Cats in heaven?...is that even possible?
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27-01-2014, 10:11 PM (This post was last modified: 28-01-2014 05:36 PM by Raptor Jesus.)
Cats in heaven?...is that even possible?
Silly, stupid Christians. I just spied on a Christian forum, and someone posted a thread on this topic, asking what others thought about their pet cats being allowed in heaven.

Everyone was completely certain that heaven would be full of all their pets. They say that they prayed deeply on it, and unsurprisingly, everyone of them were told by "God" that he wants them to have all of their their pets in heaven. Odd how that works out perfectly for what they themselves already wanted to be true. Almost as though they just made it up.


My favorite response to the question in the tread was the following:
"I do know without doubt that there will be a Lion up there. It will be interesting to see how heaven would change the behavior of cats and dogs. Will cats continue to be aloof? Will dogs slobber in heaven? How will they react to squirrels? Will we use messenger parrots?"
Very, very good points, every single one.

I just wonder if that many pets will become overwhelming. Considering I have two dogs, and a cat, not to mention a salt water aquarium. That's enough to take care of already. I could only imagine if I all all the snakes, and lizards, and frogs, and hamsters and technically speaking all the mice I fed to my snake, and all the crickets to my lizards, and the newts I had, all the fish I ever had in all of the aquariums I've ever had as a child. Just to have them all at once again. That would be chaos. And what about people who have lived long lives. They will have a whole bunch of dogs and cats and things.

But I guess they don't poop or eat in heaven, so maybe it wouldn't be that bad?

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27-01-2014, 10:21 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
I distinctly remember having a conversation with my mom, after bedtime prayers, about whether or not animals would be allowed in heaven. My mom said no. I think that night was the first time I felt religious guilt. I no longer wanted to go to heaven if my pets and other animals would not be there. I tried to imagine what a place with only people and no animals or oceans would be like. Awful.

As I got older I just really really wanted for there to be sex in heaven.
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27-01-2014, 10:29 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
You know that there is no ocean in heaven!

It's hilarious...no oceans in heaven!!! That the most oddly specific thing about heaven! Why the fuck are there no oceans in heaven? I love the ocean! I live near the ocean because I love it. I can hear the waves from my house. Why would I want to live somewhere where we lose that? If anything there should be more ocean in heaven so that there would be more beach fronts.

No ocean means no whales, or dolphins, or sharks, or coral reefs, and crazy fish and cuddlefish, and lobsters and stuff. No surfing!!! What the fuck is that? No tide pools? Sunsets reflecting off the water. None of that? That's no heaven to me at all.

And the no eating and no sex part is ridiculous too.

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27-01-2014, 10:32 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
Heaven is sitting around on a cloud playing the harp with a silly grin on your face...for eternity, cause gawd likes that. Hopefully everyone can play in tune.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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27-01-2014, 10:38 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
Yeah if you add up all the people who have died in the course of human history, heaven is already more crowded than Hong Kong. Add pets and you're just asking for squished tails.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
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27-01-2014, 10:42 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
My doggie ain't going to no frickin' heaven unless he gets some doggie treats there.
No frickin way.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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27-01-2014, 10:51 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
(27-01-2014 10:38 PM)Ohio Sky Wrote:  Yeah if you add up all the people who have died in the course of human history, heaven is already more crowded than Hong Kong. Add pets and you're just asking for squished tails.

You're forgetting only pure Catholics go to heaven, and you can fit all of them into a '78 VW Beetle.

Check out my atheism blog. It's just a blog, no ads, no revenue, no gods.
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Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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27-01-2014, 10:51 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
(27-01-2014 10:29 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  You know that there is no ocean in heaven!

It's hilarious...no oceans in heaven!!! That the most oddly specific thing about heaven! Why the fuck are there no oceans in heaven? I love the ocean! I live near the ocean because I love it. I can hear the waves from my house. Why would I want to live somewhere where we lose that? If anything there should be more ocean in heaven so that there would be more beach fronts.

No ocean means no whales, or dolphins, or sharks, or coral reefs, and crazy fish and cuddlefish, and lobsters and stuff. No surfing!!! What the fuck is that? No tide pools? Sunsets reflecting off the water. None of that? That's no heaven to me at all.

And the no eating and no sex part is ridiculous too.

All very good points, especially about the "cuddlefish". Why would anyone want to be in a place without these? Big Grin

cuttlefish

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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27-01-2014, 10:54 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
(27-01-2014 10:51 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(27-01-2014 10:29 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  You know that there is no ocean in heaven!

It's hilarious...no oceans in heaven!!! That the most oddly specific thing about heaven! Why the fuck are there no oceans in heaven? I love the ocean! I live near the ocean because I love it. I can hear the waves from my house. Why would I want to live somewhere where we lose that? If anything there should be more ocean in heaven so that there would be more beach fronts.

No ocean means no whales, or dolphins, or sharks, or coral reefs, and crazy fish and cuddlefish, and lobsters and stuff. No surfing!!! What the fuck is that? No tide pools? Sunsets reflecting off the water. None of that? That's no heaven to me at all.

And the no eating and no sex part is ridiculous too.

All very good points, especially about the "cuddlefish". Why would anyone want to be in a place without these? Big Grin

[spoiler]cuttlefish[/spoiler

I know they are spelled cuttlefish. I realized that as I wrote it, but I left it alone because I find them adorable! So cuddlefish it remains! Big Grin

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27-01-2014, 10:56 PM
RE: Cat's in heaven?...is that even possible?
As a longtime cat owner, I can confidently say that all cats will burn in [insert underworld]. I don't think [insert deity] would want them in [insert paradise]. My cat is an asshole. Would you want to be tripping over cats for an eternity?
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