Cha-Cha-Changes....
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07-11-2015, 06:19 AM
Cha-Cha-Changes....
I was rooting through old emails and I found one that I sent myself. Sound a little odd? Well I do that all the time, I sent texts as well to remind myself of certain things I need to do etc.

However, the email I found highlights a different aspect of my life. An aspect that hasn't changed in foundation but in nature. I am a goal setter. I think there are definitely benefits for setting and achieving goals. Every year I make a goal list, break them down into quarters, months, etc and do what I need to do to make myself a more well-rounded individual in life. What strikes me is the way this particular set of goals looks now that I am "post-theism". This was taken from my 2013 list which just so happens to be when my doubts started poking their head up from the ground.

My point in this post is ask you, my fellow and fell-ed TTA colleagues, how your life in this area has changed since your deconversion? Your goals may be different as well but are your actions all that different? I find my actions really aren't that different, but my goals are very different and 2016 will be an epic year of things I need to decide to do: coming out completely? Embracing my decision in front of everyone? Focusing on humanitarian efforts more than myself? All these are issues I'm addressing and planning for.

Here's the the goal list I found for 2013:

Quote:This is "general". I'll have to build roadmaps to some of these so that i can break down the goal into achievable units.

2013 Mission statement:

To live a balanced, healthy lifestyle in all aspects of my life including spiritual, emotional, physical, and psychological. To love God, love people and love myself. To become and maintain a Christ-centered pillar for my family, church, and community so that God’s light can shine through me to all I come in contact with.

2013 Daily Prayer:

Lord, I give you praise for making me just as I am in your image. I am blessed beyond all measure and I realize that, through Christ, you have already placed everything that I need inside of me to achieve the life you would have me lead. I ask you to carefully guide me through the power of your Holy Spirit in every aspect of my life so that my family and others may follow after. I pray that no man sees me, but sees you in every action of my life today. Amen



1. Diet / Exercise

a. Eating well (not up in down in weight)

b. Exercise – maintain a healthy exercise program balanced with weights / cardio

c. Consistently monitor blood pressure and cholesterol



2. Music

a. Maintain a regular practice schedule to make strides towards being a better guitar player.

b. Maintain and grow gear knowledge for self and help of others

c. Maintain and grow network of musicians etc



3. Spiritual

a. Maintain regular schedule of personal devotional time

b. Take at least two classes offered at Grace

c. Read through two books for spiritual growth development

d. Find and join Life Group @Grace



4. Work

a. Promotion or new job

b. Read at least one book for work growth

c. Maintain and monitor all daily activities to make sure I am putting forth the best effort possible

d. Take at least 2-4 classes to build work knowledge

e. Network as much as possible



5. Marriage

a. Practice telling Sonya how important she is to you EVERY day. How much you love her, and how much building her up means to you and family.

b. Volunteer with Sonya



6. Kids

a. Develop relationship with kids that both can understand the Love that God has for them, the love I have for them. Relationship building exercises:

i. Game Night – SUNDAY NIGHT

ii. Family Bible Study night (kids focused) – WEDNESDAY NIGHT

iii. Helping kids with bible knowledge and application, skill development, i.e. sports, school etc.

**Crickets** -- God
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07-11-2015, 06:39 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
That was a little bit mind-blowing.

Much of the list was somewhat bewildering ... sorry... totally alien to me. No frame of reference ... does not compute.

The idea of making plans is something I teach but never practice. Too hedonistic, spontaneous or romantic, I suppose.

A christian acquaintance of mine does the planning thing ... 5 year goals broken down to 1 year, monthly and weekly. I'd tease her about giving no thought for the morrow. She'd counterclaim something about that not being in the bible but something about planning and investing being a teaching of Jesus.... facepalm.

All that aside, good luck with this year's reality-based goals.

Smile

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07-11-2015, 07:11 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
My goal is to wake up breathing......

If I get that done, I consider it a victory...

Big Grin

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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07-11-2015, 08:38 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
You are one focused dude!!!

I've been an atheist for a long time, but I remember when I used to write plans in my diary to be a better Christian. It was frustrating, because it was almost by definition unachievable--with God seeming to be equally upset by minor thought-based infractions like lusting after a boy and major ones like murdering somebody, what's the point of even trying? But I did.

Goals are valuable, but I have to be very careful about setting them. My rebellious streak kicks in sometimes even with goals that are important to me and set by me, for some reason. I'll work with to-do lists for three or four days and then have to take a break from listing stuff for a week. I totally agree with you that leaving religion gave me more time to focus on what's really important.

Instead of New Year's goals, I use my birthday to do a year in review kind of thing where I consider what I got done in the past year, what went really well, where I fell flat, and what I'd like to happen in the next year. My birthday's in fall, when I tend to feel energetic and happy about starting stuff, and that's one of the reasons I use that rather than January, which can be a gloomy time for me.
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07-11-2015, 08:40 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
My list when I was a Christian would probably be similar to yours in the sense that everything I did was God-based. Is this the career path God wants for me? Is this the man God wants for me? What can I do to be a better Christian in the eyes of God? Am I doing right by God in x, y, or z scenario? Not once did I stop to think about what was right *for me.* It was always what God wanted--how God wanted me to be.

