Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
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02-04-2017, 01:45 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(02-04-2017 01:41 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(02-04-2017 01:38 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  My opinion is that lifestyle is rarely the cause of morbid obesity. Lifestyle can exacerbate the condition but morbid obesity is always a symptom of an underlying medical issue and not a lifestyle choice.

Medical or mental issue, I would say.

They aren't always seen as the same thing.

They should be though. Medical covers mental.

#sigh
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02-04-2017, 01:46 PM (This post was last modified: 02-04-2017 02:07 PM by Anjele.)
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(02-04-2017 01:04 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(02-04-2017 01:01 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  As for a medical condition: I still am well within my right to view obsesity as unhealthy, regardless if it is chosen or not. ... Any criticisms of that?

Is that your medical opinion?
Overweight and healthy: the concept of metabolically healthy obesity
Can You Be Fit and Fat?

I dated a guy for a while when I was in the military. He was ex-Airborne thanks to a bum knee from a bad landing. He was a beefy guy. The Army was on him constantly about his BMI and trying to make him lose weight or they were going to medically discharge him.

I can assure you that there wasn't any excess fat on the guy.

He beat the BMI testing finally and continued his career. They didn't take into account his build...they were more concerned about height/weight and not about his actual physical health and fitness. There is no one size fits all when it comes to health.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
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02-04-2017, 01:52 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(02-04-2017 01:35 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  The biggest factor by far in how many calories you burn is determined by your basal metabolic rate. You can manipulate your BMR through exercise, nutrition, and pharmacologically but the easiest is through nutrition. All calories are not created equal, phytonutrients in certain food stuffs can manipulate and modulate the metabolic and hormonal pathways, some foods require more energy to metabolize than others, etc.

I agree. It's also what you eat which is where portion control comes in. You can still eat anything you want and lose weight. You just can not eat as much of certain kinds of foods that changes your metabolic rate. So eat what you want... just watch what and how much you eat. Don't expect to eat a slice of cheesecake and lose weight. But you can eat a couple of bites and it will not hurt you.

I get to decide what my life looks like, not the other way around.
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02-04-2017, 01:58 PM (This post was last modified: 02-04-2017 02:05 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(02-04-2017 01:46 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(02-04-2017 01:04 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Is that your medical opinion?
Overweight and healthy: the concept of metabolically healthy obesity
Can You Be Fit and Fat?

I dated a guy for a while when I was in the military. He was ex-Airborne thanks to a bum knee from a bad landing. He was a beefy guy. The Army was on him constantly about his BMI and trying to make him lost weight or they were going to medically discharge him.

I can assure you that there wasn't any excess fat on the guy.

He beat the BMI testing finally and continued his career. They didn't take into account his build...they were more concerned about height/weight and not about his actual physical health and fitness. There is no one size fits all when it comes to health.

The advice I'm seeing more is that waist size is more important than weight or BMI. They say <35" for women and 40" for men but that must be tied to height somehow. Also we know that different types of fat behave differently. Brown fat when signaled burns more than 300x the energy of any other tissue, subcutaneous fat seems fairly inert, pear-shaped fat-bottoms don't have the same risks as pot-bellied apple shapes 'cause it's visceral fat in and around the organs which poses the real danger.

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02-04-2017, 02:03 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(02-04-2017 01:52 PM)RearViewMirror Wrote:  Don't expect to eat a slice of cheesecake and lose weight. But you can eat a couple of bites and it will not hurt you.

Just gotta get a little creative. Smile

[Image: cheesecake_zps33usc8jc.png]

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02-04-2017, 04:12 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
I happen to think that most morbidly obese people don't love themselves, and thus that is a big part of why they are addicted to food. Usually, for many people who have more than 100 lbs to lose, they have had difficult and dysfunctional childhoods, often times abusive ones, and food serves as their main source for comfort. So, I don't think it's a matter of accepting one's size, but rather coming to terms with what has caused the food addiction, because then and only then, will the person be able to stick with a better diet and exercise program. Addictions aren't healthy, and I'd try to help the person as best as I can, to get the help they need. If I were to pretend like it's okay as to not hurt their feelings, in essence, I'd become an enabler. I see this as no different than helping a heroin or meth addict to get sober...doing nothing, and watching someone hurt themselves, is borderline enabling them to keep the addiction going.

