Came out to my sister as an atheist
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06-05-2014, 08:52 PM
RE: Came out to my sister as an atheist
Thank you very much, Kim!
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07-05-2014, 01:06 AM
RE: Came out to my sister as an atheist
(06-05-2014 05:49 PM)beeglez Wrote:  No BlackMason,

I am in no way being selfish. If I were, I'd just casually call up my dad and say "Guess what. I'm an atheist, and fuck religion!" Perhaps I didn't give enough detail in my original post to make it clear what my thoughts on telling my dad were. From the very start, I was adamant he would never know. He was the one person I planned not to tell no matter what. The only reason I am even considering telling him now is because my sister said she thought I should as it would be more painful for him to find out accidentally. There are any number of ways that could happen. A news clip of me at a secular event, a friend mentioning that she saw that I 'liked' the Thinking Atheist on Facebook, my forgetting to put away my copy of "American Atheist" magazine if he drops by for a visit. I have been extremely careful so far, but my sister is right, things can happen. I am torn over what to do. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want him to find out on his own either. He is terminally ill, but not on his deathbed. He could live another year, two, even more. He was told about 4 years ago that the 5 year survival rate was 50%.

There is no 'grand coming out' or 'time in the spotlight'. I am probably one of the least egotistical people in my family and circle of friends. I'm a little surprised to have to explain why I shouldn't keep my non-belief a secret here, but it basically boils down to the fact that I'm tired of covering up and covering my tracks. I hate that I went to an FFRF conference this weekend and had to lie and tell my family I was going to a veterinary conference and tell work I was going to visit friends. Seriously. I'm almost 40 years old, and I feel like a teenager telling her parents she is going to a school dance when in fact she's going to a college party. It is stupid and I don't wish to keep it up for the rest of my life. I'm tired of telling friends not to tag me in photos at a Meetup, tired of not being able to so much as comment on a post on an atheist related facebook page, and tired of not being able to talk about my new friends to old friends. I don't want to meet a Christian friend in public while out with an atheist friend and struggle over what to say when I introduce them. If I went to a church retreat, I could freely post photos, tell people what a great time I had, and talk freely about the cool people a met. Why shouldn't I be able to do the same thing a religious person can do? It isn't about cramming it down anyone's throat or being militant. It is about.....just being.

I didn't realise just how many ways you could've been outted. I thought the only possibility was if you came out to your other family members. I also didn't realise you were independent. The cover-ups you're describing are kinda like how I have to live. It's shit. But then again I don't have a terminally ill family member. So it's been do-able for me.

Anyway good luck.

8000 years before Jesus, the Egyptian god Horus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life."
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07-05-2014, 03:34 AM (This post was last modified: 07-05-2014 03:39 AM by djhall.)
RE: Came out to my sister as an atheist
You know, there are a lot of things that really drive me crazy about the kinds of people who live around San Francisco, Berkeley, and Davis, but then I read these threads.

Honestly, I'd be more afraid of being publicly outed as a Christian than an atheist around here.

Though being Christian is probably better than being Republican.....

Just don't let anyone publicly accuse you of being a Tea Party member! Tell them you are a Muslim instead.... at least that way they won't call you a terrorist.

It freaks me out when I visit my best friend back in Kansas City. Someone will offer to say a pre-meal prayer at a group dinner and I automatically look around to see how many people are horrified and if anyone is going to object or get up and leave.
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07-05-2014, 03:51 AM
RE: Came out to my sister as an atheist
Honesty is the best policy.

Better that he find out sooner than later, and from you rather than someone else; so long as you're positive revealing that information won't threaten or harm you. I hate to be pessimistic, but the realist in me has seen and heard enough to put that caveat in there for good reason.

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07-05-2014, 06:53 AM
RE: Came out to my sister as an atheist
(07-05-2014 03:34 AM)djhall Wrote:  You know, there are a lot of things that really drive me crazy about the kinds of people who live around San Francisco, Berkeley, and Davis, but then I read these threads.

Honestly, I'd be more afraid of being publicly outed as a Christian than an atheist around here.

Though being Christian is probably better than being Republican.....

Just don't let anyone publicly accuse you of being a Tea Party member! Tell them you are a Muslim instead.... at least that way they won't call you a terrorist.

It freaks me out when I visit my best friend back in Kansas City. Someone will offer to say a pre-meal prayer at a group dinner and I automatically look around to see how many people are horrified and if anyone is going to object or get up and leave.

What universe do you live in?
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