Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
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31-03-2017, 11:04 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:47 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 10:41 AM)Dom Wrote:  Agreed, if it's a close friend.

But - the fat person will add all that narrative without you saying another thing - "wanna do some yoga together" to a fat person automatically implies "You should seriously consider doing something about your weight, it's unhealthy, and therefore, you should really consider doing yoga." Or even: "you are too fat and ugly. Don't be so lazy, get moving."

Why? Because it's the main thing anyone ever says to them. They have come to expect it. Took my guy a year and a half to open up about it, he was so glad that the conversation for once had nothing at all to do with his weight. When you have most people you meet say or think shit about your body, you read it into everything. And everything becomes about your body. You lose your personhood, you assume everyone sees you as a blob of fat.

Add in that no one can maintain 600 pounds without an enabler. This enabler may be dripping in sweetness, but they are in effect jailing the fat person, for whatever reason. At 600 pounds, you don't get out much if at all. You can pretty much count on it that a 600 pound person, someone bearing so much fat that they are practically immobilized, is being abused in one way or another.

I would think that it would have the opposite effect--if I asked only my thin friends to do yoga with me, wouldn't the larger sized person feel all the same things you described? Like why isn't she asking me too, is it because I'm xyz?

I think they would give you the benefit of the doubt. But yes, it's an elephant in the room and it's not going away for a long time - the time needed to establish trust that you are into their person, not their body.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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31-03-2017, 11:12 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:43 AM)JesseB Wrote:  Hmm.....

My parents tell me I'm morbidly obease, they told me this when I was a kid and was 5'4" weighing 150lb, now I'm 5'4" weighing 260lb on average. my parents say my weight is "scary."

However I'm not particularly happy with this, I try to get up and move despite all the pain, when I have enough money I try to eat healthy (it's hard to eat healthy when you're poor). The most annoying thing is over the last few years I've regularly been forced to go days and weeks on end without food (first in college, and now cause I'm practically unemployed). Despite how little I eat I can't seem to drop below 250. I get out and work so hard I end up bedridden for days, even weeks after sometimes but I can't loose weight. People are impressed that a fat man like me can get out there and keep up with kids tossing around heavy logs ect (honestly it's easier than tossing around casing pipe in the oil fields). I can outrun most people, when I was a kid my dad would take me on 5 mile runs with a dead sprint the last quarter mile. Can't loose weight... It sucks

What's annoying is people telling me all my health problems are cause of my weight (little hint most of them started long before I gained weight, like the pain. and they are also the only reason I don't get out and be more active than I already am). OR when people act like I'm not trying to loose weight. Also people reminding me that no woman could ever love or accept me because I'm a fat man, as if I'm not already aware of how hard it is to try and date as a fat person (trying to motivate me to loose weight I guess).

The only time I was able to maintain 150lb as an adult (and that's not really skinny for me), was right before I was married. I would run 10-20 miles a day, lift weights 3 times a week or more, and spent pretty much every waking moment when I wasn't at work at the Taekwondo dojo. I was friends with the guy running the place so he let me spend as much time there as I wanted. Back then I would do things like the "cabbage soup" diet too (eating nothing but this stuff called cabbage soup for half the month). That's the level of extreme I have to go to if I want to maintain a "healthy" weight. I was really skinny as a kid, back when I played football in Jr high I was prolly only 120lb maybe less, but when I hit 16ish that all changed.

I say leave people the fuck alone, they might say they are happy with themselves (i often lie and say I'm happy with my body), but its their problem to worry about. If they aren't asking for help they prolly don't want it, especially not from someone who is likely totally unqualified to offer any help, or unwilling to offer any meaningful help (for instance if someone is poor like me offering to regularly keep them stocked with healthy foods would genuinely be helpful, not just for weight but also for the poverty problem too, but like who the hell would do something that makes sense and could actually help right?)


People automatically assume fat people have health issues because they are fat. Well, it is equally possible that they are fat because they have health issues.

I donate all my extra produce (and I usually have much more than I could ever eat because I love growing additional new varieties) to a local food bank. Maybe check around?

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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31-03-2017, 11:21 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 11:12 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 10:43 AM)JesseB Wrote:  Hmm.....