Be true to yourself. Heart
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02-04-2017, 09:10 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
i dont want to come across as offensive but the issue i take with obesity is the greed behind it. these people are eating way more than what they need to survive while other people starve. now, i understand there are reasons for this and its more than someone saying "i think im gonna take a resource for granted" and that my extreme of pushing myself to live on a few hundred calories is no healthier. its something im working on
the issue with telling someone their behavior isnt healthy is that if they get this unhealthy to begin with, they are beyond the "oh this is bad for me i should stop" point
there are issues that lead to people acting unhealthy and the fact that their coping mechanism is harmful doesnt detract from the fact that its a coping mechanism.
i think we need to realize that psychological trauma can have the effect of making someone turn to food or it can make them turn away from it. we need to be careful how we tell people they look. when i was in middle school i was over 180 pounds and people told me i was fat constantly. then in high school i began purging and starving and last year i was barely over 110 pounds at 5'7". im about 120 now and still feeling fat and my diet is mostly caffiene, legumes, and sugar.
so in short, i think we need to stop viewing weight as just about eating and make sure we teach people how to love their bodies and prevent trauma and such that leads to EDs
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03-04-2017, 12:43 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(02-04-2017 05:24 AM)Gwaithmir Wrote:  
(02-04-2017 12:21 AM)JesseB Wrote:  So like.... I really want to have a child, are you suggesting I can't unless I take testosterone? I mean I hate the stuff, it made me want to murder everyone in sight, but if that's the price I have to pay to have a kid.....

I mean my sex drive is ok, I jerk off like 2-8 times a day and have since I was 16 lol So I didn't think I needed additional testosterone.

> Nevertheless, be sure to have your prostate gland examined on a regular basis. My doctor didn't insist on it until I was 60. My first PSA test revealed that I had advanced prostate cancer. Sad

My first one was when I tried to join the military, they didn't take me cause "childhood asthma" which was weird cause sure I took the meds as a kid (I listed them on medications I've had in my life), but like I've never taken meds for it as an adult and been just fine.

It's prolly better they didn't take me though, so. I would have joined the Marines just like dear old dad, and he still would have hated my guts. So what's the point? I don't like violence, It was better to just abandon what I don't like instead of embracing it to make that miserable fuck of a father happy (especially since the effort would be wasted, he'd still be a miserable fuck).

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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03-04-2017, 02:22 AM (This post was last modified: 03-04-2017 11:11 AM by JesseB.)
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(02-04-2017 04:12 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  I happen to think that most morbidly obese people don't love themselves, and thus that is a big part of why they are addicted to food. Usually, for many people who have more than 100 lbs to lose, they have had difficult and dysfunctional childhoods, often times abusive ones, and food serves as their main source for comfort. So, I don't think it's a matter of accepting one's size, but rather coming to terms with what has caused the food addiction, because then and only then, will the person be able to stick with a better diet and exercise program. Addictions aren't healthy, and I'd try to help the person as best as I can, to get the help they need. If I were to pretend like it's okay as to not hurt their feelings, in essence, I'd become an enabler. I see this as no different than helping a heroin or meth addict to get sober...doing nothing, and watching someone hurt themselves, is borderline enabling them to keep the addiction going.

DISCLAIMER: The comments below are a mish mash of very emotional things, I don't claim these are the positions I hold, mostly they are half truths I struggle with every day, None of it is intended as an attack on anyone, if I'm coming across as mean I don't really intend to. Talk to me any other day on any other topic, or even this topic and you'll prolly hear a much more tempered and kind response. I fully acknowledge I'm a fucked up monster that prolly should have been put down the day I was born. So try not to let any of my words hurt you, try not to internalize them or think they are specific to you please, after all I don't even know you. Perhaps this can give you a bit of insight, maybe it can even be useful to you. Who knows.


