Breakdown on gays.
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16-01-2012, 11:09 PM
Breakdown on gays.
My friend's bi sexual, and her parents are very aware of her and her girlfriends relationship. They don't completely encourage it, but they are very accepting of it.

My friends girlfriend, on the other hand, is in a different home situation. She's obviously, by appearances, a dike. Her mother never took it to thought, though. or made it known that she was suspicious. Her dad knows, and though (like my friend's parents) he doesn't encourage it, he also accepts it. Her mother, on the other hand, is unaware. The father hasn't told her because he cares much for his daughter, and knows what the outcome would be like.

Recently an incident happened.

My friends girlfriend and her family were on their way to red lobster, in celebration of the girlfriend's parent's anniversary. During the car ride, her parents brought up how some family member had mentioned some photos on facebook (that she'd been tagged in) of the girlfriend kissing my friend, to her mother. The girlfriend dodged the topic during the car ride, and it wasn't brought up again.

After dinner, once the got home, the girlfriend was in her room when suddenly her brother walks in and says "Mom's crying". The girlfriend walks out and confronts her mother, who, at first, ignored her. But then (I kid you not) dropped to her knees, in tears, and pleaded for her daughter to stop being gay.

I found this unbelievable. I feel for my friend, and her girlfriend (who I've also befriended) and I'm worried about them. If the girlfriends mother were to take any extreme precautions to keep her daughter from seeing my friend, it'd be extremely stressful on both of them. And even heartbreaking for me to spectate.

I'm at a loss for words on advice or any words of encouragement at the point, because I've never been in a place where my mom has literally begged me to change myself to the better (in her mind, at least).
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17-01-2012, 02:20 AM
RE: Breakdown on gays.
That is a super tough situation. Are there any local numbers you can track down to help out? I know if my community and country there is a group called PFLAG WEBSITE I am not sure if there is something like this locally for your friend? It is Parents For Lesbian And Gay. If not, there might be something useful on that site for you.

As a friend, it's hard to sit on the side lines and watch someone go through this with their family. We cannot control what other's choices or thoughts are, but we can be a shoulder or sound board for them.

Honestly, it is sad when someone isn't accepted for who they are, especially by a parent who in other ways is loving. I'm sorry to hear about this situation Sad
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17-01-2012, 02:26 AM
RE: Breakdown on gays.
There's no advice to be given. Just the knowledge that people suck and some people suck more than others.
Personally if my daughter ended up bein gay I'd be relieved.
Even if I had a son I might not be relieved but I wouldn't love or support him any less.
I'm not sure how anyone can condition love like that.
True story but before I met my current lady and had my daughter I has never loved anyone and was actually wondering if I may have been a sociopath. Not even kidding.
Then they happened.
I not only learned about myself but about others as well.
I'd been conditioned to think that love was easy to come by, something to be treated no better than the most basic emotion of like.
But now I know that most people must not experience actual love. Because it is there all the fucking time. It is considerate. It is powerful. And most of all it isn't conditional. The person may do things you don't like but no matter how hard you might want to just destroy them... You can't.
Not just physically but emotionally too. I can't fathom findin out my daughter loved someone who wasn't hurtin her and rejecting the whole concept just because I don't like the idea. Because it doesn't suit me.
It wouldn't even be an issue for me. Except you know I wouldn't have to worry about teen pregnancy. And that sounds good to me.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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17-01-2012, 07:58 AM
RE: Breakdown on gays.
Oh my! you'll have to excuse me. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I'm having great difficulty typing this as I'm still laughing. Your friends girlfriend shouldn't let this get to her as her mother is obviously not very bright. If she needs support just tell her to seek comfort from her father as he seems to be a good guy. This whole situation should be interesting to follow. Give her my best.

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17-01-2012, 08:00 AM
RE: Breakdown on gays.
Seems like the time for Dad to step up to the plate. He needs to talk to Mom.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-01-2012, 09:42 AM
 
RE: Breakdown on gays.
I spent 9 hours on the phone with Lindsay, while she was BAWLING her eyes out.
She feels horrible for hurting her mum, but she is not going to change who she is, just to please them.
I'm here for her, because I'm having the same problem, though mine is with my super-religious grandparents.
I just hope that she knows that I love her, and I am willing to even sit down and talk to her mother about it, though I think that would only makes things worse, right now.
Being gay is difficult at times, but I can't help that I've fallen in love with a girl..
Can I?
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17-01-2012, 09:57 AM
RE: Breakdown on gays.
(17-01-2012 09:42 AM)insidemyownmind Wrote:  I spent 9 hours on the phone with Lindsay, while she was BAWLING her eyes out.
She feels horrible for hurting her mum, but she is not going to change who she is, just to please them.
I'm here for her, because I'm having the same problem, though mine is with my super-religious grandparents.
I just hope that she knows that I love her, and I am willing to even sit down and talk to her mother about it, though I think that would only makes things worse, right now.
Being gay is difficult at times, but I can't help that I've fallen in love with a girl..
Can I?

No. You can't. Don't try. I've seen people become really screwed in the head when they tried to change. Do not repress yourself as there is enough people trying to do that for you. Offer your support. Talk to her and all that stuff.

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17-01-2012, 10:01 AM
 
RE: Breakdown on gays.
(17-01-2012 09:57 AM)Hamata k Wrote:  No. You can't. Don't try. I've seen people become really screwed in the head when they tried to change. Do not repress yourself as there is enough people trying to do that for you. Offer your support. Talk to her and all that stuff.

Hamata, this is the first time you've showed me some kind of 'kindness'.
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17-01-2012, 10:54 AM (This post was last modified: 17-01-2012 07:21 PM by Hamata k.)
RE: Breakdown on gays.
I show kindness where kindness is needed. And besides. If everyone is always nice to you, who will tell you your wrong? I'm the truth speaker. You won't like me but hey! I do work that is required. Don't take my insults to heart either as they mean next to nothing.

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17-01-2012, 04:29 PM
RE: Breakdown on gays.
Having to sit on the sidelines and just watch these things happen, is the equivalent of a person trying to repress their feelings. Inevitable. It literally tears me apart to an extent whereas I fumble into depression, can't sleep, and not only does it affect me, but it affects the people I live with and see on a daily basis.

I've even recently come to the idea of taking the blame for some of friends' other, yet still equivalent, problems. Even if it that's not the best outcome, I still feel like it'd lift a burden from them (when in reality they wouldn't want me to do such a thing in the first place, so a burden'd still somewhat remain.)

Having to tolerate it for so long's like being strapped in a chair, with some slight miserable form of pitiful happiness merely inches from your eyes.
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