Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
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24-08-2015, 07:07 PM
Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
So I have a childhood friend who is getting married, I'm not in the bridal party though was invited to the bridal shower and the wedding. I haven't been to one of these things as an adult yet (she's the first of my friends to get married and I'm 23). So I'm confused about the etiquette of this. So me and another friend went half on a couple of larger gifts from her gift registry, a microwave and blender. Plus we are giving her a $10 gift certificate to target and a handmade decorative items that we created together to add some warmth to the gifts. All in all both me and my friend spent $70. Considering we got her large items already and more than one, I don't feel the need to give her an additional gift at the wedding. I figure we just give her all of the gifts now as she already started moving into her new house and considering they are useful gifts it's better to do it now than at her wedding in a few months. I don't want to seem cheap, but I just moved into my first apartment alone and money is a bit tight since I'm just starting a new job. And yes her wedding isn't for a few months....but I already spend a decent amount on these gifts for her. I'm just looking for third party opinions on this because I'm getting conflicted answers from family and friends.
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24-08-2015, 07:47 PM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
(24-08-2015 07:07 PM)jerseygirlar Wrote:  So I have a childhood friend who is getting married, I'm not in the bridal party though was invited to the bridal shower and the wedding. I haven't been to one of these things as an adult yet (she's the first of my friends to get married and I'm 23). So I'm confused about the etiquette of this. So me and another friend went half on a couple of larger gifts from her gift registry, a microwave and blender. Plus we are giving her a $10 gift certificate to target and a handmade decorative items that we created together to add some warmth to the gifts. All in all both me and my friend spent $70. Considering we got her large items already and more than one, I don't feel the need to give her an additional gift at the wedding. I figure we just give her all of the gifts now as she already started moving into her new house and considering they are useful gifts it's better to do it now than at her wedding in a few months. I don't want to seem cheap, but I just moved into my first apartment alone and money is a bit tight since I'm just starting a new job. And yes her wedding isn't for a few months....but I already spend a decent amount on these gifts for her. I'm just looking for third party opinions on this because I'm getting conflicted answers from family and friends.

No. You should also buy a wedding gift. I know that sucks, but two invitations technically mean two gifts.

A good rule of thumb is to try to guess how much she is probably spending per head for her guests. That is how much you should spend on her wedding gift. If you think that you've surpassed that with your wedding shower gift, and if your financial situation prohibits you from stretching your budget to cover up a possible social blunder, then at least buy her a nice card and hand write a tasteful note inside of it.
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24-08-2015, 08:10 PM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
At least back when I was younger, bridal shower gifts were gifts for the bride...think lingerie. Wedding gifts were more for the couple or household items.

Not sure how the rules have changed over the years. It's been a long time since I went to either.

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24-08-2015, 08:55 PM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
(24-08-2015 08:10 PM)Anjele Wrote:  At least back when I was younger, bridal shower gifts were gifts for the bride...think lingerie. Wedding gifts were more for the couple or household items.

Not sure how the rules have changed over the years. It's been a long time since I went to either.

Yes! Yes, that too. It really depends on what the bride registers for, but there are showers held wherein the bride gets lingerie.
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24-08-2015, 09:25 PM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
We had a huge wedding...so...
When I got married I had four bridal showers.

One was a kitchen themed one. Another was a bedroom/bath shower. The third was lingerie, naughty stuff, shower. The fourth was a combo, house type stuff...

We needed everything when we got married, so while I thought at the time it was silly, I was very grateful for the stuff.

We got mostly china, and other fancy stuff like that as wedding gifts.


But yes, you give a shower gift if your invited and then a wedding gift.


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24-08-2015, 10:58 PM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
Well this is a pretty small wedding, pretty inexpensive. And i was thinking of giving lingere but I was informed that the bride's very conservative mother and her and her fiance's underage sisters would be there....so sex toys, lingere, etc....not really good for that. There are even going to be two bachelorette parties one for the under 21 crowd and parents and one for her close girlfriends. But she's not having this apply to her bridal, go figure. No
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24-08-2015, 11:11 PM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
If you're sour about giving two gifts get her a really crappy second gift. Something that she doesn't need and will in fact cost her a lot of money/time/effort to maintain. ie: a pony or african baby orphan.

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25-08-2015, 06:13 AM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
(24-08-2015 10:58 PM)jerseygirlar Wrote:  Well this is a pretty small wedding, pretty inexpensive. And i was thinking of giving lingere but I was informed that the bride's very conservative mother and her and her fiance's underage sisters would be there....so sex toys, lingere, etc....not really good for that. There are even going to be two bachelorette parties one for the under 21 crowd and parents and one for her close girlfriends. But she's not having this apply to her bridal, go figure. No

.... Yeah..... no lingere.

That's actually quite a few parties for such a small affair. But hey, look on the bright side, I don't believe that you're expected to buy the bride any gifts on the bachelorette party. I've never actually been to one to know. Blush

Maybe you'll chip in to buy the bride a drink if that's what's other people are doing.
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25-08-2015, 06:55 AM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
You could always go for a cheap box of sparkling wine and 2 faux plastic champagne glasses. Looks intimate, but isn't so intimate as to be "naughty." Should pass the Mom test, unless she's WCTU or something.

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25-08-2015, 07:19 AM
RE: Bridal shower gifts vs wedding gifts
I'm going with the African orphan. And the pony.

Or buy her a puppy or a pet rat. Or both.

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