Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
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19-07-2012, 05:37 PM (This post was last modified: 19-07-2012 05:43 PM by ideasonscribe.)
RE: Can a church be sued for psychological damages?
(18-07-2012 07:11 AM)NotSoVacuous Wrote:  I have been friends with this girl for roughly 8 years now. I have recently began dating her and we are six months in. She has known about my lack of belief since the beginning. She hasn't exactly been okay with it, but I also haven't been in her face about it either. She recently dropped a bombshell on me: "I think I will need to be with someone that I can share my passions for God with." We had a long, and irritating and irrational, discussion about the issue. She wants me to have a talk with the preacher and she wants to consult him with what she should do. Needless to say, I am not happy about this.

Basically in about two weeks me and her will have a sit down with her preacher. He will basically, in simple terms, tell her who she can have a relationship with. This obviously will not set well with me because I personally think it would be an abusing of "power" to waiver in on situations like this. It feels like to me that the preacher will be giving false warrant for something he really should have no say in.

Needless to say this will cause me much grief. It will cause me more grief than if it was a friend of her's telling her that I am a bad choice because she actually looks to the preacher as if his word is valid in relationships.

I think I already know the answer, but surely there must be something you can't get away with just by calling yourself a preacher? If this preacher does what I know he will--express how I am a bad choice, how if we were married she would have to live with the fact I will go to hell, and put words in my mouth saying I might try to convert her and the children, then I want to take some form of action. This will be the first time a church has interfered directly in my life and for some reason this is starting to feel like a serious breech of my mental health. I feel it might have some form of legal ground considering it is a direct interference with me, someone who isn't apart of the faith. It almost feels like discrimination; well, it would be.
A good way to handle yourself in certain situations is often not what your immediate reaction will be.
In this case, you need to relax and ask yourself some questions about the relationship.
Is her faith something you can tolerate (for now)?
Are you willing to grow with her to learn just what kind of person she will eventually be as a Christian?
Do you really care about her apart from her faith?
If you choose to separate from her because of her belief, then you will essentially be doing the same thing you wouldn't want her to do to you.

If you both have been arguing about the issue for some time, making certain compromises may actually be more beneficial than you would think.
An example would be; if you have been feeling like crap about this, then most likely she knows you disagree with going to see any preacher about your relationship.
Instead of ripping away from her, just humor her in a way that would make her feel that you care about her being happy.
Even if you go to the preacher with her just to ignore everything he says, if you actually go with her, she may very well appreciate that you were willing to do that just for her.
It shows that you have a soft and caring heart.

Yes I know, a lot of peoples response on here is that she is an idiot and you shouldn't take her seriously at all and just get rid of her.
That's a rash decision and I don't know what your situation is with her altogether, but I think it's safe to say that you don't have to compromise who you are in a relationship. Showing her that you care and want things to work out will make her so happy.
Most people, if you do that, even when you say "I'm still an atheist.." they will feel like you care a LOT about them.

Taking the 'high road' usually ends well.


Edit: Oh, and if she wants you to go see the preacher by yourself, that's a bit rough. I would recommend telling her you don't feel comfortable with that. You could explain further why you're not comfortable in the best way you can without getting too upset.
If she can't understand that, then the situation may just be that she will not accept you as an Atheist.
But, like I said, be the better man. If you end up out of this relationship, end up out knowing you did what you could, and she rejected you.
If that is truly the case, then you two would have never worked out to begin with - Regardless of her belief.

“What you believe to be true will control you, whether it’s true or not.”

—Jeremy LaBorde
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