'Cause I don't need any stress or anger

[Chas]

(13-10-2017 03:16 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Thanks all...I have decided to be sure to take all meds, even the ones for stress and depression everyday, as prescribed and without fail.

I am also trying to compartmentalize all the crap going on.

When I go to work I totally immerse myself and don't allow thought of the finances or the daughter or the grandkids. I found some new podcasts...I plug in and work as long as I feel I can physically...I was so focused yesterday that at about noon I realized I hadn't even gone to the restroom since arriving at the office. I was that zoned in.

The mom thing....I have to let my siblings handle that...even though as the oldest I am sort of expected to take the lead I really have to let one of them handle it.

The finances are what they are...I have cut back some more on things to help with that.

I can only take things a piece at a time or I will end up in the hospital again, possibly with bad results.

I appreciate the support, as always.

A

Good plan.

[Anjele]

Yeah, so, the week after I had the heart attack Momzilla was hospitalized with a .2 blood alcohol content. One of her sisters is running herself ragged trying to deal with mom who in the course of the last few weeks has fallen and broken her arm so badly they had to put a plate in it. This aunt who is helping out has developed severe high BP and other heart issues....and then there's now...Momzilla was picked up by the sheriff and taken to the ER yesterday with a blood alcohol content of .3! As of noon today she was still in the ER because they don't know where to put her.

There's a geriatric mental unit that doesn't even want her. That's what they decided after my brother informed then she will be belligerent, she will lie, she will threaten to take action against the staff and the facility, and this isn't new behavior. He generously claimed she's been like this for about 40 years....I can personally vouch for 60.

Jesus H Christ. Good thing the doc upped my meds when I saw her Tuesday.

[Deesse23]

[SYZ]

(09-11-2017 04:14 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Yeah, so, the week after I had the heart attack Momzilla was hospitalized with a .2 blood alcohol content....

...Good thing the doc upped my meds when I saw her Tuesday.

I'm truly sorry to hear about all this ongoing drama for you Anjele. Please know that my thoughts are with you. And make absolutely sure you look after YOU.

[Ruby Crystal]

Sheesh, I'm sorry. I've read cases were the kids are taken away from parents because they use marijuana, but meth is much worse drug and nothing is done? Our system is damn well fucked up.

[Anjele]

So, mom has been drinking again...non-stop since I had the heart attack. She has gone from box wine to vodka and isn't hiding it any more from the one family member (an aunt) who checks on her. She did threaten to drink rubbing alcohol again if Sherry (my aunt) didn't go get her some liquor a couple weeks ago.

Sherry went to mom's house a couple days ago and found her sitting in a blood stained shirt from the day before when she had fallen and busted her eye. Sherry cleaned her up, again....put her to bed, again. And cleaned up the house, again.

Now mom is back in the hospital and has been intubated to help her breathe. Maybe pneumonia...maybe heart issues...who knows.

I am torn...so very torn. I really don't need to try to make a thousand mile drive in my current state of health and I really can't afford it. On the other hand...even though she isn't there when others are sick I can't imagine being in the ICU with no one to stop by and check on me.

So I have been awake for a couple hours making myself sick wondering what to do.

I have no illusions of driving out there and making amends with her but I am really struggling with what to do.

At the heart of it, I am a decent person (yeah, I know that's a shock to some).

I am torn...I really don't know what to do and I hate it.

[Deesse23]

[adey67]

I'm sorry Anjele. I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do but I can recount my experience with my father and my take on the situation.

When dad got so sick with his dementia we eventually had to put him in a home, every Thursday we took him out to church and every Monday out to town for coffee, as the dementia worsened it became really hard work, mum and I started to dread Thursday and Monday it would have been so easy to have just left him there on his own without trips out or very many visits just like so many other residents of the home, but we persevered and I'm glad we did because when the time came, when dad passed away there were no regrets there was no guilt,no shame, nothing left unsaid or undone. It made things so much easier for the both of us.
I hope you can find a solution for your dilemma that works for you.

[BnW]

Just saw this. Sorry you have all this going on. That's too much for anyone.

My suggestion is take care of you. You have no obligation to people who weren't there for you in your time of need. Don't put your own health at further risk. Not going to see your mother isn't selfish or petty, it's an impossibility given your situation.

Regarding your grandkids, I'm so sorry. The problem is that SC children's services probably have their hands tied by state law. My mom worked for the NJ equivalent agency for 30 years and the laws heavily favor the parents, even when it's not in the kids best interest. Social workers don't create the system, they just try to muddle through it.

[I'mFred]

Quote:I am torn...so very torn. I really don't need to try to make a thousand mile drive in my current state of health and I really can't afford it. On the other hand...even though she isn't there when others are sick I can't imagine being in the ICU with no one to stop by and check on me.

As you factor in the pros and cons I encourage you to reflect on the possibility that maybe you want to go because you want to be needed.

I’m not saying that’s the case. Obviously, I don’t know. It is, however, for me at least, easy to imagine you going out there and finding the experience very empty.

It sucks when all courses of action (and inaction) suck.