Best ever put-downs
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18-06-2013, 06:23 PM
Best ever put-downs
Sometimes some hits another person with a put-down so witty they should be knighted on the spot. Here is a thread for us to appreciate those put-downs, and hopefully bring joy to all who read them.

I have two to share.

The first is Ferdinand's infamous 'noose' comment from my sig which A2 had the misfortune to be on the wrong end of, here's the full version;

Ferdinand Wrote:Ato told me on xbox that he dislikes me because I'm strange and if we ever met he would probably hate me because I ramble a lot and I apparently sound nasally.

my life right now




Atothetheist Wrote:You do sound nasally. I don't dislike you. I just think that from the banter we exchange, we might not be the best of friends. Your unique, not strange. You ramble a lot, but it's not rambling that makes it annoying, but the things you rambled about that kinda grossed me out.

I like you Ferdy, Don't kill yourself over something a pipsqueak like me said.

Ferdinand Wrote:
(08-10-2012 03:59 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Your unique, not strange.

*You're

(08-10-2012 03:59 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  You ramble a lot, but it's not rambling that makes it annoying, but the things you rambled about that kinda grossed me out.

> reasons why I am mistaken for online and should be a boy irl. Big Grin

(08-10-2012 03:59 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I like you Ferdy, Don't kill yourself over something a pipsqueak like me said.

I wasn't going to kill myself. That noose was for you.



The second was one said by my friend at school which I will never forget. The ticket inspector at the train station had taken our football, refuse to give it back to us, then sent it miles away to a lost property office which woulda charged more than the cost of the ball to return it. My friend was pretty pissed off so he wrote "I'm a cunt" on a piece of paper to go and stick on the door of the guy's office. On his way to the guy's office door, carrying the paper with the message on, he walked past his sister and her friend, sparking this exchange;

His sister's friend Wrote:<reads the message on the paper>

What you gonna do with that, stick it on your back?

My friend Wrote:No, I'm gonna write 'wide-load' on it and stick it on your ass.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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18-06-2013, 07:34 PM (This post was last modified: 18-06-2013 07:54 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Best ever put-downs
This isn't exactly a "put-down', but it's a real life story ...
I have this hilarious cute cousin. She is about 17-18. She can make me laugh so hard I cry. She comes up with the funniest stuff .. we are good friends. We were at a big formal family shin-dig, and one of my uncles was pretty drunk. (Some are very conservative Catholics). It was outdoors, and the tables were all formally set on the back lawn. Like 50 people. My uncles were talking politics, and one said they wished Ted Kennedy was still around. The drunk uncle, said REALLY REALLY LOUD, (in front of all my conservative prissy aunts, my granny, and all the kids), "Ted Kennedy up my butt". There was this shocked, hushed, alarmed, silence. Then my sweet little funny cousin sings out for all to hear, "Why Uncle T ...., no *wonder* you look so uncomfortable". The whole place cracked up. No one has ever thought so fast, or had a better put down, that I ever heard. Tongue

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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