My parents tell me I'm morbidly obease, they told me this when I was a kid and was 5'4" weighing 150lb, now I'm 5'4" weighing 260lb on average. my parents say my weight is "scary."

However I'm not particularly happy with this, I try to get up and move despite all the pain, when I have enough money I try to eat healthy (it's hard to eat healthy when you're poor). The most annoying thing is over the last few years I've regularly been forced to go days and weeks on end without food (first in college, and now cause I'm practically unemployed). Despite how little I eat I can't seem to drop below 250. I get out and work so hard I end up bedridden for days, even weeks after sometimes but I can't loose weight. People are impressed that a fat man like me can get out there and keep up with kids tossing around heavy logs ect (honestly it's easier than tossing around casing pipe in the oil fields). I can outrun most people, when I was a kid my dad would take me on 5 mile runs with a dead sprint the last quarter mile. Can't loose weight... It sucks

What's annoying is people telling me all my health problems are cause of my weight (little hint most of them started long before I gained weight, like the pain. and they are also the only reason I don't get out and be more active than I already am). OR when people act like I'm not trying to loose weight. Also people reminding me that no woman could ever love or accept me because I'm a fat man, as if I'm not already aware of how hard it is to try and date as a fat person (trying to motivate me to loose weight I guess).

The only time I was able to maintain 150lb as an adult (and that's not really skinny for me), was right before I was married. I would run 10-20 miles a day, lift weights 3 times a week or more, and spent pretty much every waking moment when I wasn't at work at the Taekwondo dojo. I was friends with the guy running the place so he let me spend as much time there as I wanted. Back then I would do things like the "cabbage soup" diet too (eating nothing but this stuff called cabbage soup for half the month). That's the level of extreme I have to go to if I want to maintain a "healthy" weight. I was really skinny as a kid, back when I played football in Jr high I was prolly only 120lb maybe less, but when I hit 16ish that all changed.

I say leave people the fuck alone, they might say they are happy with themselves (i often lie and say I'm happy with my body), but its their problem to worry about. If they aren't asking for help they prolly don't want it, especially not from someone who is likely totally unqualified to offer any help, or unwilling to offer any meaningful help (for instance if someone is poor like me offering to regularly keep them stocked with healthy foods would genuinely be helpful, not just for weight but also for the poverty problem too, but like who the hell would do something that makes sense and could actually help right?)


People automatically assume fat people have health issues because they are fat. Well, it is equally possible that they are fat because they have health issues.

I donate all my extra produce (and I usually have much more than I could ever eat because I love growing additional new varieties) to a local food bank. Maybe check around?

There is literally a mountain between me and the nearest food bank....
I'll have a lot fewer problems once I have a car, once I can get some additional certifications or education that will help a lot too (or even just a job I can do from home).

I'm about to hop on my bike and ride down the mountain to the post office, then I'm going to go to the resort and buy food at 3 times what it should cost at a normal store, then walk my fat ass bike and groceries back up the mountain.... It's not for exercise, if I wanted exercise I would start with a slightly less murderous hill to climb lol, its cause my food is running out and I have enough money to buy a little more and I'm not ready to go hungry again just yet. That said I've been very concerned with all my foot pain lately.... diabetes and foot pain never ends well.

But thanks for the thought.

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31-03-2017, 11:26 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 11:12 AM)Dom Wrote:  People automatically assume fat people have health issues because they are fat. Well, it is equally possible that they are fat because they have health issues.

I'd go so far as likely.

#sigh
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31-03-2017, 11:40 AM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 10:43 AM)JesseB Wrote:  Hmm.....

My parents tell me I'm morbidly obease, they told me this when I was a kid and was 5'4" weighing 150lb, now I'm 5'4" weighing 260lb on average. my parents say my weight is "scary."

However I'm not particularly happy with this, I try to get up and move despite all the pain, when I have enough money I try to eat healthy (it's hard to eat healthy when you're poor).

It is. Have you tried to grow some food of your own? It's how I learned to love vegetables and salads. I feel obligated to eat it when I grow it. Feels wrong to just leave it for the deer and slugs who can't appreciate it. I don't really feel like tilling and maintaining the ground or bending over to weed so I made like 6 3'x6' picnic table gardens with a whole bunch of containers made of whatever I could scrounge up (used latex paint cans are good, no LD50 for latex and deep enough to grow most everything except big root vegetables).