Now I live my life for me, doing what *I* want to do, doing what is right *for me.* I am still the same person, my morals are the same, I still try and help people whenever I can, I still volunteer, I am still vegan, I'm still *me.* The only difference is that I assess situations based on *my* dreams/desires/wants/needs and not on what a magical sky daddy wants for me.

I felt trapped in a cage by religion. I felt like I was trying to be someone I wasn't and was living my life in a way I didn't want to be living it--all to please God. After kicking God's ass out the door, I feel extremely free now. Smile

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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07-11-2015, 08:58 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
I don't plan ahead too much. Even when I was a believer I wasn't interested in the slightest in God's plans for me. Possibly why evangelists had a hard time with me even then. All I've ever really cared about is sex, exercise, general science, maths (not that I got much beyond calculus in terms of stuff that I managed to retain after university), music and literature in that order. At the moment I am becoming slightly more politically aware from the simple fact that dickheads seem to run the show and I hate dickheads.

Oh yeah, the sex thing, I did become quite sexually stunted as a believer due to all the bullshit that they lay on you - the higher your sex drive, the more your sinfulness, the harder you fall and the more guilt you seem to acquire. I believed those fuckers, probably saved myself from a few early brushes with STDs but at the same time missed out on a lot of fun. Fuck those fucking fuckers.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-11-2015, 09:08 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
Plan for '16
.Finish the school year successfully

Get a better paying, steady job

Acquire a driver's license
Get laid more often
Quit smoking(unrealistic)

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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07-11-2015, 09:41 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
(07-11-2015 09:08 AM)Lightvader Wrote:  Quit smoking(unrealistic)

I urge you to at least try.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-11-2015, 09:54 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
(07-11-2015 06:19 AM)Tonechaser77 Wrote:  I was rooting through old emails and I found one that I sent myself. Sound a little odd? Well I do that all the time, I sent texts as well to remind myself of certain things I need to do etc.

However, the email I found highlights a different aspect of my life. An aspect that hasn't changed in foundation but in nature. I am a goal setter. I think there are definitely benefits for setting and achieving goals. Every year I make a goal list, break them down into quarters, months, etc and do what I need to do to make myself a more well-rounded individual in life. What strikes me is the way this particular set of goals looks now that I am "post-theism". This was taken from my 2013 list which just so happens to be when my doubts started poking their head up from the ground.

My point in this post is ask you, my fellow and fell-ed TTA colleagues, how your life in this area has changed since your deconversion? Your goals may be different as well but are your actions all that different? I find my actions really aren't that different, but my goals are very different and 2016 will be an epic year of things I need to decide to do: coming out completely? Embracing my decision in front of everyone? Focusing on humanitarian efforts more than myself? All these are issues I'm addressing and planning for.

Here's the the goal list I found for 2013:

Quote:This is "general". I'll have to build roadmaps to some of these so that i can break down the goal into achievable units.

2013 Mission statement:

To live a balanced, healthy lifestyle in all aspects of my life including spiritual, emotional, physical, and psychological. To love God, love people and love myself. To become and maintain a Christ-centered pillar for my family, church, and community so that God’s light can shine through me to all I come in contact with.

2013 Daily Prayer:

Lord, I give you praise for making me just as I am in your image. I am blessed beyond all measure and I realize that, through Christ, you have already placed everything that I need inside of me to achieve the life you would have me lead. I ask you to carefully guide me through the power of your Holy Spirit in every aspect of my life so that my family and others may follow after. I pray that no man sees me, but sees you in every action of my life today. Amen



1. Diet / Exercise

a. Eating well (not up in down in weight)

b. Exercise – maintain a healthy exercise program balanced with weights / cardio

c. Consistently monitor blood pressure and cholesterol



2. Music

a. Maintain a regular practice schedule to make strides towards being a better guitar player.

b. Maintain and grow gear knowledge for self and help of others

c. Maintain and grow network of musicians etc



3. Spiritual

a. Maintain regular schedule of personal devotional time

b. Take at least two classes offered at Grace

c. Read through two books for spiritual growth development

d. Find and join Life Group @Grace



4. Work

a. Promotion or new job

b. Read at least one book for work growth

c. Maintain and monitor all daily activities to make sure I am putting forth the best effort possible

d. Take at least 2-4 classes to build work knowledge

e. Network as much as possible



5. Marriage

a. Practice telling Sonya how important she is to you EVERY day. How much you love her, and how much building her up means to you and family.

b. Volunteer with Sonya



6. Kids

a. Develop relationship with kids that both can understand the Love that God has for them, the love I have for them. Relationship building exercises:

i. Game Night – SUNDAY NIGHT

ii. Family Bible Study night (kids focused) – WEDNESDAY NIGHT

iii. Helping kids with bible knowledge and application, skill development, i.e. sports, school etc.

Congratulations on waking up and not being such an asshole anymore. Thumbsup

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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07-11-2015, 10:11 AM
RE: Cha-Cha-Changes....
Oh my! Thank dog that I scrapped the bible when I was 10.

Congrats on your deconversion, must have been a hard path. Thumbsup

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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