Brain farts
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28-05-2016, 07:43 PM
Brain farts
When you think about the amount of information that your brain processes in a day, month, year, or lifetime it's actually a wonder that your brain circuit pathways can get things right even "almost" all time.

But when they fail it can be hilarious, don't tell me you don't have a story like this from your own brain fart collection or someone else's. (Conversation edited for brevity)

On Saturdays I work in the service department of a car dealership, today this is the call that I got:

Caller: "Hello, my car just stalled at an intersection, I was able to restart my car, but now there is a picture of a submarine on my dashboard."

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am I don't think I understood what you just said, could you repeat that?"

Caller: " My car stalled and now I restarted it, but there is a picture on my dashboard that looks like a submarine."

Me: Okay....(5 second pause to think)... ma'am I think that it might be that your "check engine light is on."

[Image: g7ZNBQF.jpg]


Caller: " my what?"

Me: "Your check engine light, it means that your engine is not running properly, is it flashing?"

Caller: "No"

Me: "Then it should be safe to drive into the dealership and we can look at it for you"
___________________________________________________________________
It reminded me of a day (20 some years ago ) when I had my own big brain fart. I talked to a housekeeping supervisor that had just been hired at the hotel. I worked at the front desk:

Her (calling from housekeeping): (And what I honestly heard was) "how many rooms have chickens?"


Me: "I'm sorry...how many rooms have chickens?"

Her: (Again as I heard it) " Yes, chickens, how many chickens?"

Me: "Uhm..."

Her: Then she yelled "CHECKED-IN?"
[/b]

I forget my embarrassed response, something like "oohh...sorry we have checked-in about 10 rooms"

All I heard was the phone slammed down hard on the other end.

But she married me anyway!Big Grin

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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28-05-2016, 07:53 PM
RE: Brain farts
Haha omg I'm in love with this.

My brain gives out all the time. It's got a serious lag to it.
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28-05-2016, 07:56 PM
RE: Brain farts
Awesome story, that last one. HeartHeartHeart

As for brain fart, I have no problem owning my own. I have them regularly. Laugh out load

I have done the car light icon thing as well but I can't remember which light and what I thought t look like. I'd bet she was probably my age or so, when I saw the image I knew it was an engine but I still saw the "Yellow Submarine". Big Grin

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28-05-2016, 08:22 PM
RE: Brain farts
I've had so many brain farts that my head looks like the Martians' crania in the movie "Mars Attacks". I'll have to think of some stellar examples and post 'em up.
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28-05-2016, 08:36 PM
RE: Brain farts
Brain farts? Welcome to every moment of my everyday. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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28-05-2016, 09:46 PM
RE: Brain farts
My worst was calling a bloke Gary for a couple of years, until somebody told me his hame was actually Greg. He must've been too embarrassed to correct me? Hobo

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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28-05-2016, 10:02 PM
RE: Brain farts
(28-05-2016 09:46 PM)SYZ Wrote:  My worst was calling a bloke Gary for a couple of years, until somebody told me his hame was actually Greg. He must've been too embarrassed to correct me? Hobo

Puhlease.... I kept calling a woman at work by a childhood friend's name for nearly two years and I KNEW her name. But she so strongly resembled my friend the stupid kept falling out of my mouth. Facepalm

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28-05-2016, 10:16 PM (This post was last modified: 28-05-2016 10:24 PM by DLJ.)
RE: Brain farts
(28-05-2016 07:43 PM)unsapien Wrote:  ...
"how many rooms have chickens?"
...

Which reminds me of the classic "Tenjuberrymud"

You'll understand what it means at the end.

As the legend goes, the following is a telephone conversation between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia.
The call was recorded and later published in the Far East Economic Review.

Here goes ... read it aloud.

Room Service (RS): "Morny, Ruin Sorbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled Room Service."
RS: Rye...Ruinsorbees...morny! Djuwish to odor sunteen?
G: Un...Yes...I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow july den?
G: What?
RS: Ow july den?...pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ow july dee baychem...crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An san toes?
G: I don't think so.
RS: No? Judo one toes??
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means.
RS: Toes! Toes!...Why djuw don juan toes? Ow bow inglish moppig we bother?
G: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying "Toast!" Fine.
Yes an english muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
G: No...just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter...just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy...Tea...Mill?
G: Yes, coffee please and that's all.
RS: One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy inglish moppig we bother honey sign, and copy...rye??
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tenjuberrymud.
G: You're welcome.

Big Grin

And a personal one: Room Service in Malaysia asked me "What doneness?"

It took me a few moments to process that.

And they still under-cooked the steak.

Sad

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28-05-2016, 10:24 PM
RE: Brain farts
(28-05-2016 10:16 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(28-05-2016 07:43 PM)unsapien Wrote:  ...
"how many rooms have chickens?"
...

Which reminds me of the classic "Tenjuberrymud"

You'll understand what it means at the end.

As the legend goes, the following is a telephone conversation between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia.
The call was recorded and later published in the Far East Economic Review.

Here goes ... read it aloud.

Room Service (RS): "Morny, Ruin Sorbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled Room Service."
RS: Rye...Ruinsorbees...morny! Djuwish to odor sunteen?
G: Un...Yes...I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow july den?
G: What?
RS: Ow july den?...pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ow july dee baychem...crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An san toes?
G: I don't think so.
RS: No? Judo one toes??
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means.
RS: Toes! Toes!...Why djuw don juan toes? Ow bow inglish moppig we bother?
G: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying "Toast!" Fine.
Yes an english muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
G: No...just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter...just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy...Tea...Mill?
G: Yes, coffee please and that's all.
RS: One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy inglish moppig we bother honey sign, and copy...rye??
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tenjuberrymud.
G: You're welcome.

Laugh out loadLaugh out loadLaugh out load

That was my day every day at the last place I worked. Only in 5 different languages. And because I was patient enough to try and get though it all, I became the house interpreter. Facepalm

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28-05-2016, 10:54 PM
RE: Brain farts
(28-05-2016 07:43 PM)unsapien Wrote:  When you think about the amount of information that your brain processes in a day, month, year, or lifetime it's actually a wonder that your brain circuit pathways can get things right even "almost" all time.

But when they fail it can be hilarious, don't tell me you don't have a story like this from your own brain fart collection or someone else's. (Conversation edited for brevity)

On Saturdays I work in the service department of a car dealership, today this is the call that I got:

Caller: "Hello, my car just stalled at an intersection, I was able to restart my car, but now there is a picture of a submarine on my dashboard."

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am I don't think I understood what you just said, could you repeat that?"

Caller: " My car stalled and now I restarted it, but there is a picture on my dashboard that looks like a submarine."

Me: Okay....(5 second pause to think)... ma'am I think that it might be that your "check engine light is on."

[Image: g7ZNBQF.jpg]


Caller: " my what?"

Me: "Your check engine light, it means that your engine is not running properly, is it flashing?"

Caller: "No"

Me: "Then it should be safe to drive into the dealership and we can look at it for you"

I will now only see a submarine if the check engine light comes on. Facepalm

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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