Bible
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
02-09-2014, 04:09 AM
Bible
A Bible has shown up at my house. I don't know where it came from and neither does anyone else. It was sitting right out in the open on top of a stack of books. Upon examination I find that it's a Jehovah Witness Bible. The only explanation I can come up with that fits all the data is that some Jehovah Witnesses broke into my house, left the Bible and departed.Laugh out load

Sapere aude
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-09-2014, 04:17 AM
RE: Bible
(02-09-2014 04:09 AM)f stop Wrote:  A Bible has shown up at my house. I don't know where it came from and neither does anyone else. It was sitting right out in the open on top of a stack of books. Upon examination I find that it's a Jehovah Witness Bible. The only explanation I can come up with that fits all the data is that some Jehovah Witnesses broke into my house, left the Bible and departed.Laugh out load

Or...

It's a sign... from gawd!

Or...

You left the door unlocked, they came calling, realised the house was left unguarded, decided to lock the door (leaving through the cat-flap) and the bible is the calling card.

Or...

Gasp

They are still in the house!

Get out!

Get out NOW!

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 13 users Like DLJ's post
02-09-2014, 04:40 AM
RE: Bible
(02-09-2014 04:09 AM)f stop Wrote:  A Bible has shown up at my house. I don't know where it came from and neither does anyone else. It was sitting right out in the open on top of a stack of books. Upon examination I find that it's a Jehovah Witness Bible. The only explanation I can come up with that fits all the data is that some Jehovah Witnesses broke into my house, left the Bible and departed.Laugh out load

Well, how nice of them to donate some wrapping paper/kindling.

[Image: E3WvRwZ.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like EvolutionKills's post
02-09-2014, 05:29 AM
RE: Bible
Free cat litter...


"Name me a moral statement made or moral action performed that could not have been made or done, by a non-believer..." - Christopher Hitchens



My youtube musings: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfFoxbz...UVi1pf4B5g
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like CiderThinker's post
02-09-2014, 06:25 AM
RE: Bible
(02-09-2014 04:40 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(02-09-2014 04:09 AM)f stop Wrote:  A Bible has shown up at my house. I don't know where it came from and neither does anyone else. It was sitting right out in the open on top of a stack of books. Upon examination I find that it's a Jehovah Witness Bible. The only explanation I can come up with that fits all the data is that some Jehovah Witnesses broke into my house, left the Bible and departed.Laugh out load

Well, how nice of them to donate some wrapping paper/kindling.
Not kindling. I don't believe in book burning.

Sapere aude
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-09-2014, 08:41 AM
RE: Bible
(02-09-2014 04:40 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Well, how nice of them to donate some wrapping paper/kindling.

That would be some interesting wrapping paper. I'd be sure to only include the most grizzly stories if I tried that.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like RobbyPants's post
02-09-2014, 10:44 AM
RE: Bible
(02-09-2014 08:41 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(02-09-2014 04:40 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Well, how nice of them to donate some wrapping paper/kindling.

That would be some interesting wrapping paper. I'd be sure to only include the most grizzly stories if I tried that.

"Oh look, Betty, it's bible verse wrapping paper! How wonderful-.... Wait... What does that say? Gasp "

Laugh out load

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Smercury44's post
02-09-2014, 11:15 AM
RE: Bible
Compare it with a standard copy, and see how edited/altered their version is.

[img]

via GIPHY

[/img]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-09-2014, 02:47 PM
RE: Bible
(02-09-2014 11:15 AM)Sam Wrote:  Compare it with a standard copy, and see how edited/altered their version is.

Gotta save it for 10 years or so for the real fun to be seen.

[Image: dog-shaking.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-09-2014, 10:00 PM
RE: Bible
(02-09-2014 06:25 AM)f stop Wrote:  
(02-09-2014 04:40 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Well, how nice of them to donate some wrapping paper/kindling.
Not kindling. I don't believe in book burning.

I've never understood this, personally. I'm a bibliophile, myself, but even I say "books are sacred" in a tongue-in-cheek manner. They're books. Some contain vital information, some contain jokes, some contain simple entertainment, some contain instructions on how to hate gays and non-believers (a perfectly valid and moral reason to burn the lot of them, I think), some give a bunch of bullshit lessons on how to keep your chakras in line.

In the end, though, they're just books. Part of our history, part of our legacy, part of our free exchange of ideas, part of who and what we are, have been and will be…but books none the less. My copy of "The God Delusion" is what ultimately woke me up from my faithful sleep with a start, but if I find myself in a mid-Winter apocalypse and there's no wood, I'm burning that shit.




Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Misanthropik's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: