Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
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18-07-2012, 07:11 AM
Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
I have been friends with this girl for roughly 8 years now. I have recently began dating her and we are six months in. She has known about my lack of belief since the beginning. She hasn't exactly been okay with it, but I also haven't been in her face about it either. She recently dropped a bombshell on me: "I think I will need to be with someone that I can share my passions for God with." We had a long, and irritating and irrational, discussion about the issue. She wants me to have a talk with the preacher and she wants to consult him with what she should do. Needless to say, I am not happy about this.

Basically in about two weeks me and her will have a sit down with her preacher. He will basically, in simple terms, tell her who she can have a relationship with. This obviously will not set well with me because I personally think it would be an abusing of "power" to waiver in on situations like this. It feels like to me that the preacher will be giving false warrant for something he really should have no say in.

Needless to say this will cause me much grief. It will cause me more grief than if it was a friend of her's telling her that I am a bad choice because she actually looks to the preacher as if his word is valid in relationships.

I think I already know the answer, but surely there must be something you can't get away with just by calling yourself a preacher? If this preacher does what I know he will--express how I am a bad choice, how if we were married she would have to live with the fact I will go to hell, and put words in my mouth saying I might try to convert her and the children, then I want to take some form of action. This will be the first time a church has interfered directly in my life and for some reason this is starting to feel like a serious breech of my mental health. I feel it might have some form of legal ground considering it is a direct interference with me, someone who isn't apart of the faith. It almost feels like discrimination; well, it would be.

"We Humans are capable of greatness." -Carl Sagan
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18-07-2012, 07:21 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
If he is truly a man a God, he will not tell your GF that you two shouldn't be together. If I was in that preacher's situation, I would tell both of you the reality of the future of your relationship.

That is, it would become increasingly hard and more tense the longer and deeper the relationship got, and, if you got married and had children, the stress would compound because you would disagree on how to raise them.

I (as the preacher) would encourage your GF to seek God on how to handle the situation, and I (as the preacher) would encourage you to come to some sort of compromise with your GF. Both of you are not changing your core beliefs; therefore, it will make for a difficult but not impossible future.

That's what I would say... as a Christian advice-giver-person.

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18-07-2012, 07:44 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
Thanks for the response KC. I would hope the preacher would be as reasonable as you are, unfortunately I live in the south. Preachers are not the easiest to get along with down here.

As for the tension, I have no problem with people being religious, as long as they do not abuse it (Hate speech toward gays, atheist, and other religions, condemnation to hell, or take the "I art more holier than thou" position.) I would never question her beliefs, and the only situation in where I would offer my thoughts on it would be one that was asked for.

As far as raising our children, she is a very moderate christian. She isn't bible thumping really at all. She, surprisingly is far from what I would expect a christian to be. She used to be lesbian and an atheist, and she currently sees nothing wrong with sexual intercourse outside of marriage, cursing, and drinking like crazy. (One hell of a fun girl if you ask me) So I don't see too many things that she might provoke me with other than bringing them to church, which I am not really sure how I would feel about that.

My whole position on religion is "I do not know". Nothing more. Nothing less.

"We Humans are capable of greatness." -Carl Sagan
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18-07-2012, 08:05 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
Hey, NSV.

You're in it. You're angry. Cross-cultural relationships are tricky. End of story.

Forget all that legal stuff. It's nonsense. McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit nonsense. Focus on what's important.

The point you're missing is that she has a fundamental issue with the relationship and how it's clashing with what's important to her in life and SHE IS TRYING TO RECONCILE THE TWO. She didn't say, "I'm out of here, bitch," she said, "Can we figure this out?"

Think about that. A lot.

If you want this relationship, fight for it. Don't just say, "fucking Christians," and throw up your hands.

Don't go into this meeting with her preacher with a negative attitude. If you do that, you might as well not go because it'll blow up; guaranteed. Go in with a positive attitude. Assume that he's an ally.

Most importantly, know what you want, know what your limits are and once you're honest with yourself about that, go balls out.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
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18-07-2012, 08:05 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
(18-07-2012 07:44 AM)NotSoVacuous Wrote:  Thanks for the response KC. I would hope the preacher would be as reasonable as you are, unfortunately I live in the south. Preachers are not the easiest to get along with down here.

As for the tension, I have no problem with people being religious, as long as they do not abuse it (Hate speech toward gays, atheist, and other religions, condemnation to hell, or take the "I art more holier than thou" position.) I would never question her beliefs, and the only situation in where I would offer my thoughts on it would be one that was asked for.

As far as raising our children, she is a very moderate christian. She isn't bible thumping really at all. She, surprisingly is far from what I would expect a christian to be. She used to be lesbian and an atheist, and she currently sees nothing wrong with sexual intercourse outside of marriage, cursing, and drinking like crazy. (One hell of a fun girl if you ask me) So I don't see too many things that she might provoke me with other than bringing them to church, which I am not really sure how I would feel about that.

My whole position on religion is "I do not know". Nothing more. Nothing less.
What do you hope to gain from meeting with the preacher? As KC pointed out, a long-term relationship is problematic.

I would tell her that her requiring the meeting is the end of the relationship.

Don't think with your dick.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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18-07-2012, 08:08 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
You have no cause of action and, given that you agreed to go see this guy, you have no one to blame but yourself.

FWIW, if she's this hung up on religion then the relationship can't work, regardless of what the preacher says. You can't really be with someone who you expect is facing an eternity of damnation. Makes it tough to cuddle up with them at night.

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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18-07-2012, 08:08 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
Well, why don't we just put this female piece of ass up on the sale block so we can all get a look at her ample tits, check her teeth, and make sure she has those childbearing hips? She's obviously nothing more than that.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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18-07-2012, 08:13 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
(18-07-2012 08:08 AM)kim Wrote:  Well, why don't we just put this female piece of ass up on the sale block so we can all get a look at her ample tits, check her teeth, and make sure she has those childbearing hips? She's obviously nothing more than that.
Sorry, you are mistaking us for Christians.

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18-07-2012, 08:14 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
Post a picture please so I can give you a reasoned answer.
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18-07-2012, 08:16 AM
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
(18-07-2012 08:14 AM)Jeff Wrote:  Post a picture please so I can give you a reasoned answer.
Her--and my--anonymity will remain. Sorry.

And I see where you might be going with this. Yes, she is well worth the fight.

"We Humans are capable of greatness." -Carl Sagan
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