Childfree advice
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25-09-2013, 10:09 AM
RE: Childfree advice
(24-09-2013 03:32 PM)Hypatia Wrote:  
(24-09-2013 10:21 AM)Dom Wrote:  That is what happens, your friends start having kids and that seems all they can ever talk about anymore. Understandably so, kids do consume your life. But it does make you unable to relate anymore...

The same is true though if you deconvert and all your friends are still talking about god all day long.

Or if you stay single and most of your friends get married.

It's a more common phenomenon than we realize, with different causes and the same effect.

THAT IS SO TRUE!!! We have some (FOUR couples) childless by choice friends, and they are different people entirely even though we are the same age. They think differently about a great deal of the being totally apolitical because they don't have progeny to worry makes them very "SELF" absorbed...and I don't mean that in the bad way at all....they just have more to do than wipe noses and sit on bleachers at football practice so they are increasingly detached from our social circles as time goes on....and the point of what Im saying is that>>>

While they never wanted children, we, the friends they HAD "BB" (Before Breeding), are different people TOO. Personally, when our kids fledged, our childless friends were still there, and our interests re-converged.

But in the mean time you are going to have to husband a new social group. And trust me, you won't miss not having energy draining offspring to clean up after anymore than I miss not having filthy indoor animals to clean up after. It is ALL a matter of personal choice. And THANK YOU for having the wisdom to know you don't have the temperament to raise children. THAT takes real foresight and maturity...because you can't take kids to the pound when you get tired of them. Neglected children end up in our jail system and that is EVERYONE'S problem.

I applaud you making the choice that is right for you. And fuck'em if they don't like it.

And anal? .....Overrated.

We still have friends that have children. They are of the non-obnoxious, non-sanctimommy variety though. They have kids, they love kids, they respect our dislike of kids. We don't hang out nearly as much as we used to, but that's to be expected.

Trying to find childless couples in their 30s is like trying to find atheists in the bible belt. They're there, it just a matter of rooting them out and connecting. We've mostly dealt with the latter, now we're trying to find the childfree couples.

Thanks for the kind words, if more people comprehended those few sentences, this would not be an issue. I know I would harbor resentment if I had kids. My wife and I are very us-centric. We have dreams and aspirations that do not involve spending 20+ years putting those dreams on hold so maybe we can enjoy life together for a few decades in retirement. The plans we have would either be crushed or severely oppressed by having children, and that is not a viable option for us.

Oh, and despite the words of Christopher Hitchens, anal is NOT overrated.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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