Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
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28-04-2014, 09:08 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 09:01 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 08:48 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  I can totally respect not wanting to go the meds route, I was the same way. Getting a healthy amount of sleep (not too much), a healthy diet, exercise, and talk therapy did a world of good for me. That and not withdrawing from friends and family like I craved to.

If those don't work it actually could be a chemical imbalance. Nothing wrong with resorting to meds if that is the case. Just gotta find what works best for you.

That's a big one for me. My automatic reaction when I'm feeling down is to isolate myself and withdraw from everyone, and that's never good. If it's just you sitting with your thoughts, there's nothing there to counter all that negativity.

I'm usually by myself anyways, so...

(28-04-2014 09:04 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I'm okay, Ryan. Trying to sort through my divorce and all, yes. I was referring to the roughly two-year-long depression I went through as my marriage was falling apart (or rather, as I was accepting that it was over for me).

There's still a lot of work ahead, but things are looking brighter and brighter for me every day. I hope so much for the same to be true of you. That things will begin to look up for you soon. Hug

I'm glad to hear it, honestly Smile
How are the kids doing?

Atir aissom atir imon
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28-04-2014, 09:13 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 09:02 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Alexis, I know you're reading this. Stop apologizing. I don't blame you. Your parents are just doing what they think is best for you. I may not agree, but it is not my place to intervene. You don't need to feel bad, you know how to reach me if you need to. You'll be fine without me Smile

Okay..
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28-04-2014, 09:19 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 09:13 PM)Im_Alexis Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 09:02 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Alexis, I know you're reading this. Stop apologizing. I don't blame you. Your parents are just doing what they think is best for you. I may not agree, but it is not my place to intervene. You don't need to feel bad, you know how to reach me if you need to. You'll be fine without me Smile

Okay..

So when it all comes crashing, know you're not alone Thumbsup

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28-04-2014, 09:20 PM (This post was last modified: 28-04-2014 09:58 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 08:30 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  ...a family man?

Um ... yeah. Of course.
Don't you have a family now ?

The business of "no meds for me" is really not all that productive.
Your brain is a puddle of mush and chemicals. If it isn't making the right ones in the right balance that needs to get fixed, like yesterday. GO TO THE DOCTOR, ya dummy.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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28-04-2014, 09:25 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 09:19 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 09:13 PM)Im_Alexis Wrote:  Okay..

So when it all comes crashing, know you're not alone Thumbsup


Thank you
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28-04-2014, 09:32 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 09:08 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 09:01 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  That's a big one for me. My automatic reaction when I'm feeling down is to isolate myself and withdraw from everyone, and that's never good. If it's just you sitting with your thoughts, there's nothing there to counter all that negativity.

I'm usually by myself anyways, so...

(28-04-2014 09:04 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I'm okay, Ryan. Trying to sort through my divorce and all, yes. I was referring to the roughly two-year-long depression I went through as my marriage was falling apart (or rather, as I was accepting that it was over for me).

There's still a lot of work ahead, but things are looking brighter and brighter for me every day. I hope so much for the same to be true of you. That things will begin to look up for you soon. Hug

I'm glad to hear it, honestly Smile
How are the kids doing?

They're doing well. We had a great weekend together, actually. Just hung out and did stuff. And I played around with my own hobbies as well. I'm going to do all I can to keep them primarily with me whenever all this shakes out, but I'm also going to be me.

Goddamn, what is with my rambling tonight? Laugh out load I'm fuckin' tired, I guess. Tongue

Point is, I feel better than I did before. I just panicked for a bit, is all. Questioned myself on some things. Wondered if I was doing right by the kids as I thought I was. We'll all be okay. Me, the kids.

And eventually... Revs. Big Grin happy happy - okay sleepy brain - goodnight all Sleepy

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28-04-2014, 09:37 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
You need to get you better before dragging children into your mess. It's not a child job to fulfill your desire to be a family man. It's not a child's job to be your project to focus on. Usually children make mental health issues worse because kids aren't easy. They are non stop 24 hour 7 days a week jobs. Kids deserve parents who have their shit together.


