Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
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31-03-2017, 10:11 AM (This post was last modified: 31-03-2017 10:15 AM by jennybee.)
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 09:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 08:25 AM)jennybee Wrote:  There's chair yoga, which is actually recommended for people with limited ranges of motion. I have a client who falls into the morbidly obese category and she is able to do that. Granted, everyone's situation and physical capabilities are different.


That's different, she came to you for lessons.

I think that my friend would be insulted by your assumption that he doesn't know himself whether he needs to or can move.

Let him/her start the conversation if and when they feel they can trust you. All anyone ever does is nag at them and discount their own desire to do things. Yes, it's nagging to them, no matter how you dress it up.

It's patronizing, not helpful. What is helpful is just being a friend, actual acceptance.

I don't see how it's patronizing if the person is a friend? What I mean is my friends and I are always suggesting fun activities to do together--book clubs, going to see a play, shopping, trying some new restaurant, invites to family functions. I'm a yoga instructor, and have said to all of my friends on occasion (regardless of size): "Hey, I'm going to do some yoga, wanna do some together?" And that's all I say. Some say yes, some say no, same with any activity. To me patronizing would be, "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." And I would agree, that is not the right way to be with anyone, let alone a friend.
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31-03-2017, 10:15 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 08:25 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 08:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  You can't ask a 600 pound person to do yoga.

Try carrying 400 extra pounds while you do yoga.

People forget what an incredible athletic achievement it is to move hundreds of pounds. Try it sometime and you will see that you either cannot do it, or you will hurt yourself, or it will exhaust you in minutes.

There's chair yoga, which is actually recommended for people with limited ranges of motion. I have a client who falls into the morbidly obese category and she is able to do that. Granted, everyone's situation and physical capabilities are different.
Could you recommend some chair exercises or a good website? I think I'd struggle with normal yoga due to knee cartilage problems (even kneeling is painful).

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31-03-2017, 10:25 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:15 AM)ukatheist Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 08:25 AM)jennybee Wrote:  There's chair yoga, which is actually recommended for people with limited ranges of motion. I have a client who falls into the morbidly obese category and she is able to do that. Granted, everyone's situation and physical capabilities are different.
Could you recommend some chair exercises or a good website? I think I'd struggle with normal yoga due to knee cartilage problems (even kneeling is painful).

Not a beneficial insect on the brink of extinction, but first thing I thought was "Wonder what paraplegic do?"

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31-03-2017, 10:30 AM (This post was last modified: 31-03-2017 11:32 AM by jennybee.)
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:15 AM)ukatheist Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 08:25 AM)jennybee Wrote:  There's chair yoga, which is actually recommended for people with limited ranges of motion. I have a client who falls into the morbidly obese category and she is able to do that. Granted, everyone's situation and physical capabilities are different.
Could you recommend some chair exercises or a good website? I think I'd struggle with normal yoga due to knee cartilage problems (even kneeling is painful).

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Sure, gaia.com has a subscription in which you can access numerous therapeutic exercises via trained instructors for knee problems, etc. I believe it's $10 a month. Another idea would be to find a yoga instructor in your area who specializes in a therapeutic practice. A yin or restorative yoga class would also be good ones to look into. As for a dvd, Chair Yoga: Seated Exercises for Health and Wellbeing by Edeltraud Rohnfeld is a good one. If you feel any pain when doing any exercises, obviously a good idea to stop. And always check with your doctor to make sure any kind of exercise is appropriate for you.

EDIT: I just checked gaia--they only have one knee therapeutic video, but have several chair yoga ones.

*My wheelhouse is in vinyasa, not therapeutics, so I wouldn't feel comfortable recommending exercises for knee cartilage problems.
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31-03-2017, 10:41 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:11 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 09:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  That's different, she came to you for lessons.

I think that my friend would be insulted by your assumption that he doesn't know himself whether he needs to or can move.

Let him/her start the conversation if and when they feel they can trust you. All anyone ever does is nag at them and discount their own desire to do things. Yes, it's nagging to them, no matter how you dress it up.