(31-03-2017 10:43 AM)JesseB Wrote:  The most annoying thing is over the last few years I've regularly been forced to go days and weeks on end without food (first in college, and now cause I'm practically unemployed). Despite how little I eat I can't seem to drop below 250.

Somewhat paradoxically, sometimes eating too little can be as bad as eating too much for losing weight. Metabolism shuts down in both cases, the former to prevent starvation and the latter to build up reserves because winter is coming.

(31-03-2017 10:43 AM)JesseB Wrote:  What's annoying is people telling me all my health problems are cause of my weight (little hint most of them started long before I gained weight, like the pain. and they are also the only reason I don't get out and be more active than I already am).

I think it is more likely that your weight is the symptom of a health problem, not the cause.

#sigh
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31-03-2017, 01:07 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
I think it's important to ensure we've got our data correct before we talk about "obese" or "morbidly" obese.

In recent years, the 200-year-old method of working out your BMI (alleged body mass index) has been debunked by clinicians worldwide. And yet your BMI is still used by many MDs to define your appropriateness of weight (or mass) in relation to your height, gender, and age.

See: Why BMI is Inaccurate and Misleading

I'm 178cm tall, and have a mass of 100kg—which, using the outdated calculation, puts me in the obese category with a BMI of 32, which is absurd. Based on the "healthy" BMI recommendation, my recommended weight is 58.6kg to 79.2kg.

If I were to shed 40kg, I'd look like one of the unfortunate malnourished sub-Saharan population.

BTW, we've been metric in Aus for over 40 years now—this thread has flattened the batteries on my calculator LOL.

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31-03-2017, 01:14 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 01:07 PM)SYZ Wrote:  I think it's important to ensure we've got our data correct before we talk about "obese" or "morbidly" obese.

In recent years, the 200-year-old method of working out your BMI (alleged body mass index) has been debunked by clinicians worldwide. And yet your BMI is still used by many MDs to define your appropriateness of weight (or mass) in relation to your height, gender, and age.

See: Why BMI is Inaccurate and Misleading

I'm 178cm tall, and have a mass of 100kg—which, using the outdated calculation, puts me in the obese category with a BMI of 32, which is absurd. Based on the "healthy" BMI recommendation, my recommended weight is 58.6kg to 79.2kg.

If I were to shed 40kg, I'd look like one of the unfortunate malnourished sub-Saharan population.

BTW, we've been metric in Aus for over 40 years now—this thread has flattened the batteries on my calculator LOL.

Most accurate way to assess lean mass is to get weighed underwater. A good rule of thumb is if you can fall asleep while floating in a pool. Yeah, I miss that.

#sigh
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31-03-2017, 02:01 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 11:26 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 11:12 AM)Dom Wrote:  People automatically assume fat people have health issues because they are fat. Well, it is equally possible that they are fat because they have health issues.

I'd go so far as likely.

I think the day is coming when they will be able to test for epigenetic factors, disposing people to the array of conditions associated with obesity. I personally think in the recent past of these people, there will be found those who were close to starvation, (from various causes), and they passed on their epigenetic information to eat whenever possible, simply in order to survive. It's not up to me to judge anyone. If someone were to ask for help, I would do what I could, otherwise it's none of my damn business.

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31-03-2017, 03:05 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
(31-03-2017 08:25 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(31-03-2017 08:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  You can't ask a 600 pound person to do yoga.

Try carrying 400 extra pounds while you do yoga.

People forget what an incredible athletic achievement it is to move hundreds of pounds. Try it sometime and you will see that you either cannot do it, or you will hurt yourself, or it will exhaust you in minutes.

There's chair yoga, which is actually recommended for people with limited ranges of motion. I have a client who falls into the morbidly obese category and she is able to do that. Granted, everyone's situation and physical capabilities are different.

I didn't know you are a yoga teacher. That's really cool. Smile
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31-03-2017, 05:43 PM
RE: Body Acceptance and the Morbidly Obese
This will contradict some of what has been said here but surgery has reduced my brother’s weight from 505 pounds to 220 in about two years. He simply cannot eat enough to put it back on with the reduced stomach size. Undecided

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