-------------------------------------------------------

Knowing what is causing my emotional and psychological pain isn't going to help me loose weight. Nor will it help me fix the source of my emotional pain. Telling me not to eat won't help my weight or fix any of my underlying medical, or emotional problems. And despite all of that, I don't really like how my body looks. But I do in fact love myself, like myself, and think I have something of value to offer the world. The real issue isn't that, its that no one else agree's lol.

Also you telling me I'm a worthless fucking fat fuck mc burger ass isn't going to hurt my fucking feelings. I'm not a child. Also I'm quite well aware its true, I can't have hurt feelings about things that are pretty objectively true (I say this, and yet it's a lie, I do get hurt feelings over one thing that seems to be objectively true, its just not my weight).

Sure, I had hard times in my life. So what. That's really not a big deal, its in the past. I've dealt with bullying, child abuse, rape, and more. However, I'm fare more concerned (obsessed even) with both the present and the future. And on these 2 subjects I have very confused mixed feelings/thoughts and occasional severe bitterness lying underneath. I'm not the kind of person to hold grudges or hang onto things, so if the problems in my life were to become fixed I would instantly "let it go" and move on, its just my nature. The fact I get bitter simply means I'm still currently dealing with the shitty things I don't know how to fix.


I have so much confusion on what the right thing is to do. I mean It's very difficult to remain motivated to cause myself extreme levels of pain 24/7 just so I can be an "acceptable" weight (thanks to medical issues this is exactly what's required). I don't particularly care about living to 100 or even 36. I have one goal, the one thing I've never really had. A family. I've mentioned how hard it is to date as a fat man, its just as hard as a skinny man (I've been and done both), I wasn't fat when I got married. 6 years later she leaves a letter on the bed saying "I never loved you." My chance was gone. My experiences after were mostly so much worse I don't want to talk about them, and anyone who reads all the shit I say should take pause at hearing there's things even I don't want to open up about.

I have so many questions, why should I loose weight to be attractive to someone who could, and would never love me. If they were capable of loving me should it matter if I'm skinny or fat? Why should I suffer so skinny people who don't have pain can feel more comfortable around me. Or so I can date them and still be abused by them? How could someone that can only love me if I'm skinny really love who I am? Like how is that real? I've dated girls with all kinds of bodytypes, I don't look at someone and say Ewww. If anything I find it far more difficult to trust or feel safe around women people think are highly attractive anymore. I see the contempt they have in their faces when they see me, I'm much happier that they are open about it now that I'm fat rather than hide it like they did when I was skinny. I suppose its not an uncommon thing for an abuse victim to make themselves as disgusting as possible. I kinda know why this is done.

It's so fucking crazy and I have no answers. I mean I know guys that never have sex, or opportunities for such and they whine and complain. And that's not what I'm complaining about, in the last year I've had 4 sexual partners (skinny or fat I've never had a problem getting laid if I really wanted to, that's my point here)? I feel like I might be forgetting one or two... The last one however like... we were fooling around and I kinda just gave up and broke up with her on the spot. Like.... I'm not looking to hook up or have sex.... I can get that on my own without another person. She was always so..... distant.... Like I just didn't care anymore, I told her straight up if she's not really into it, if she doesn't really want a relationship (she claimed she did, but didn't show it at all) then I simply wasn't interested. I think I told her "I'm looking for a girlfriend more clingy than a tick." lol She thought that meant I was going to chase after her, but I'm looking for someone who wants to be with me, it's the only way I could even begin to trust them. They have to make the effort, I used to make the effort and all I was ever doing was spinning my wheels. Again I'm just lost, spinning my wheels still.

