Catholic Rosary Service
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22-03-2014, 03:13 AM
Catholic Rosary Service
So my grandfather recently passed away, and I am traveling home to attend the funeral mass.

However, my mother is telling me about this rosary service that will take place a few days earlier and mentions it as if we are all going. I used to go to these things as a kid since I was raised Catholic, and they seriously suck dick. I do not want to waste three hours of my life rubbing some beads and chanting nonsense...but...

Should I suck it up and just go through with it to prevent any conflict or misunderstanding? Or should I put my foot down and ask for a little respect concerning my own beliefs?

She basically kind of knows that I am an atheist, but we never talk about it and she has never really stopped with any of the stuff we used to do when we were all still religious. Like saying grace at the table and stuff. So we always have to say join in and say grace and it is kind of annoying and awkward...but anyways, getting off topic lol. Just a little back story for you.
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22-03-2014, 04:33 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
It's hard for me to answer this one as I do not come from a religious family so I have never experienced conflict from these types of situations. Is the rosary service part of your Grandfather's wake or a separate thing?

If it's part of it I'd just go. But if it's a separate thing and your mom is just assuming you'll be going perhaps you can just explain that you'd rather not. But try and be non confrontational about it as it's probably not the best time to tackle belief vs non belief just after your Grandfather has died. You could save that for a less emotional time.

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22-03-2014, 04:41 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
The funeral is for the sake of those left behind, not for the deceased. Going to a Rosary service and doing all that active praying isn't going to help you. In fact it might just make it worse. The last thing you need right now is to feel resentment. Be honest with your mum. After all, it's not like it's the funeral, it's some extra stuff added to the whole grieving process. Everyone needs to grieve in their own ways.
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22-03-2014, 05:44 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
Even though you're not Catholic, the rosary could still be useful. I find chanting the rosary in large groups is a great way to be alone in ones thoughts. Maybe you could use it that way so you don't have to see it as a waste of time and you would still please your family.

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22-03-2014, 06:01 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
(22-03-2014 03:13 AM)Archipater Wrote:  However, my mother is telling me about this rosary service that will take place a few days earlier and mentions it as if we are all going. I used to go to these things as a kid since I was raised Catholic, and they seriously suck dick. I do not want to waste three hours of my life rubbing some beads and chanting nonsense...but...

My advice: tell your mom that you will go to the rosary service because you love her and your grandpa.

You definitely don't want to waste three hours of your life rubbing some beads and chanting nonsense, and that why it is called effort. Love your family takes effort, which is what makes it cherishable.

Tell your mom you love her and let she know it in this way.

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22-03-2014, 08:03 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
(22-03-2014 03:13 AM)Archipater Wrote:  Should I suck it up and just go through with it to prevent any conflict or misunderstanding? Or should I put my foot down and ask for a little respect concerning my own beliefs?

I'm not sure how old you are or what your situation looks like at home. I don't know how bad the backlash would be for you.

For me, I still go to funerals, which tend to be overtly religious during at least some part of the service. I find it awkward, but I still go. Having never been Catholic, I have no idea what a rosary service entails exactly, but it sounds like I'd be uncomfortable there. Personally, I would not go, so long as there were other funeral/visitation services I could attend, instead.

Again, I have no idea what your family life is like. Good luck figuring it out! Big Grin
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22-03-2014, 08:33 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
(22-03-2014 03:13 AM)Archipater Wrote:  So my grandfather recently passed away, and I am traveling home to attend the funeral mass.

However, my mother is telling me about this rosary service that will take place a few days earlier and mentions it as if we are all going. I used to go to these things as a kid since I was raised Catholic, and they seriously suck dick. I do not want to waste three hours of my life rubbing some beads and chanting nonsense...but...

Should I suck it up and just go through with it to prevent any conflict or misunderstanding? Or should I put my foot down and ask for a little respect concerning my own beliefs?

She basically kind of knows that I am an atheist, but we never talk about it and she has never really stopped with any of the stuff we used to do when we were all still religious. Like saying grace at the table and stuff. So we always have to say join in and say grace and it is kind of annoying and awkward...but anyways, getting off topic lol. Just a little back story for you.


If you don't believe in it, don't go. If she wonders why, just tell here that you don't want to disrespect the ceremony and the faith of those participating by pretending to be something you are not. It's simple, honest, and doesn't denigrate them or their faith.

A funeral is no the time to be fighting over faith, nor is it a license for the faithful to impose themselves on others.

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22-03-2014, 09:16 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
Just over two years ago my father passed away. He was a Catholic. I arranged that the priest came to his bed to give him the last rites etc... me and my brother, who is also an atheist, arranged the funeral mass. Just before the lid was put on the coffin my uncle did the Rosary. It's what my father would have wanted. Whilst those around me churned out a lot of hail Mary's, I used the Rosary service as an opportunity to reflect and remember the good times me and my old man had together. So if I was you I'd go along to the service. You don't have to follow the responses and say the hail Mary's, just use the time to reflect and remember your grand father.

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22-03-2014, 11:08 AM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
When my husband's grandmother passed, at the rosary we were in a separate room adjacent to where the praying was. We just sat and chatted quietly about how much we'll miss her. Don't know what went on during the rosary.

I've been to other rosary services where people didn't really actively pray the rosary. They just talked quietly with other family members.


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22-03-2014, 09:18 PM
RE: Catholic Rosary Service
(22-03-2014 03:13 AM)Archipater Wrote:  So my grandfather recently passed away, and I am traveling home to attend the funeral mass.

However, my mother is telling me about this rosary service that will take place a few days earlier and mentions it as if we are all going. I used to go to these things as a kid since I was raised Catholic, and they seriously suck dick. I do not want to waste three hours of my life rubbing some beads and chanting nonsense...but...

Should I suck it up and just go through with it to prevent any conflict or misunderstanding? Or should I put my foot down and ask for a little respect concerning my own beliefs?

She basically kind of knows that I am an atheist, but we never talk about it and she has never really stopped with any of the stuff we used to do when we were all still religious. Like saying grace at the table and stuff. So we always have to say join in and say grace and it is kind of annoying and awkward...but anyways, getting off topic lol. Just a little back story for you.

Please put your foot down and tell us how it goes.
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