It's patronizing, not helpful. What is helpful is just being a friend, actual acceptance.

I don't see how it's patronizing if the person is a friend? What I mean is my friends and I are always suggesting fun activities to do together--book clubs, going to see a play, shopping, trying some new restaurant, invites to family functions. I'm a yoga instructor, and have said to all of my friends on occasion (regardless of size): "Hey, I'm going to do some yoga, wanna do some together?" And that's all I say. Some say yes, some say no, same with any activity. To me patronizing would be, "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." And I would agree, that is not the right way to be with anyone, let alone a friend.

Agreed, if it's a close friend.

But - the fat person will add all that narrative without you saying another thing - "wanna do some yoga together" to a fat person automatically implies "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." Or even: "you are too fat and ugly. Don't be so lazy, get moving."

Why? Because it's the main thing anyone ever says to them. They have come to expect it. Took my guy a year and a half to open up about it, he was so glad that the conversation for once had nothing at all to do with his weight. When you have most people you meet say or think shit about your body, you read it into everything. And everything becomes about your body. You lose your personhood, you assume everyone sees you as a blob of fat.

Add in that no one can maintain 600 pounds without an enabler. This enabler may be dripping in sweetness, but they are in effect jailing the fat person, for whatever reason. At 600 pounds, you don't get out much if at all. You can pretty much count on it that a 600 pound person, someone bearing so much fat that they are practically immobilized, is being abused in one way or another.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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31-03-2017, 10:43 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
Hmm.....

My parents tell me I'm morbidly obease, they told me this when I was a kid and was 5'4" weighing 150lb, now I'm 5'4" weighing 260lb on average. my parents say my weight is "scary."

However I'm not particularly happy with this, I try to get up and move despite all the pain, when I have enough money I try to eat healthy (it's hard to eat healthy when you're poor). The most annoying thing is over the last few years I've regularly been forced to go days and weeks on end without food (first in college, and now cause I'm practically unemployed). Despite how little I eat I can't seem to drop below 250. I get out and work so hard I end up bedridden for days, even weeks after sometimes but I can't loose weight. People are impressed that a fat man like me can get out there and keep up with kids tossing around heavy logs ect (honestly it's easier than tossing around casing pipe in the oil fields). I can outrun most people, when I was a kid my dad would take me on 5 mile runs with a dead sprint the last quarter mile. Can't loose weight... It sucks

What's annoying is people telling me all my health problems are cause of my weight (little hint most of them started long before I gained weight, like the pain. and they are also the only reason I don't get out and be more active than I already am). OR when people act like I'm not trying to loose weight. Also people reminding me that no woman could ever love or accept me because I'm a fat man, as if I'm not already aware of how hard it is to try and date as a fat person (trying to motivate me to loose weight I guess).

The only time I was able to maintain 150lb as an adult (and that's not really skinny for me), was right before I was married. I would run 10-20 miles a day, lift weights 3 times a week or more, and spent pretty much every waking moment when I wasn't at work at the Taekwondo dojo. I was friends with the guy running the place so he let me spend as much time there as I wanted. Back then I would do things like the "cabbage soup" diet too (eating nothing but this stuff called cabbage soup for half the month). That's the level of extreme I have to go to if I want to maintain a "healthy" weight. I was really skinny as a kid, back when I played football in Jr high I was prolly only 120lb maybe less, but when I hit 16ish that all changed.

I say leave people the fuck alone, they might say they are happy with themselves (i often lie and say I'm happy with my body), but its their problem to worry about. If they aren't asking for help they prolly don't want it, especially not from someone who is likely totally unqualified to offer any help, or unwilling to offer any meaningful help (for instance if someone is poor like me offering to regularly keep them stocked with healthy foods would genuinely be helpful, not just for weight but also for the poverty problem too, but like who the hell would do something that makes sense and could actually help right?)