I dream every night about raising a baby, a child, sitting with a pregnant woman, clearly I think a lot about this. Granted some of it's selfish, having a family and a child of my very own with my genetic legacy, my genetic destiny is a great big fuck you to the world that told me I was worthless. My greatest fear is failure to achieve this dream. And the prospects of succeeding are slim at best, actually impossible given all I've seen. I've made 80,000 a year before. I could do it again, I've been skinny, I could do it again. I know the sacrifice and suffering I would have to endure, I did it before for a woman I loved. I came home with flowers not because I did something wrong, not because it was a special day, I mean every day with her was a special day, and that's just one example of the random things I did for her all the time. When she started fucking other guys, coming home drunk and telling me about it, when she didn't have enough of them so she forced me to have sex with her while she was drunk, I didn't get angry with her, I didn't yell, or storm, or bully, or assault her. I would openly state to anyone "I'd rather someone be open and break up with me than lie and cheat on me." I threw around 1,000 lb pipes all fucking day long, I wasn't some pussy who couldn't handle myself, but I'm not some scumbag who would harm the woman I loved intentionally, even if she's actively and intentionally harming me. When she left the letter on the bed, I left a note at her work saying I'd be gone for a week so she could get her things, whatever she didn't' get would get donated to good will. And then I packed my bags and I drove far away. I never went back I've been on the road ever since. Year here two years there ect. I never found my answers in all my travels. I only found more reasons why life isn't worth the effort. Why no human is deserving of my affections, why things like loyalty, love, commitment are lies, myths.

I came to a point of realizing that life isn't worth living. Yet I don't really want to kill myself. I don't hate myself, and maybe some small part of me hopes I'm wrong. But I also don't want to kill myself to make others happy (subjecting myself to pain just so people who don't give a fuck about me can be comfortable or happy with my existence, fuck you, anyone who thinks otherwise. You don't get that from me unless you're willing to fucking earn it from me). I especially don't want to kill myself to make people who hate me happy, or people who are indifferent happy. I don't really give a fuck about money, I'll be honest. Money is nothing more than a tool and the things that can buy me comfort or happiness are pretty cheap over all. Worst case I could live without them. If the only thing that matters is the one thing I can't have then fuck it, at least I can live reasonably comfortable and not harm myself so much. Deep down, I don't really give a fuck about what you or anyone else thinks about my weight. Not because I'm happy with my weight, not because I don't care. But because I don't think the opinions of shallow people incapable of loving me are worth giving a fuck about.

People are scary and confuse the fuck out of me. I don't need people telling me I need to show more confidence, cause they are fucking idiots if they think that. I show no more or less confidence about any statement I make than I should (or at least I strive to be this way). Anyone who thinks confidence is a metric worth considering isn't worth my time or respect. That's how we ended up with a Tangerine for a president after all. People who say smart is sexy make me laugh, I know many smart people, I know almost no one who thinks they are sexy. Hell people like that struggle to find "normal" people even willing to put up with being in the same room with them fore more than 2 minutes. I know if I started talking about data encapsulation the eye's of every "normal" person in the room would glaze over. It's why I resist the urge to cover those topics except when I'm working (its a good cover, I start explaining shit they'll never understand and then I don't have to listen to their stupid shit while I'm trying to work, they find a way to end the conversation then leave me alone so I can get my shit done).

Admittedly I have almost no friends, the few friends I have I could prolly count on one hand and have some fingers left over. But those few friends are more precious than diamonds to me. To me they are fucking hero's, the rarest of all people on earth. And I tell them so to their faces, I'll tell anyone who I think is a fucking hero. They earned my respect, my loyalty. They also could tell me I'm a fat fuck and I need to loose weight, frankly if they did I would value their thoughts more, but I've talked to them about these fucked up thoughts in my head. They don't have the answers either, and they aren't stupid enough to tell me to loose weight so I can attract some shallow mate that would never give a fuck about me, would just use my for my looks, or money, or as a way to pass the time till a newer toy came around.

Like if I'm alone my health doesn't matter. Maybe you disagree. I don't fucking care. Maybe you think I owe it to society not to spend their money on my health issues. If that's the case then society fucking owed it to me not to throw me the fuck away like human trash. If someone thinks that they can piss off, they made their bed now they get to fucking sleep in it.

For all my talk about how people should value love and care about each other, all I'm doing is screaming at the top of my lungs in the vast nothingness of deep space. The only evidence I've sever seen is that love and all good things like it, are a lie.

I wonder if there's any real help for a fucking monster like me eh? One things for sure, my weight and health are the least of my fucking problems.

Oh and for the record, I need to loose over 100lb thank you very much.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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