I have never been so close to throwing his shit out the window. Lucky for him, I had to leave for work, other wise, I would have hit him in the head with a shovel.

How high is the window?

Seriously, if theism-conflict is happening, it's likely to keep happening. Not 100%, but for sure more than half a chance that this is going to keep happening in some way. You know much better than I the position of apostates in your culture, but even I know that it's not a strong position for compromise.

The shovel thing... I understand the attraction, but please don't do that. All religion aside, murder is not good.

My wife is only vaguely theist, her version of "god" or "jesus" is "the connection between all people." We get along fine.

My ex-fiance viewed herself as rebelling against her religion. Her version of rebellion was cutting her hair, piercing her ears, and wearing pants, while simultaneously living in fear of the Rapture. No exaggeration. We were not compatible, and no matter how much it hurt when she finally gave up on converting this heathen, it's best that we never married. She made the right decision by leaving me.

If this recent behavior by your guy is consistent with himself, then *according to my limited experience* either of you would be making the right decision by breaking it off. If it's not consistent, and he's just caught up in a temporary wave of pro-Turkish nationalist Islamism, than maybe there's a chance after he calms down. I recommend you use your best, cautious and self-interested, judgement.

I wish all the best for you, of course.
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05-08-2016, 06:36 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
(05-08-2016 04:40 PM)izel Wrote:  
(05-08-2016 04:10 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  What do you think will make you happier, staying with him and continue supressing your thoughts and biting your tongue regarding religion OR finding a like minded person where you don’t have to?

I guess the third option is de-converting him but somehow I don’t think that will end well.
Do not do the shovel thing!

You just made shovel sound a lot more easier Laugh out load. I don't even know what would make me happier anymore. I just wish he wasn't that naive. He's pretty though, and only time he's Muslim is going to mosque 2 times a year during eid prayer, and fasting during the month of Ramadan. That though, is more of a tradition for us now days then a religion. Other than that, he is clueless in Islam and Quran Facepalm

And he has the male chauvinist baggage to prove it. You know how to best deal with the situation, but what if he gets more religious? You will be toast. In my honest opinion, the religious divide is going to be there for you to deal with. If you break it off, I sincerely hope that the shovel isn't used on you. That atheist/slacker Muslim dialog has to happen before you go much further in your relationship, if you know what's good for you, young lady. Wink
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05-08-2016, 08:55 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
(05-08-2016 04:40 PM)izel Wrote:  He’s pretty though...

'Nuff said.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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05-08-2016, 09:32 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
(05-08-2016 03:14 PM)izel Wrote:  This post is mainly for those of you who are in relationship with believers. I need your advice, but most importantly, I need to know how the hell you make it work. I just don't think I can do this anymore, the amount of stupidity that comes from my boyfriends mouth it just baffles my mind. He was watching some stupid documentary, a propaganda crap that makes Islam look good, we started arguing about the gender equality in Islam. Mind you, he doesn't know I'm atheist, for that reason I have to be very careful what I say to him. He is very secular and doesn't know shit about religion, but he thinks he has everything figured out, which is probably even more annoying. He comes up with argument something in lines of "the word men and women are both mentioned 23 times in the Quran, which shows both genders are equal in the eyes of Allah"

Of courseeeeee, Allah also claims that men are superior to women, men have more authority then women, men are twice as trustworthy as women, not to mention women are buried deeper in Islam then men, due to in Allah's eyes women sin more then men and the list goes on and on.

My blood was boiling, I don't know how I controlled my self. We've been together for almost 4 years, and I have never been so close to throwing his shit out the window. Lucky for him, I had to leave for work, other wise, I would have hit him in the head with a shovel.

Why are you still together? Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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05-08-2016, 09:47 PM
RE: Being in relationship with theist
Usually I'm pretty tolerant, once in a while though, I snap Laugh out load. It amazes me the theories he believes. ISIS are Israeli and American agents, out to make muslims look bad. There was a facebook photo of a dead ISIS fighter few months back, someone terribly photoshopped a cross necklace on him, he goes see, I told you, they're mosad and cia agents. And these are not one bit over exaggerated Sad. Things like these makes me question rather I wanna be in this relationship or not. But then, what a hell else am I going to get? most are retarded around here, might as well stick with the pretty one Laugh out load

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