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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31-03-2017, 10:47 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:41 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 10:11 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I don't see how it's patronizing if the person is a friend? What I mean is my friends and I are always suggesting fun activities to do together--book clubs, going to see a play, shopping, trying some new restaurant, invites to family functions. I'm a yoga instructor, and have said to all of my friends on occasion (regardless of size): "Hey, I'm going to do some yoga, wanna do some together?" And that's all I say. Some say yes, some say no, same with any activity. To me patronizing would be, "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." And I would agree, that is not the right way to be with anyone, let alone a friend.

Agreed, if it's a close friend.

But - the fat person will add all that narrative without you saying another thing - "wanna do some yoga together" to a fat person automatically implies "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." Or even: "you are too fat and ugly. Don't be so lazy, get moving."

Why? Because it's the main thing anyone ever says to them. They have come to expect it. Took my guy a year and a half to open up about it, he was so glad that the conversation for once had nothing at all to do with his weight. When you have most people you meet say or think shit about your body, you read it into everything. And everything becomes about your body. You lose your personhood, you assume everyone sees you as a blob of fat.

Add in that no one can maintain 600 pounds without an enabler. This enabler may be dripping in sweetness, but they are in effect jailing the fat person, for whatever reason. At 600 pounds, you don't get out much if at all. You can pretty much count on it that a 600 pound person, someone bearing so much fat that they are practically immobilized, is being abused in one way or another.

I would think that it would have the opposite effect--if I asked only my thin friends to do yoga with me, wouldn't the larger sized person feel all the same things you described? Like why isn't she asking me too, is it because I'm xyz?
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31-03-2017, 10:47 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:41 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 10:11 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I don't see how it's patronizing if the person is a friend? What I mean is my friends and I are always suggesting fun activities to do together--book clubs, going to see a play, shopping, trying some new restaurant, invites to family functions. I'm a yoga instructor, and have said to all of my friends on occasion (regardless of size): "Hey, I'm going to do some yoga, wanna do some together?" And that's all I say. Some say yes, some say no, same with any activity. To me patronizing would be, "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." And I would agree, that is not the right way to be with anyone, let alone a friend.

Agreed, if it's a close friend.

But - the fat person will add all that narrative without you saying another thing - "wanna do some yoga together" to a fat person automatically implies "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." Or even: "you are too fat and ugly. Don't be so lazy, get moving."

Why? Because it's the main thing anyone ever says to them. They have come to expect it. Took my guy a year and a half to open up about it, he was so glad that the conversation for once had nothing at all to do with his weight. When you have most people you meet say or think shit about your body, you read it into everything. And everything becomes about your body. You lose your personhood, you assume everyone sees you as a blob of fat.

Add in that no one can maintain 600 pounds without an enabler. This enabler may be dripping in sweetness, but they are in effect jailing the fat person, for whatever reason. At 600 pounds, you don't get out much if at all. You can pretty much count on it that a 600 pound person, someone bearing so much fat that they are practically immobilized, is being abused in one way or another.

Actually I love when people offer to exercise with me, having someone there helps distract from the pain, and I spend most of my time alone. I really enjoy the company of other humans, at least on the rare occasions other humans can stomach being around me lol.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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31-03-2017, 10:49 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:41 AM)Dom Wrote:  Agreed, if it's a close friend.

I'd go so far as to pry into their medical history to ensure they've checked for all of the obvious medical reasons if it was a close friend. I'd also do that with a stranger (assuming no access to PII). But not an acquaintance or colleague. Is that just me?

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31-03-2017, 11:01 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:49 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 10:41 AM)Dom Wrote:  Agreed, if it's a close friend.

I'd go so far as to pry into their medical history to ensure they've checked for all of the obvious medical reasons if it was a close friend. I'd also do that with a stranger (assuming no access to PII). But not an acquaintance or colleague. Is that just me?

Yes, once trust is established it can be liberating for the fat person to be able to talk and think about it all without judgement. Especially talking about what they encounter in everyday life can also bear discussion - like there is nary a chair that will support a 600 pound person. They cost a LOT of money. (Cheaper to task a local furniture maker with designing one). Yet it is incredibly important for them to sit up - the first step to standing up.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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