Can you help?
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15-09-2011, 07:15 PM
Can you help?
Lately my uncle has been acting like a real douchebag. here is a bit of back story:

We live at my grandmas
It is NOT my uncles house
My uncle is obviously NOT my parent

Lately he has been trying to play my father and set rules for me and shit, but it is none of his business. One particular example is he tried telling me that I am not allowed to nail things to the wall in my room, even though, as stated, I am not his son and it isn't his house. Also, he threatens to take away my connection to his internet (he pays for the service) if I don't get to bed by midnight.

I want to stick up to him, but I am worried if I do there will be negative consequences for me in terms of where I stand in the family. But, I don't want to keep on taking shit from him either. What the hell should I do?

Really, really desperate for help here because its killing me inside.

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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15-09-2011, 07:23 PM
RE: Can you help?
(15-09-2011 07:15 PM)latvianxave8 Wrote:  Lately my uncle has been acting like a real douchebag.

Are you capable of kicking your uncle's ass? If so then hang whatever the hell you want on the walls of your room, if not then don't.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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15-09-2011, 07:25 PM
RE: Can you help?
If he kicks my ass I call CPS and he goes to jail. lol either way I win that war.

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15-09-2011, 08:06 PM
RE: Can you help?
Talk to your grandmother about the situation. It is her house after all. If she says it is okay to hang stuff up, you can always direct your uncle to your grandmother when he has a problem. I would also think about paying for my own internet (that is if you are old enough to hold a job). That way he can't threaten you with that.
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15-09-2011, 08:49 PM
RE: Can you help?
(15-09-2011 07:25 PM)latvianxave8 Wrote:  If he kicks my ass I call CPS and he goes to jail. lol either way I win that war.

It's not clear to me that you win. Always consider the potential ramifications of your actions.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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15-09-2011, 09:12 PM
RE: Can you help?
(15-09-2011 08:06 PM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  Talk to your grandmother about the situation. It is her house after all. If she says it is okay to hang stuff up, you can always direct your uncle to your grandmother when he has a problem. I would also think about paying for my own internet (that is if you are old enough to hold a job). That way he can't threaten you with that.

I was thinking about doing both of those things, actually. Good to see that others share in my ideas.

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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15-09-2011, 09:14 PM
RE: Can you help?
Insufficient data.

How old are you?
Where are your parents?
Do you go to school?
Do you earn a living?
Do you contribute to the household?
Does your uncle contribute?
Who is in charge?
What's wrong with sticky putty?

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15-09-2011, 09:20 PM
RE: Can you help?
(15-09-2011 09:14 PM)Peterkin Wrote:  Insufficient data.

How old are you?
Where are your parents?
Do you go to school?
Do you earn a living?
Do you contribute to the household?
Does your uncle contribute?
Who is in charge?
What's wrong with sticky putty?

16
My dad is unknown, my mom lives with my other aunt
Yes
No
I do chores and cook occasionally
He pays for internet.
The grandmother is in charge of me, my uncle/aunt is in charge of my cousins
I don't know

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~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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16-09-2011, 08:52 AM
RE: Can you help?
Get to bed by midnight on weekdays, okay?
Unless you know how, and are willing, to refinish walls, stop putting holes in them.
Brush your teeth. Say no to drugs.

As for the uncle, maybe he cares. Maybe he worries. Maybe he feels responsible.
.... or maybe he's a douchebag... though i would use that word very, very sparingly around people i didn't want terminally pissed at me.

So, how about this?
Set up a meeting with him and your grandmother and try to work out - calmly, everybody giving everybody else both a chance to speak and the benefit of a doubt - some system of rules and limits that makes all of you reasonably happy, but none of you lording it over the others.

If you pray to anything, you're prey to anything.
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16-09-2011, 11:29 PM
RE: Can you help?
(15-09-2011 09:14 PM)Peterkin Wrote:  Insufficient data.

How old are you? - 16
Where are your parents? - My dad is unknown, my mom lives with my other aunt
Do you go to school? - Yes
Do you earn a living? - No
Do you contribute to the household? - I do chores and cook occasionally
Does your uncle contribute? - He pays for internet.
Who is in charge? - The grandmother is in charge of me, my uncle/aunt is in charge of my cousins
What's wrong with sticky putty? - I don't know

Damn dude, that family situation is like Harry Potter crazy. Tell me your room is not underneath the stairs. Wink

I'm not a psychologist but I am most certainly qualified to speak on behalf of all GirlyMen everywhere. How old is your uncle and why is he still living in his mother's house? If it's because she is feeble and infirmed and he has to play nurse all day and all night then he is understandably using you to vent his stress and frustration. If it's because he is incapable of supporting and housing himself then he is unacceptably using you to vent his stress and frustration. He probably resents his circumstances and irrationally and unreasonably projects them onto you. In either case this sounds like an excellent opportunity for you to learn early on the invaluable skill of tolerance. You're only a couple years away from the age of independence, for now I'd probably just roll with it and leave the demarcation between tolerance and being a pussy for later. I guarantee that circumstances will present that lesson sooner or later, best to have some advance homework in hand. Wink

P.S. And you better be studying your math and science heavily right now or you might still be living in your grandmother's house decades from now. Just this technophile's opinion.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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