Get to the doc, quit playing games, look yourself in the mirror and admit that you got some fucking issues that you need medical help for. Get your shit together, keep it together for a good long time, then consider kids.

I know this post isn't my soft usual fluff, but I figure you appreciate someone who doesn't sugar coat.

Straight up- you need a shrink.

Love ya. I hope you go. I really, really do.

Hug Heart


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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28-04-2014, 09:39 PM (This post was last modified: 28-04-2014 09:46 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 08:30 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  ...a family man?

Fuck, I'm not even sure where to start or if I even want to really get into this. I feel compelled to talk about this, but I don't really have anyone at the moment, so you all are stuck with me. Just go with it.

I've been having more suicidal thoughts lately, more than usual. Way more. Like at any point in the day I'm finding interesting ways to kill myself. It sounds weird, but it's become a game to me now. I just...don't care. I don't care if I live, or if I die. I don't fear death nor do I care about life. The only thing stopping me is just that...I don't care. Life is so low right now, I might as well play this stupid game and see where it goes, right?

I've been like this for... don't even know. I want to say most if not all my life. I remember as a kid holding a knife to my throat wondering what it would feel like to bleed out. I was probably eight, maybe younger. My thinking of suicide as a game started in high school. I wanted to find the funniest way to kill myself, not for attention, but just to get a good laugh for myself and to picture the poor guy's face as he stumbles upon my body.

Fuck, I sound emo. I'm not emo, I don't cut, I don't do drugs, I get (or got) good grades, I have a job and am about to start college. I have my few close friends and my many acquaintances, I have (for the most part) a good family; I'm just the average kid on the block.

I'm just rambling now... I don't know. I suppose I should explain the purpose of this title/question. Well, that's because that is the only thing I actually look forward to in this life. Literally, that's it. Don't give a shit about anything else. I mean sure, concerts are fun, hanging out with friends is nice, but it doesn't make me happy...or at least the happiness doesn't last.

The only times I've been truly happy was when I was with a girl I loved. I know, I know, "you're [insert teenage year here] and you don't know what love is" or "you just 'loved the sex'" or "there's plenty more fish in the see, you got your whole life ahead of you", blah blah blah. Everyone repeat after me, "Ryan gives not a fuck". Get it? Got it? Good. Yes, even in depression I'm a sarcastic ass. I know it, now you do.

Well, back on topic, ever since I was...say...about 15 or so, I've wanted a family. I just want a group of people who care and that I can care for. That's it...not so much to ask right? Well apparently so.


TL;DR: Ryan's a dark, sarcastic asshole suffering from chronic depression and feels like he is mentally stable enough to have a family at 19.

PS: While typing this, I've just been informed that the only person I've been opening up about this to, can no longer have any contact with me because I'm an atheist. Sigh...so much for better. I'm assuming you guys won't be seeing much of Im_Alexis anymore. Gotta love the timing of Moms, right? This shit is so depressing it's fucking comical. Where the fuck did I put the vodka....

I just let it roll baby roll, let it roll baby roll ... future's uncertain and the end is always near. Let it roll baby roll.




#sigh
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28-04-2014, 09:50 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
I don't know what to add tonight Ryan...I am in a pretty low place myself. I hope you feel better and that others can help. For now, this is all I can offer...

[Image: hugthepieces_zps1588ced2.jpg]

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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28-04-2014, 09:52 PM
RE: Can Anyone Here Picture Me As...
(28-04-2014 09:20 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 08:30 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  ...a family man?

Um ... yeah. Of course.
Don't you have family now ?

The business of "no meds for me" is really not all that productive.
Your brain is a puddle of mush and chemicals. If it isn't making the right ones in the right balance that needs to get fixed, like yesterday. GO TO THE DOCTOR, ya dummy.

Lol, I'll think about it

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