Best friend help
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25-02-2016, 06:04 PM
Best friend help
(WARNING: Don't read if you don't want drama)

Hello, I am coming for advice. My best friend and I have been off and on for a while now and I just "broke up" with her. I really needed to because it was toxic (She'd always replace me and it just hurt me more a d more) I need some advice to get over it. I have other friends, and I've been spending more time with them but it still hurts. Any advice on how to deal with it?
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25-02-2016, 08:00 PM
RE: Best friend help
I'm sorry things didn't work out with your friend. I think it helps to keep yourself busy. And when you feel like calling or hanging out with this person again, it might be a good idea to remind yourself why you stopped being friends with them in the first place. Other than that, unfortunately, these types of things just take time.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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26-02-2016, 07:02 AM
RE: Best friend help
Any loss hurts even when you know intellectually that it is probably for the best. You said in another thread that you are a young teen which only makes this harder since you don't have a lot of experience with it. You should consider what it is that you like about this friend and look for that in other people; there will be many.

As hard as it is to lose a friend, life is far too short to waste it dealing with people who are toxic for you. People often grow apart and it isn't necessarily anybody's fault but it can be better in the long run for both to go their separate ways.

Time doesn't always heal all wounds, but it does numb the pain and allow them to transform into learning experiences if you let it.

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26-02-2016, 05:55 PM
RE: Best friend help
(25-02-2016 06:04 PM)Kd_wants_to_battle Wrote:  (WARNING: Don't read if you don't want drama)

Hello, I am coming for advice. My best friend and I have been off and on for a while now and I just "broke up" with her. I really needed to because it was toxic (She'd always replace me and it just hurt me more a d more) I need some advice to get over it. I have other friends, and I've been spending more time with them but it still hurts. Any advice on how to deal with it?

I can relate to this right now. I think I'm about to lose a friend I'm very fond of. I can't get a hang of him on the phone for a month, his Facebook profile is just gone and he removed me as a contact on Skype. Although he has a legendary status of not answering phones or on Facebook, this is still irregular since he just got discharged from the millitary, and I would think he'd love to meet me after 2 years of service. I don't know what changed, did I say something at some point? Did he ever consider me a proper friend? The answer is that you can't know. I can't know if he suddenly picks up the phone and says he wants to hang out for sure. But if not, there's nothing else I can do but hang out with my other friends and tie closer knots with them, and just suck up the fact that I've lost a friend; something I have done before.

As for you, I reccomend that you don't "give up" on your best friend, or former best friend. If you do get to hang out with her again, tell her of the problems you've had with her, and how you can possibly fix it. It is the only way to be sure that your friendship can continue or not. Friends, romantic partners, or even family members; they all come and go, and losing a friend like this will probably happen again at some point. Just try to enjoy the time you have with them at the moment and make the best of it. Good Luck.

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26-02-2016, 08:13 PM
RE: Best friend help
(25-02-2016 06:04 PM)Kd_wants_to_battle Wrote:  (WARNING: Don't read if you don't want drama)

Hello, I am coming for advice. My best friend and I have been off and on for a while now and I just "broke up" with her. I really needed to because it was toxic (She'd always replace me and it just hurt me more a d more) I need some advice to get over it. I have other friends, and I've been spending more time with them but it still hurts. Any advice on how to deal with it?

You are going through a loss and like any loss you are grieving just like a death, it's a little death but we all go through it. Letting a toxic friend go is the only way they can learn. You may never see them again but hopefully they will treat their other friends better in the future.

The best advice I can give is whenever you feel like talking to them, write it down, even if it's something small like "Hey, I found a song you'd like." Eventually you will stop, it's the communication you will miss the most and sharing your thoughts and feelings but if you can share them without having to actually see them or talk to them it will still feel like a release. If you ever see them again you can break out your notebook and they will probably think it's nice you wrote them so many notes/letters but if not at least you got it out of your system. I honestly hope you feel better soon. Smile
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28-02-2016, 10:13 AM
RE: Best friend help
(26-02-2016 08:13 PM)SitaSky Wrote:  
(25-02-2016 06:04 PM)Kd_wants_to_battle Wrote:  (WARNING: Don't read if you don't want drama)

Hello, I am coming for advice. My best friend and I have been off and on for a while now and I just "broke up" with her. I really needed to because it was toxic (She'd always replace me and it just hurt me more a d more) I need some advice to get over it. I have other friends, and I've been spending more time with them but it still hurts. Any advice on how to deal with it?

You are going through a loss and like any loss you are grieving just like a death, it's a little death but we all go through it. Letting a toxic friend go is the only way they can learn. You may never see them again but hopefully they will treat their other friends better in the future.

The best advice I can give is whenever you feel like talking to them, write it down, even if it's something small like "Hey, I found a song you'd like." Eventually you will stop, it's the communication you will miss the most and sharing your thoughts and feelings but if you can share them without having to actually see them or talk to them it will still feel like a release. If you ever see them again you can break out your notebook and they will probably think it's nice you wrote them so many notes/letters but if not at least you got it out of your system. I honestly hope you feel better soon. Smile

Thank You! I'll try it. Thank you everybody for the help
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28-02-2016, 10:17 AM
RE: Best friend help
Hug

At least here we can offer an 'electronic' shoulder to help and support. Smile

While just words on a screen, I am hoping they do some good.

Hug
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