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29-01-2015, 04:55 AM
RE: Changes
(28-01-2015 11:10 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  The only thing that really worries me right now is the possibility that I get to Seattle and find that it's not the saving grace I hope it to be.

Well, Seattle should be a fresh breath of air, but you are the one who is going to make it whatever it will be for you.

The key will be for you to meet lots of people, locate lots of ways to change the way you live life now. Venture out of your comfort zone - and the move will be the first step, not the last one. I think it will empower you - put you in charge of your life. I hope all your ambitions will come true - but probably only a part will and you'll develop some new ones.

Nothing like change and growth to energize your life!

I am excited for you! Thumbsup

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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29-01-2015, 07:55 AM
RE: Changes
(28-01-2015 11:10 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  So, things have calmed down since posting this thread. I've pulled away from the mistress and she from me. I could start speculating as to why she's pulled away from me, but I'm not going to torture myself. My sister has accepted that I'm leaving, and even entertained the idea of going with me, but decided against it. I've informed my clients about everything and they're all happy for me. All I have to do is type up a detailed explanation of my workouts and my methods so they'll have something to work with when I'm gone. (Plus I'll be skyping with a few of them once I'm gone, so they'll still have me. I just won't get paid)

My bro left today. The appointment to sign the lease has been set for Monday, so he's hoping to get there just in time to get everything set up for us. Meanwhile, I've just gotta give my car a tune-up and visit my doctor one last time about this ulcer. After that, there's nothing keeping me here.

I really can't wait to be gone. I've been dealing with all of this shit for so long and it's reached the point that I just want to wash my hands of it. There are still lingering emotions and a sense of hesitation about leaving, but I'm leaving. I'm too burned out and too fed-up with this place to care about anything but leaving. I don't even want to wait until the final loose ends have been tied up. My bro is forging West as we speak, and I'd give anything to be there with him. I'm ready.

The only thing that really worries me right now is the possibility that I get to Seattle and find that it's not the saving grace I hope it to be. I want it to be a rush of fresh, rejuvenating air in my lungs, but there's a part of me that knows it might not work out that way. I have a foreboding sense that it'll turn out to be less of a no-holds-barred party and more of a dolled-up version of the same life I'm living now. That idea terrifies me.


The first thing I'm gonna focus on is getting myself established. Do some bartending while I work on building up my client base. Then, when I've gathered the resources, I'll get my own apartment in or around the same building as my bro. (It'll be awesome to live with him, but I'm gonna want my own space as soon as possible) After that, I don't know what'll happen. I know it's probably not reality, but I've got this far-fetched fantasy (as far as I'm concerned) that I'll meet a sweet young gal and end up wanting to spend my life with her. Then we'll either have a baby or find a house somewhere just outside of the city. Whichever comes first. And all the while, I'll be working on my books and signing movie deals and all that good stuff.

So goes the plan, anyway. But like I said, I'm a little too jaded to be confident about any of that. The way my life tends to play out, I'll be disappointed by how things are going; have a string of toxic relationships; drink myself into oblivion down at the Irish pub and wind up cold and lifeless underneath an overpass or somewhere in the woods with a gun in my hand and the back of my skull missing. I'm a little more unfazed about that possibility than I probably should be.

Anyway, that's then. This is now. Just a few more weeks (a month at the most) and I'm out. My stuff loaded in the back; my music loud; my shades on and the open West ahead of me. I'm excited about discovering whatever future awaits me. Shy

I wish you well. Don't let the inevitable reversals get you down.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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29-01-2015, 08:55 AM
RE: Changes
Just remember that while the change of moving is an awesome start (proud of you for the follow through) it's the life choices that make the real change. Be very mindful of past choices and mistakes and don't make those decisions again!

Congrats again however! Welcome to the west coast.

(Insert one of the many reasons why Oregon is better than Washington here)
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29-01-2015, 11:01 AM
RE: Changes
One of the many things to look forward to is the beauty of the Northwest. Mt Rainier is nearby and the Cascade Mountain Range will beckon you. But of course, you have to be in a mental place to see the beauty and play in it.

Another plus, a big plus actually, is that the Northwest isn't strewn with religious nuts. There's a few, but religion isn't so pervasive here.

Welcome, welcome!

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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07-02-2015, 03:28 AM
RE: Changes
Got the first pictures of the apartment and city a few days ago. My bro is all moved in and has begun furnishing the place, so it's really starting to look like home. Then he sent me a bunch of pictures of the local bars and I got really excited. lol

For the first time in a long, long time (I'm talking years), I'm feeling good. Seattle was an idea before, but after staring at the pictures and knowing that I'll soon walk on those exact floors; sit on those exact barstools; work clients in that exact gym; make mad love in that exact bed; do bong hits on that exact balcony (I'll have my card! I'll have my card...it's ok); park in that exact parking garage...you get the idea. After meditating on that, I felt pure excitement wash over me. What's more, a close friend of mine is talking about joining me in my expedition. Even if she doesn't, I'll still be taking my step into a new life, and I couldn't be more excited about that.

I can't believe I feel this free. I really can't; especially when I consider that, just a few weeks ago, I was finished with life. Not that I'd know what I was missing if I were dead, but, I'm alive and well aware that big things are waiting to be embraced.

My arms are open, and I can't stop smiling. Angel

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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07-02-2015, 12:59 PM
RE: Changes
(07-02-2015 03:28 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  My arms are open, and I can't stop smiling. Angel

Heart

Hug

That's what I like to read. Smile


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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